…this?
As I noted in the preceding post, I was a bit surprised at GM Jeff Agoos’ A to the Q about kits that the Thorns weren’t likely to get a new jersey this season. Surprised because I was under the impression that the Nike kit rotation was every two years, and that since the Doritos kits had been introduced in 2023 we were due for new kits this season.
Well…okay. It turns out we are getting a new primary kit, and this is it. Welcome the “Electric Bloom”;
“The Electric Bloom kit radiates the fearless brilliance of a club rooted in the creative energy of our Portland community. Striking a harmonious balance of grit and grace, this kit features a bold pattern of atomic pink and voltage yellow roses. Electric red and mossy green accents nod to the club’s core brand colors and the moody forests of the Pacific Northwest.”
It’s…well, it sure radiates something.
I’ll admit right upfront; I’m kind of stodgy about soccer kits. I like bold, clean looks (and I’m especially fond of hoops, which is why I liked those 2015 Tire Factory red-white-black kits and didn’t hate the 2018 “tire tracks” secondary). A uniform is, more than anything, a statement. It’s telling your opponent, and reminding yourself, who you are and why you should be respected.
Or feared.
So I like seeing the team in bold jerseys. That’s why I like red, why I believe it is such a good base color; it’s practically the definition of “bold”. It jumps out at you, gets up in your face. It makes a statement. That’s kind of the point.
So for me bold and simple is more effective than subtle and complicated.
I’m not completely hating on “subtle and complicated”, mind you. We’ve had complicated kits that worked; the 2020 Black Rose is the best Thorns shirt ever. I enjoyed the Tattoo shirt (except that we always seemed to play poorly wearing it). The black-and-red “Jenga Blocks” shirt? Fine!
No, it’s not the concept here, it’s the execution.
The bleached-out pastel-y colors. Lime green and pink? Next stop, Margaritaville! The muddled what-the-fucking-is-it jungle print? What is it? A tablecloth from The Alibi. Tiki bar!
Complicated can be fun. But it has to be interesting complicated. It has to pop. It has to be distinctive, eye-catching. It had to make the same statement that an in-your-face red jersey would; “I’m a Portland Thorn, and I’m here to kick your ass.”
These? Just a weird muddled incoherent mess, a strange collision of “busy” and “boring”.
Now I’m wondering…what are we getting for a change strip? Do we get a new secondary, too? And, given this thing…do we want new one?
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