The Thorns Prediction Game

Matchday 2: Thorns host OL Reign

We have our first week’s winner; Constant Weeder, with 10 points for predicting a Thorns win, clean sheet, Sinclair PK and the most popular wild suggestion of a fashion plate throwdown.

Here is our table after one week:

Next is OL Reign. Their reinforcements have not arrived from Europe, but Allie Long is gone. There is still quality in their side, but less than there was a few weeks ago or will be a few weeks from now. So maybe the Thorns are catching them at a good time. What’s your guess for how it goes on Sunday at 3:00pm? (on CBS Sports Network – good luck with that!).

How this works:
Add a comment to this post. As your first line, put your predicted result, for example 3-1 Thorns.

In the body of your comment, start with the goals and assists, like so:
Smith  (Klingenberg)
Horan (Free kick)
Weaver (Unassisted)
Rapinoe (PK)

Next, name the first yellow card recipient: First yellow to Fishlock.
Then reds, if any. (NOTE: no points awarded for correctly calling a red-card-free match, so take a guess.) Second yellow to Fishlock.

Make your fun prediction, and give a “thumbs up” to anybody else’s prediction that tickles your fancy: Fishlock actually gets a third yellow for not leaving the pitch promptly. The DiscCo has their little minds blown by this and decide to just eat tacos and drink beer on Tuesday.

· Correct score: 5 points
· Correct result (draw/win/loss): 3 points
· Each clean sheet: 2 points
· Each goal-scorer: 1 point
· Each FK/PK/assist/lack of assist: 1 point
· Goal/assist bonus: 1 point
· Player with the first yellow card of the match: 1 point
· Each player with a red card: 1 point (Cannot earn points for predicting 0 red cards)
· Most liked/most outrageously accurate prediction: 2 points

Some ground rules and explanations/clarifications (the fine print):
Comments must be posted before kickoff, but you can edit or amend an earlier prediction right up to the starting whistle.

Keep your scoreline predictions realistic. No crazy scores just to pad out your odds of getting goals and assists.

The goal/assist bonus is an additional point if you predict the correct scorer and assistant on the same goal, for example, you say Hubly scores from a Boureille assist and that is exactly what happens. P.S. if you say exactly that, and it happens, I will hunt you down and buy you a beer!

Be clear whether you think a goal will be unassisted, assisted, or from a PK/FK. Unassisted = no assist, run of play; Assisted = player who got the assist; PK/FK = not in run of play. For the purposes of this thread, Penalty Kick and Free Kick are the same thing. No entry means unassisted.

The game thread will usually be posted 48 hours before each match.

Have fun, tell your friends, let me know if you have any questions or if I screw up your score.

Richard Hamje
Latest posts by Richard Hamje (see all)

12 thoughts on “The Thorns Prediction Game

  1. 2-1 Thorns

    Charlie (Sync)
    Smith (Weaver)
    King (Fishlock)

    Y: Fishlock
    R: Angelina

    Tziarra (yes I had to lookup how to spell that) King decides to out-do Rapinoe by dying her hair green. Fishlock decides to show them both up by dying hers half pink and half green, which only serves to confuse the rest of the team, who mistake her for one of the forwards depending on which side they are on.

  2. Thorns 3-1 Reign

    Weaver (unassisted)
    Rodriguez (Klingenberg)
    Sinclair (Weaver)
    Rapinoe (Balcer)
    YC: Cruz
    RC: Angelina

    The teams arrive at Providence Park to discover that due to the exigencies of TV scheduling they have kickoffs at all of the announced times; 1:00, 3:00 and 7:00. The NWSL refuses to call off any of the games, but recognizing the difficulty this poses for the players, they suspend the roster size limit and allow OL Reign to fly in Marozsán, Bouhaddi and Le Sommer for the day. They also allow the Thorns to augment their roster by signing Olivia Moultrie. The players are somewhat dismayed at the prospect of 270 minutes of soccer in eight hours, but they are buoyed by the possibility of a nine-point day.

