The Thorns Prediction Game

Matchday 3: Thorns visit Orlando

Well that was a major bummer! Not only did the Thorns get embarrassed by a clearly inferior team, our prediction game players were mostly blanked. This week saw lots of folks join the game. But unless you called a Sinclair or Rapinoe goal, you didn’t score.

Don’t give up! There are 22+ games to come, so plenty of chances to get to the top of the table.

Here is our table after the Reign match:

Next is a long flight to Florida to face the Pride on Wednesday at 4:00 pm (Paramount+). The second-place Pride! It has been many years since anyone said that of them, but 2021 looks like a turnaround year for the Mouseketeers. For the Thorns, the travel, the forecast 93-degree high, and the short rest make this a daunting task. Are they up for it?

How this works:
Add a comment to this post. As your first line, put your predicted result, for example 3-1 Thorns.

In the body of your comment, start with the goals and assists, like so:
Smith  (Klingenberg)
Horan (Free kick)
Weaver (Unassisted)
Morgan (PK)

Next, name the first yellow card recipient: First yellow to Marta.
Then reds, if any. (NOTE: no points awarded for correctly calling a red-card-free match, so take a guess.) Jonsdottir forgets she has a yellow from early in the match and get a second one late for kicking the ball away.

Make your fun prediction, and give a “thumbs up” to anybody else’s prediction that tickles your fancy: Sidney Leroux brings her kids on the pitch after the match holding signs saying “My mommy doesn’t want me playing on AstroTurf anyway!”

· Correct score: 5 points
· Correct result (draw/win/loss): 3 points
· Each clean sheet: 2 points
· Each goal-scorer: 1 point
· Each FK/PK/assist/lack of assist: 1 point
· Goal/assist bonus: 1 point
· Player with the first yellow card of the match: 1 point
· Each player with a red card: 1 point (Cannot earn points for predicting 0 red cards)
· Most liked/most outrageously accurate prediction: 2 points

Some ground rules and explanations/clarifications (the fine print):
Comments must be posted before kickoff, but you can edit or amend an earlier prediction right up to the starting whistle.

Keep your scoreline predictions realistic. No crazy scores just to pad out your odds of getting goals and assists.

The goal/assist bonus is an additional point if you predict the correct scorer and assistant on the same goal, for example, you say Hubly scores from a Boureille assist and that is exactly what happens. P.S. if you say exactly that, and it happens, I will hunt you down and buy you a beer!

Be clear whether you think a goal will be unassisted, assisted, or from a PK/FK. Unassisted = no assist, run of play; Assisted = player who got the assist; PK/FK = not in run of play. For the purposes of this thread, Penalty Kick and Free Kick are the same thing. No entry means unassisted.

The game thread will usually be posted 48 hours before each match.

Have fun, tell your friends, let me know if you have any questions or if I screw up your score.

Richard Hamje
Latest posts by Richard Hamje (see all)

10 thoughts on “The Thorns Prediction Game

  1. 3-1 Thorns

    Smith (Rodriguez)
    Horan (Dunn)
    Charley (Sinclair)

    Leroux (Viggiano)
    First yellow Krieger
    Red: Horan

    Fun prediction: At the final whistle, Sinc gives the signal and the team is airlifted out, because 90 minutes in Florida is about the limit for anyone per CDC guidelines.

  2. 2-1 Orlando

    Morgan (Kornieck)
    Charley (Horan)
    Marta (u/a)

    YC: Horan
    RC: Jonsdottir

    Olivia Moultrie tries to come on for Lussi in the 94th minute but is tackled to the ground and dragged off the pitch by Commissioner Baird as the phones document every moment for the resulting lawsuits…

  3. 2-2

    Sinc (PK)
    Smith (Weaver)

    Kornieck (Marta)
    Morgan (Kornieck)

    YC: Petersen
    RC: Jonsdottir

    Jason Sudeikis is seen hanging around the Pride bench before the game. When Kornieck scores she and Morgan break into a surprisingly good rendition of Let it Go while Marta runs in circles screaming “Football is Life!!!”.

  4. Thorns 3-2 Pride

    Sinclair (PK)
    Smith (Weaver)
    Lussi (Pogarch)

    Morgan (Marta)
    Kornieck (Jonsdottir)

    YC: Kornieck
    RC: Dougherty-Howard

    Even though the temperature is beginning to ease by kickoff, the Florida sun is brutal. Focusing through Harris’s water bottle, it sets the Orlando net on fire, causing it to burst into flame just as Sinclair buries her PK. Black smoke!

    1. Happy Birthday, Lindsey.
      I’d like to replace my Lussi goal with a Horan birthday free kick goal

  5. 2-2

    On short rest, traveling and the loss of a hangover we have one of our worse games against Orlando ever and draw with them away.

    Marta set piece

    Horan (Sinc)

    First yellow Harris
    RC Krieger

    Missing another call up, Harris and Krieger throw a protest pre-match and just sit on the field. Refusing for a full 3 minutes to let play continue. Both are shown 2 delay of game cards before kickoff and Orlando must play with 9 from the start of the game.

  6. Thorns 3-3 Pride

    Sinclair (PK)
    Smith (Weaver)
    Horan (header off Kling corner)

    Marta (unassisted)
    Morgan (Jonsdottir)
    Tymrak (Marta)

    YC: Horan
    RC: Harris (time-wasting twice)

    Morgan spikes the ball after her goal, ironically calling back to Paul Riley’s “they don’t play soccer” comment. Riley responds mid-game by saying that the Thorns don’t play soccer either; these remarks are broadcast in the stadium during halftime. The Thorns respond by dribbling, basketball-style, during all dead-ball moments.

  7. Thorns 2-1 Orlando

    Smith (Weaver)
    Horan (Sinc) – I’m going to keep guessing this til it happens because we need Horan Headers back.

    Morgan (Marta)

    YC: Horan

    My brain is too deflated from the Sunday game :(. Enjoyed all the others tho


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.