Thorns FC: The dog in the nighttime

Well…

It was a win. Which this squad needed desperately. On the road, which is always difficult. Against a semi-decent opponent, which is better than losing to the fucking Wooden Spoon, so there’s that. So at least the dog didn’t do nothing in the Kentucky nighttime.

Boy howdy was this dog ug-lee, though.

The result (and the play) was better for Portland than the first time these two met back in April and the play was a lot less foul, though there was quite a bit of that, too.

But continuing the theme we’ve been developing the last couple of matches, we saw a lot more of what we’ve been seeing from KenBall even as we saw a lot less Ken.

Defensive derps? Ohhell yes.

The entire backline and the DMs seemed to randomly switch off at times during the match and do stuff like that. Mackenzie Arnold was forced into some pretty heroic saves, such as this one in the 47th minute…

…after her backline had just kinda decided to let Emma Sears stroll onto a Ella Hase cross without a Doritos shirt within shouting distance. Note the tidy triangle of Thorns “defenders” doing…absolutely nothing as Racers show up around them?

Yeah. There was quite a bit of that.

Racing turned over the ball quite a bit, fortunately, because when they didn’t, they could…

…pass through Portland’s first line of “confrontation” with elan, then…

…up the middle…

…and wide to runners behind the backline…

…and then take the ball to the byline…

…and cross in…

…where if the Thorns were lucky someone was there to cut off the cross and clear the ball away.

Or not; that’s how the Lilac mob got their goal; simple throw-in, 22nd minute, Thorns backline fell asleep and let Mallory Weber run onto a through ball in behind and cross to O’Kane for the tap-in.

Mind you, the Racers returned the favor less than ten minutes later.

Off a Kaitlyn Torpey throw-in the Thorns worked the ball across the pitch; Pietra Tordin to Olivia Moultrie to Jessie Fleming, who carried into the box and fired a cannon which Louisville Official Designated Hero Keeper Jordyn Bloomer could only parry high into the air, where Thorns noob Jean Dufour was waiting – unminded by the clueless Racing defenders, alone, cocked like a bullet under a hammer – to head the thing home.

Was it a kinda junky goal? Ohhellyes, though not as junky as the matchwinner, but y’know what…no, wait.

Remember another of this season’s Thornsmemes; sketchy finishing?

Chris Henderson, c’mon down..!

WTF, over? Bad enough that Racing got a three-goal look (xG 3.4!) and almost two-and-a-half-goal’s worth of good shots on goal (PSxG over 2.6!), but the Thorns – bagging only a helter-skelter poacher’s goal and a goofy tally from rookie phenom Own Goal – burked over 3 goals-worth of shots and damn near 3 goals-worth-of-good-chances.

Sigh.

Oh, well! Fuckit. Three points? They all count and the squad needed the hope.

Though I think between us Carlisle-sensei and I summed this dog up best.

Me first, since it’s my column, from the comments on the post-match thread at Stumptown.

(And I want to think that Emma Swett’s “surprised” reaction was sarcasm I just missed for not having been typed in sarc/ font, because otherwise, seriously, girlfriend?

How long have you been watching this squad? It’s not that the influx of goals comes because the defending is poor. That’s the whole fucking problem; this squad defends decently for 89 minutes, then one or more people derps and ships some unlikely crap. They’ve been doing this on and off all fucking season…). Sloppy? We OWN sloppy. That’s what we do.

Then here’s the Perfect Master, from “Week 19 Vibe Rating”:

Hey! I’ll just show us both out.

But we’ll be here all week, folks! Don’t forget to tip your waiter…sorry, your head coach…for his fine work in the hospitality suite!

Short Passes

Here’s all the usual; Sofascore’s “momentum” plot:

That looks about like I thought it would except for the blue over at the left.

The first half hour? Portland looked like, and was, utterly useless. Two something-something efforts; a Tordin right-at-Bloomer shot in the 5th minute (xG 0.05, post-shot xG 0.30, so not discreditable) and a 16th minute Tordin pass to Moultrie that Bloomer came out strong to take.

The Thorns then had a brief flurry between the Dufour goal at 31′ and the 40th minute, but then Racing took the match back over to see it to the halftime interval.

After a scary couple of minutes to open the second half Reilyn Turner was hacked down in the Racing box, Sam Coffey stepped to the spot, and…

…as Carlisle-sensei said; utterly shanked the PK. We’ll talk about this, but Coffey kinda stunk up the pitch last weekend.

