The Thorns Prediction Game

Matchday 23. Dash – Again

The Reign sneaked out of Portland with an entirely undeserved point on Wednesday, compliments of a referee whose head was not in the game from the start. None of our players predicted a draw but 4-4-2 called the yellow card on Angelina(!) and John Lawes had the most popular tall tale about muzzling a brash francophobe.

[1-1 draw, Weaver, Rapinoe, first yellow = Angelina, no red card.]

p.s Sorry Daniel Stratton, but our rules say a blank entry means unassisted from the run of play. You were so close!

Roses is (permanently?) in the middle-of-the-pack prize spot

Yet again, the Thorns play the Houston Dash – have we played them every third week this year? The Dash are coming off a severe thumping at the feet of maybe-sot-so-terrible-anymore Kansas City. For a change, the weather forecast calls for a perfect evening. The Thorns guarantee a home semifinal with a draw but a win is needed to stay in the Shield race.

[Last meeting: October 6, 2021 at Providence Park, 2-3 Thorns loss.]

How this works:
Add a comment to this post. As your first line, put your predicted result, for example 3-1 Thorns.

In the body of your comment, start with the goals and assists, like so:
Smith (Klingenberg)
Salem (Free kick)
Moultrie (Unassisted)
Daly (PK)

Next, name the first yellow card recipient: Shea Groom
Then a red card. (NOTE: no points awarded for correctly calling a red-card-free match, so take a guess.) Shea Groom with a second yellow for dissent for the first yellow

Make your fun prediction, and give a “thumbs up” to anybody else’s prediction that tickles your fancy: The governor of Texas proclaims that the match must be cancelled because both teams are 100% vaccinated. The attention drawn by this publicity stunt helps the Dash to set an new attendance record.

· Correct score: 5 points
· Correct result (draw/win/loss): 3 points
· Each clean sheet: 2 points
· Each goal-scorer: 1 point
· Each FK/PK/assist/lack of assist: 1 point
· Goal/assist bonus: 1 point
· Player with the first yellow card of the match: 1 point
· A player with a red card: 1 point
· Most liked/most outrageously accurate prediction: 2 points

Some ground rules and explanations/clarifications (the fine print):
Comments must be posted before kickoff, but you can edit or amend an earlier prediction right up to the starting whistle.

Keep your scoreline predictions realistic. No crazy scores just to pad out your odds of getting goals and assists.

The goal/assist bonus is an additional point if you predict the correct scorer and assistant on the same goal, for example, you say Hubly scores from a Boureille assist and that is exactly what happens. P.S. if you say exactly that, and it happens, I will hunt you down and buy you a beer!

Be clear whether you think a goal will be unassisted, assisted, or from a PK/FK. Unassisted = no assist, run of play; Assisted = player who got the assist; PK/FK = not in run of play. For the purposes of this thread, Penalty Kick and Free Kick are the same thing. No entry means unassisted.

The game thread will usually be posted 48 hours before each match.

Richard Hamje
Latest posts by Richard Hamje (see all)

5 thoughts on “The Thorns Prediction Game

  1. 2-1 Thorns

    Smith (unassisted)
    Weaver (Smith)

    Daley (Groom)

    YC: Chapman
    RC: Chapman

    The Thorns play the entire game with their arms inside their jerseys…while this impacts their ability to run, score, scratch their heads in dismay, etc., they receive exactly zero game-changing handball penalties.

  2. 1-2

    Smith (Klingenberg)
    Sinclair (pk)

    Daly (Mewis)

    YC Hanson
    RC Mewis

    The CR calls a handball on Mewis and coach Parsons utterly loses it, goes into a frothing tirade at the officials, and is nearly tossed before he realizes that the penalty call is not against his club this time…

  3. That is fair I know the rules. I also had the goal at the North end for her double bird celebration and that didn’t come to pass either. I didn’t call PK/FK I don’t get those points.

    As for this game in Houston I am going to go on classic NWSL form for the whole league this season and say we stumble at this hurdle as well. We are unable to claim the Shield happy that the Reign loss means we could still claim it in front of the home crowd Halloween weekend.


    Smith (Horan)
    Kuikka (Rocky)
    Groom PK

    YC Menges
    RC Mark Parsons

    Warning do not read below if squeamish, or otherwise affected strongly by severely traumatic events, concussion warning. Read at your own risk.

    For the third game in a row a Thorn is called for a handball in the box this time it come off the head of Menges but the CR points to the spot anyway unmoved by any of the protests. The CR ends up having to remove Mark from the sidelines for his antics after the CR does not allow the medical team to assist Menges and her head wound. The CR is heard on a live microphone stating “It is a merely a flesh wound.” The CR also gives Megnes a yellow for delay of game when she won’t get up off the ground so the PK can be taken. Menges is concussed and does not realize where she is, She ends up vomiting on the field. This causes both teams to demand the ref let the medical team on. The CR still holds them off and has teammates take Menges right over the touch line and then indicates the medical staff to tend to her off the pitch.

    As a direct result of the handling of this game, the CR is given the role of the CR for the Nov 20th final in Orlando, the league announces they are moving it again to Orlando on Oct 20th 1 month before the game. Did I go to dark? I might have. This was supposed to be fun lols right? This just seems like inevitable conclusion where the league is headed for me. Sorry everyone.

  4. Thorns 3-2 Dash

    Smith (Sinclair)
    Weaver (Kuikka)
    Horan (Klingenberg)

    Daly (PK)
    Groom Visalli)

    YC: S Schmidt
    RC: Chapman

    Midway through the second half, just after the Thorns’ go ahead goal, the hackers of the North Korean government take out the Texas power grid, and the lights go out just as it is getting dark. It turns out that BBVA has backup generators, but during the delay in getting them online the game proceeds by the light of three thousand cell phones and Morgan Weaver’s smile.


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.