The Thorns Prediction Game

Matchday 13: Back to the steambath

The Thorns beat Washington 1-0 as Olivia Moultrie registered her first start and dished a lovely cross for Charley to head home. Daniel Stratton guessed a Moultrie assist and was this week’s winner, after getting shut out last time. Cap’n Sinc socks with gold medals earned 4-4-2 the two-point wild bonus. Roses remains in the middle-of-the-pack position.

[1-0 win: Charley from Moultrie. First yellow = Andy Sullivan, no red]

Perhaps the Thorns stayed out East, since they next go to Florida on Saturday, August 14 to face the Pride at 4:30 pm on Paramount +. Orlando’s season is falling apart after a red-hot start. They went winless for six matches before last weekend in Chicago. Most of their Olympians could be back, as may be the Thorns’. The weather forecast is normal for August in Florida – afternoon thunderstorms, 85 degrees and humid.

[Last meeting: At Providence Park July 18, 2021. Thorns 2 – Pride 1]

How this works:
Add a comment to this post. As your first line, put your predicted result, for example 3-1 Thorns.

In the body of your comment, start with the goals and assists, like so:
Charley (Klingenberg)
Salem (Free kick)
Moultrie (Unassisted)
Marta (PK)

Next, name the first yellow card recipient: Marta, for petulance
Then a red card. (NOTE: no points awarded for correctly calling a red-card-free match, so take a guess.) Jonsdottir, as a make-up call for Weaver’s injury.

Make your fun prediction, and give a “thumbs up” to anybody else’s prediction that tickles your fancy: The governor of Florida, channeling a famous resident’s anger at Megan Rapinoe, requires all professional women’s sports players to wear masks outside the locker room. The league is able to get a restraining order in time for the match.

· Correct score: 5 points
· Correct result (draw/win/loss): 3 points
· Each clean sheet: 2 points
· Each goal-scorer: 1 point
· Each FK/PK/assist/lack of assist: 1 point
· Goal/assist bonus: 1 point
· Player with the first yellow card of the match: 1 point
· A player with a red card: 1 point
· Most liked/most outrageously accurate prediction: 2 points

Some ground rules and explanations/clarifications (the fine print):
Comments must be posted before kickoff, but you can edit or amend an earlier prediction right up to the starting whistle.

Keep your scoreline predictions realistic. No crazy scores just to pad out your odds of getting goals and assists.

The goal/assist bonus is an additional point if you predict the correct scorer and assistant on the same goal, for example, you say Hubly scores from a Boureille assist and that is exactly what happens. P.S. if you say exactly that, and it happens, I will hunt you down and buy you a beer!

Be clear whether you think a goal will be unassisted, assisted, or from a PK/FK. Unassisted = no assist, run of play; Assisted = player who got the assist; PK/FK = not in run of play. For the purposes of this thread, Penalty Kick and Free Kick are the same thing. No entry means unassisted.

The game thread will usually be posted 48 hours before each match.

Have fun, tell your friends, let me know if you have any questions or if I screw up your score.

Richard Hamje
Latest posts by Richard Hamje (see all)

6 thoughts on “The Thorns Prediction Game

  1. Thorns 2-0 Pride

    Rodriguez (Klingenberg)
    Smith (Menges)

    YC: Jonsdottir
    RC: Kornieck

    The heat and humidity in Orlando, even after 7 pm, are such that each player creates her own storm cloud overhead, with occasional showers. Fortunately none of them develop to the point that the game is delayed by lightning. The coaches quickly realize that the size of each player’s cloud is an indicator of her effort, and later of fatigue, and they use this information in timing substitutions.

  2. I’m going to guess that oppressive weather plus attacking underperformance plus Portland defending = low score, so let’s go with a classic:

    0-1 Portland

    Hubly (Klingenberg)

    YC: Jonsdottir
    RC: Pogarch

    I was going to make the funny story about Marta’s 93rd-minute equalizer being disallowed because she was playing despite being on COVID travel quarantine at which point I stopped and thought “Wait. Florida? COVID quarantine? Hahahahahaha..!” and decided that the whole thing was too sad to be funny…

  3. Thorns 2-1 Pride

    Smith (Moultrie)
    Charley (Kling corner)
    Kornieck (LaReux [sp?])

    YC: Klingenberg
    RC: Bixby

    With multiple coaching vacancies roiling the league this year, Sinclair and other teams’ veterans take it upon themselves to provide quality coaching. During the game, the league announces major concessions in the upcoming CBA negotiations in order to generate good press.

    (Sorry for missing a few predictions … we’ve been traveling out of reception for several days.)

  4. 1-1 Tie
    Smith (Weaver)

    YC Kornieck
    YC Po

    RC Marta

    None of our Olympic players are back & our stalwarts who haven’t lost a game are tired & wounded. Orlando scores early. Thorns struggle to hold them of “til the 88th minute when Weaver is subbed on. Her Energizer Bunny spirit lifts the team up immediately. Weaver sends a gorgeous cross to Smith who slams the ball home. Whistle blows- Full time.

  5. 2-0 Thorns

    Smith (Everett)
    Rocky (PK)

    YC: Krieger
    RC: Harris

    Marta is seen giving Moultrie (who turns 16 in September)driving lessons around Orlando, causing severe consternation amongst fans, coaches, teammates, and locals.

  6. 0-2

    Rocky (Kuikka)

    YC Petersen
    RC Parsons

    The pitch is invaded by an alligator and the security chase entice it off the field with dead poultry.


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