Then it was back and forth (but more back than forth) until the own-goal that sealed it, bad luck to Racing who really did earn a point but then soccer is, as we all know, a cruel game, right?

I mean, to lose on that junk when Sears had run completely through Portland’s entire fucking defense in the 76th minute, beaten Arnold to her far post, and seen the ball come right straight back off the inside of the post!?

That’s just fucking mean. Damn you’re cruel, game.

It’s already Thursday morning and I got nothing, so we’re going to have to do without Carlisle-sensei’s fine passing charts this week. I’ll throw them on when they go up.

Turnover and over.

Here’s how things are going;

Opponent – Venue (Result)	Turnovers
Kansas City – Away (L)	38
Angel City – Home (D)	38
North Carolina – Home (D)	32
Utah – Away (W)	25
Seattle – Away (L)	34
Gotham – Home (W)	26
Louisville – Home (D)	16
Orlando – Home (W)	18
San Diego – Away (D)	32
Houston – Away (W)	21
Bay FC – Away (L)	No data
Washington – Home (W)	16
Chicago – Home (W)	22
Washington – Away (L)	27
Seattle – Home (W)	20
Carolina – Away (D)	26
Kansas City – Home (L)	35
Utah – Home (L)	26
Louisville – Away (W)	28

Thirteen in the first half, 12 in the second, while Racing was just as bad, 14 first half, 12 second. Sloppy game.

Four main culprits; Obaze with five turnovers, Fleming with four-and-a-half, and Coffey and Perry each with four turnovers. Nobody else with more than two.

The absolute worst came from a shockingly unlikely source; Sam Coffey, who passed directly to a wide open Ary Borges (who was having a terrific game, but, still…) to let her in directly on Arnold but luckily Borges shanked wide right. Whew.

Press!

Fifteenth match tracking the effect of each side’s press. I counted either a 1) turnover (either from a tackle-for-loss or a mishit forced pass), or a 2) forced retreat or drop-pass that killed off a progressive action, as a pressing “win”. If two players were involved in a press each received a half mark (for attempts) and a half credit for successes.

Both sides opened up busily (and fairly successfully) but then quickly ran out of gas. Portland, in particular, dropped well off the Racing byline early…

… so no forechecking for you!

Match time	Racing presses (wins)(%)	Thorns presses (wins)(%)
0-15′	17(17) (100%)	17(12) (70.5%)
15-30′	15(8) (53.3%)	7(5) (71.4%)
30-45+2′	4(3) (75%)	3(2) (33.3%)
First half	36(28) (77.7%)	27(19) (70.3%)
45-60′	9(6) (66.6%)	8(5) (62.3%)
60-75′	3(3) (100%)	7(5) (71.4%)
75-90+5′	6(3) (50%)	4(3) (75%)
Second half	18(12) (66.6%)	19(11) (57.8%)
Match Total	54(40) (74%)	46(30) (62.5%)

My thoughts:
1) Not sure what happened, but my guess is that it was one of those “no plan survives contact with the enemy” things; the Thorns probably wanted to sit in and play canny in the first quarter hour (given how many defensive derps and crap goals they’ve shipped in that opening period) and keep things tight in back. Racing was hammering Portland deep in their own defensive end for the first half hour.
2) Then the O’Kane goal got Racing to sit back more than a bit, while Portland started to concentrate on chasing; notice how the Racing raw numbers disappear after the half hour. Portland hadn’t been forechecking anyway and abandoned it almost completely as they pushed up tried to find a result. So both sides just sort of stopped pressing.
3) On the “defensive” side Fleming tried hardest – eleven presses – but seldom succeeded (winning only 5). The effort beyond that was spread around; Coffey (7 presses, 5 wins) Turner (6 and 5), Moultrie (5 and 3), and Tordin (won all 3).
4) Trying to go forward two Thorns were pounded by Louisville’s press; Tordin (pressed 9 times, lost them all) and Moultrie (11 presses, 9 losses). In midfield Coffey lost all four of hers, Fleming lost four of five.
5) The slipperiest Thorns were the backline – Obaze won all three challenges, and Reyes half of her six. Several were hard to catch; Dufour was pressed only twice and won one of them, and Alidou won one of her two.

