The Thorns Prediction Game

Semi-Final Match.

The season finale was a yawner with almost no serious attempts on goal by either team. North Carolina didn’t even make a substitution. There wasn’t even a yellow card. None of our players predicted a draw but everyone got two points for the clean sheet! Roses had the most popular wild yarn with a story of Parsons’ Airing of the Grievances, a bit early for Festivus.

[0-0 draw, no yellow or red card.]

NOTE: Should we win the semi-final match, the Final is November 20 which means the prediction game will open on the 18th at 9:00am PST for the last time in 2021. I will post the final standings and awards the day after our last match, either the 15th or 21st, so check back and see if/what you’ve won!

Roses is (permanently?) in the middle-of-the-pack prize spot

The semifinal match sees the Thorns hosting the Chicago Red Stars. The women from the Windy City played a quarter-final match that was sleepier than our season closer, with twenty-six fouls and only a pair of shots worth the name. And that was a game that “mattered”.

The winner Sunday goes on to Louisville for the NWSL Championship. The stakes don’t get much bigger.

[Last meeting: September 25, 2021 at SeatGeek Park, 1-2 Thorns loss. Last playoff meeting: October 20, 2019 at then-Toyota Park, 0-1 Thorns loss.]

How this works:
Add a comment to this post. As your first line, put your predicted result, for example 3-1 Thorns.

In the body of your comment, start with the goals and assists, like so:
Smith (Klingenberg)
Salem (Free kick)
Moultrie (Unassisted)
Malory Pugh (PK)

Next, name the first yellow card recipient: Sarah Woldmoe
Then a red card. (NOTE: no points awarded for correctly calling a red-card-free match, so take a guess.) Cassie Miller for handling the ball out of the box, with Morgan Weaver applying the pressure.

Make your fun prediction, and give a “thumbs up” to anybody else’s prediction that tickles your fancy: The fourth official sends Rory Dames back to the dressing room to change after he comes out wearing the same hoodie, unwashed and reeking, that he wore for the 2019 semi-final.

Scoring:
· Correct score: 5 points
· Correct result (draw/win/loss): 3 points
· Each clean sheet: 2 points
· Each goal-scorer: 1 point
· Each FK/PK/assist/lack of assist: 1 point
· Goal/assist bonus: 1 point
· Player with the first yellow card of the match: 1 point
· A player with a red card: 1 point
· Most liked/most outrageously accurate prediction: 2 points

Some ground rules and explanations/clarifications (the fine print):
Comments must be posted before kickoff, but you can edit or amend an earlier prediction right up to the starting whistle.

Keep your scoreline predictions realistic. No crazy scores just to pad out your odds of getting goals and assists.

The goal/assist bonus is an additional point if you predict the correct scorer and assistant on the same goal, for example, you say Hubly scores from a Boureille assist and that is exactly what happens. P.S. if you say exactly that, and it happens, I will hunt you down and buy you a beer!

Be clear whether you think a goal will be unassisted, assisted, or from a PK/FK. Unassisted = no assist, run of play; Assisted = player who got the assist; PK/FK = not in run of play. For the purposes of this thread, Penalty Kick and Free Kick are the same thing. No entry means unassisted.

The game thread will usually be posted 48 hours before each match.

Richard Hamje
Latest posts by Richard Hamje (see all)

8 thoughts on “The Thorns Prediction Game

  1. 1-0

    Weaver (Kling)

    Chicago hold down defensively solid as Portland does their usual thing, peppering a set of shots wide, high, softly and right at defenders. Until it is the 85th minute where on a rare Chicago corner Kling releases a perfectly weighted over the top ball that Weaver latches on to and slides it into the goal.

    Her dog breaks free from their handler and the two of them celebrate togehter dancing on two paws.

    YC Horan
    RC Pugh

    0
    1. OUT: Julie Ertz (right thigh), Casey Krueger (illness), Alyssa Naeher (right knee), Mallory Pugh (under Covid protocol), Kayla Sharples (under Covid protocol)

      OUT: Crystal Dunn (pregnancy)
      QUESTIONABLE: Lindsey Horan (facial)

      No idea what the facial injury is,
      I am swapping My Red since Pugh is out, to DiBernardo

      0
  2. 2-0 Thorns

    Sinc (pk)
    S. Smith (Kuikka)

    YC: Kling
    RC: Gorden

    Abbey and Sheldon both come down with bad colds…once again Nadine has to step up as 2nd string keeper. But who will be her backup? The crowd waits anxiously to see who emerges from the locker room….could it be? It is! The stadium erupts as none other than the new GM, Karina LeBlanc, comes trotting out decked in full keeper gear, looking like she never left.

    4
  3. I was going to call this one a scoreless draw (Portland 5-4 a.e.t.)

    But then Mal Pugh “did her own research” and screwed her team (if I was DiBernardo or any one of her teammates I’d kick her tail all around the locker room…)

    So I’m joining the crowd:

    1-nil

    Sinclair (pen)

    YC: Watt
    RC: Watt (2nd YC)

    The match is delayed for 27 minutes as Tanner Creek breaks out of its culvert and floods the pitch, triggering a soil failure of the subgrade under the west stands. That, in turn, flushes the colony of feral cats out from under the stands onto the pitch, where the entire maintenance staff plus the FO crew is trying to mop up the water. A huge soaking wet orange tomcat attacks Gavin Wilkinson as he plies his wet-dry shop vac, motivating the RCR to award it the “Supporters Kitty of the Year” while Merritt Paulson and Sunday White get into a swordfight with mop handles on the main capo stand.

    Both teams convene under the awning near the northwest corner, sending the rookies out for Starbucks and marveling at the weirdness of life.

    1
  4. Thorns 2-0 Red Stars

    Horan (Klingenberg)
    Weaver (Rodriguez)

    YC: Gautrat
    RC: Doniak

    Wilder than wild prediction: After the game Karina LeBlanc escorts Merritt Paulson onto the stand in front of 107, where, in a cloud of black smoke, the Riveters present him with the Supporters’ Owner of the Year (SOOTY) award.

    1
      1. It was only questionable not out, but now yes out. Bad training collision that messed up her eye. Lost vision for a few hours, doing better, but is being held out as second incident today could lead to permanent problems.

        0
  5. 1 (Thorns)-0 (Chicago)

    Smith-Sinclair

    YC-Weaver

    I TOLD my husband Dunn was pregnant months ago. During this game he will finally realize that I am always* right & pledge his eternal obeisance.

    *except when it comes to Thorns predictions for which I am evidently middling

    1

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