    1. Interesting that we both picked Angelina as first RC…something about her style of play…then again, you and I have oft been aligned on picks in the past when I went by a moniker with ties to our two favorite Emilies.

  3. Thorns – 3, Reign – 1 (I’m not just copying Constant Weeder here- despite the fact that it’s clearly the way to go).

    Charley (Weaver)
    Sinclair (Kling)
    Horan (Sinc) – she’s going to start getting her headers in!
    Fishlock (Pinoe)

    Fishlock plays the entire game in a Tasmanian Devil like frenzy, embodying her Providence-Park-villain-everybody-loves-to-hate-her persona (she actually dons a purple moustache and twirls it while maniacally chuckling near the goalposts). Pinoe tries like crazy to get one in, but succeeds only in dinking a gorgeous pass to the chuckling, moustachioed Fishlock who jams it in.

    Horan’s header is a beaut propelled as it is by the aggregate frustration of months and months of near-misses.

    Henry, watching the game from Lyon, decides she needs to join the Thorns again and brings Nadia and Ellie with her (because that’s what I dream about at night).

  4. I’m going to be the pessimist here; I think we’re going to be flat after that Chicago romp and I think Tacoma is going to come in here full of piss and vinegar.


    Sinclair (PK)
    Smith (Horan)
    Rapinoe (Fishlock)

    YC – Horan
    RC – Fishlock

    As the deadlock nears the 90th minute an altercation breaks out in one of the luxury boxes, where the fans are surprised to see the Harrys – Long and Heath – both wearing Arsenal shirts and pissed to the eyebrows, arguing loudly about who has better reason to resent the Portland Front Office. The pair stagger out the Morrison street gate in injury time, singing “No one loves us, we don’t care.”

  5. This prediction is from Savannah on Facebook

    4-1 Thorns

    Smith (Unassisted)
    Smith (Horan)
    Weaver (Kling)
    Dunn (Unassisted)
    Huerta (King)

    First yellow to Horan

    A few Thorns replacing the postgame reporter and ask Mark tough questions jokingly about his future job and why he’s abandoning the team. Edie dances behind him while holding a sign that says “stay”.

  6. This prediction is from Dean on Facebook

    I’m going Thorns 3 to 0.

    I will go Weaver, Charley, and Dunn. Let’s do this!

  7. 2-0 Thorns keep their home fortress strong and Tacoma continue to be able to direct their shots on goal.

    Weaver (Smith)
    Charley (Horan)

    First yellow Weatherholt.

    Red card Barnes.

    Charley does a backflip as her goal celebration in unison with her bench mates.

    1. Looking forward to your analysis on this one – its hard not to find fault with the officiating (as a former ref I rarely cast blame that direction). I was happy to see that she didn’t botch the call that led to the Reign’s first goal – the second one looked a bit more ‘floppy’ to me, but it looked to me like we had numerous players ball watching while Cruz was wide open in the box for the tap-in that led to their 2nd goal. We sit center-line, so I can’t see the details in the box as well as those who sit behind the goals, but a couple of those no-call take-downs in the box (particularly on Horan) were questionable.

  8. We had a prediction from new user PastaBake via email that was sent in on time.
    (Email notifications, which were not working properly, are now fixed.)

    Date: Sun, May 23, 2021, 11:44 AM

    Thorns 2-1 Reign

    Smith (Weaver)
    Sinclair (PK)
    Rapinoe (Unassisted)

    YC Klingenberg

    RC Fishlock (straight red)

    OL’s goalie gets way too enthusiastic and badly clears the ball directly into the Tillamook cheese sign! It shatters, causing a panic, but because this is Portland, everyone is wearing five layers plus tons of Thorns gear so no one was remotely injured. The goalie does not apologize and gets the second red of the game. OL now have to play 9 vs 11. 🙂


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