Here’s the running tally:

Match (Result)	Opponent Press (Success)	Thorns Press (Success)
Utah Away (W)	28/12 (42.8%)	27/15 (55.5%)
Seattle Away (L)	32/23 (71.8%)	21/15 (71.4%)
Gotham Home (W)	28/20 (71.4%)	19(15) (78.9%)
Louisville Home (D)	34/25 (73.5%)	14/8 (57.1%)
Orlando Home (W)	28/17 (60.7%)	43/24 (55.8%)
San Diego Away (D)	18/18 (100%)	100/36 (36%)
Houston Away (W)	27/17 (62.9%)	42/23 (54.7%)
Bay FC Away (L)	No data	No data
Washington Home (W)	31(15) (48.3%)	61(48) (78.6%)
Chicago Home (W)	31(21) (67.7%)	51(39) (76.4%)
Washington Away (L)	18(17) (94.4%)	25(12) (48%)
Seattle Home (W)	51(27) (52.8%)	42(33) (78.5%)
Carolina Away (D)	47(26) (55.3%)	59(39) (66.1%)
Kansas City Home (L)	43(23) (53.4%)	50(32) (64%)
Utah Home (L)	44(28) (63.6%)	64(29) (45.3%)
Louisville Away (W)	54(40) (74%)	46(30) (62.5%)

Corner Kicks

Two, all long, one in each half

Time	Taker	Short/Long?	Result
39′	Moultrie	Long	Cleared, recycled, but a Portland foul turned over
72′	Moultrie	Long	Skipped over the heads and out wide. Recycled, but came to nothing.

Nothing.

Player Ratings and Comments

Tordin (87′ – +4/-1 : +4/-0 : +8/-1) This must have been frustrating as all hell for Tordin and, indeed, for all the Thorns forwards. In a system that doesn’t really reward pace and organized, incisive attack almost all of them put together something to show for their work. Tordin’s was a hell of a good left-footer in the 55th minute (xG 0.13, PSxg 0.19) along with hard grinding defensive work tracking back.

As I think I’ve mentioned; the problem here is 64% system, 25% skillset/role fit, and maybe about 11% individual effort/form. Tordin suffers from the same problems as everyone else in the squad.

Daiane (3′ – no rating)

Turner (93′ – +5/-2 : +7/-1 : +12/-3) Similar match for Turner; the chance was in the 74th (xG 1.0, PSxG 0.56) that Bloomer stonewalled (as she had all match, so no shame). All the usual atta-Thorns for her usual attacking.

This, though?

That’s not smart play or good defending or much of anything but a straight red and a PK, and you and your club were damn lucky that CR Gerry Flores had completely ingested his whistle by that point.

Sugita (2′? – no rating)

Dufour (64′ – +5/-0 : +3/-0 : +8/-0) I’m less inclined to swoon over the goal (her stonk in the Utah loss was terrific. This? Well finished but easy-peasy and appallingly defended). Let’s see if this “scoring every match” thing becomes a habit, though.

Alidou (26′ – +7/-1) Damn good shift. Like all KenBall forwards, Alidou has to do way too much freelancing since the patterns and triangles and set plays aren’t there for them. But Alidou is a bit shifty, so sometimes that works for her.

Oh, and speaking of shifty, this…

That’s a bit of Bev Yanez training-ground trickery. Sonis and DeMelo set up over the ball. Sonis bluffed the direct free kick to freeze the wall (Fleming, on the left, even jumped a little hop when she did) then slid the square pass to a bolting DeMelo.

It didn’t work because 1) Sonis’ pass was a trifle overcooked and 2) DeMelo’s first touch was heavy and the ball ran away for Olivia Moultrie – she’s the Thorn on the front of the conga line – was able to clear it away.

But, c’mon, Ken? How come our squad can’t do cool tricks like that? Hunh? Too much time vibing on the training ground? Why can’t we have fun set-piece things, too?

Moultrie (+3/-1 : +9/-2 : +12/-3) Good, hard work, but frustratingly little to show for it. Some of that was losing possession under pressure, the other was shooting; the on-target shots were poor quality, the one better shot (in the 55th minute) was well wide.

Moultrie has taken some big steps this season; her defending has much improved, her vision is wider, and her touch a bit surer. She is developing into a role-player; she’s never going to be a Wilson or a Kerr or a Chawinga, a single-handed game-changing force of nature. She needs teammates and a system and a manager with a vision, and I’ll just leave you with that.

Coffey (+2/-1 : +3/-4 : +5/-5) I didn’t think I could write this, but; holy shit, Sam, whatthefuck happened out there?

You’re invisible for three quarters of an hour. Then you lead out the second half with a hideous turnover, and two minutes later you’re handed the ball at the penalty spot and you do…what we saw above. Yike.

Nothing personal, cap’n, but…you got “Ice Cold” Perry right there if all you got’s that weak PK sauce.

Just sayin’.

Otherwise, to paraphrase Lin-Miranda’s Hamilton, you nearly died in a trench while your club had to rely on gettin’ high with the French.

You’re still Sam Coffey, meaning you did lots of the good things you usually do – passing, tackling, intercepting. But this squad counts heavily on you, and that carries a heavy weight. That requires you to be a hero. That’s your job. And heroes can’t fall. That’s also their job.

Sorry, but there it is.

Fleming (+4/-3 : +6/-0 : +10/-3) Lots of people – I was one of them – pissed and moaned about Ken sitting Fleming for Castellanos against Utah. Well, having you starting this one helped to a point; once the opening half hour’s chaos was sorted you helped impose your usual grinding discipline on the midfield. But

You pressed a lot, but weren’t very successful largely not so much because of your individual form but because Louisville was, as so often the case of a KenBall opponent, more mobile, better drilled, and quicker to release and and move to space.

You were surprisingly sloppy passing – FBRef has you at only 73% completion – and while that is a team issue, too, you’re usually better at that than a lot of your teammates.

So like this match in general; did some, enough for the win, but not in the best of style.

Torpey (64′ – +4/-4 : +2/-4 : +6/-8) If you were speedier your positioning wouldn’t be such an issue, and if your anticipation and positioning were better your pace wouldn’t matter.

As it is, you get skinned because you don’t pick up runners, and when you don’t it’s hard for you to recover the ground, so Hase ate your lunch and drank your soda pop and stole all your pogs, that mean girl, and would have torched you worse but for being offside several times.

That said…

McKenzie (26′ – +1/-4) …your replacement was kind of a tire fire; disastrous failure to track Sears’ run in the 71st minute, eaten again up by Hase (can you tell the rascally rabbit was having a hell of a game..?) in the 76th minute. Double yike.

Obaze (+5/-3 : +1/-0 : +6/-3) I think I’ve made pretty clear how badly the Thorns’ defending was periodically curb-stomped, and none of the backs emerges from a back-alley whipping like that unmarked.

That said, Obaze can hold her head up highest, if for no other reason that the huge block on Savannah DeMelo’s point-blank 78th minute shot. So have a rose. Somebody in the backline oughta get one for a road win.

Perry (+3/-2 : +0/-2 : +3/-4) Looked rookie-raw in some moments and, well, okay, is a rookie, so, there. Same problems everyone else had, and as always, when someone fucks, up it’s a fuckup. When the whole unit fucks up?

It’s poor training.

Reyes (+2/-2 : +1/-3 : +3/-5) Kind of the same here; mostly solid, but the occasional “caught upfield” and “slow to recover”. KenBall requires her to push up, but Reyes doesn’t have the wheels to get back down the touchline in a hurry, so. Still the best of the fullbacks

Arnold (+2/-1 : +5/-0 : +7/-2) When your keeper has seven pluses? You’re doing it wrong, defense. Bloomer had more, okay, fine, but still; damn lucky to keep this to a single concession.

Since I know the haters are still all over out there, look…

…Macca’s a damn solid keeper. Okay? Can we agree that Bixby is terrific and has an adorable baby and seems really, really nice without hating on Arnold, okay?

Coach Ken: Well, dude, your club got the road win. So you get the roses, too.

Was that super convincing? Nopenopenope. I think our observer mr. kielbj said it best: “Continuously amazed at how this team can look simultaneously so threatening and so poor all at once.”

Yep. That’s KenBall.

This time everything fell your and your club’s way. That’s fine. You, and they, and we, needed the good thing. So it’s fine, it’s good, to savor it.

Until this weekend, when we have to go to Chicago and the suburban wasteland that is That-Which-Was-Bridgeview.

Chicago is crap; 14 points, 2-9-8, 38GA, the worst in the league. If there’s a team that should lose at home, it’s That-Team-Which-Was-The-Red-Stars.

But Utah was worse crap than they are, and look what happened with them.

So…you got a plan for this?