The Thorns Prediction Game

Matchday 18. Red Stars at night, Thorns delight.

For the first time, the Thorns won in Cary! The Courage were the sloppier of the two teams, as most of the “big stars” on the pitch had poor outings. Sophia Smith did not look the gift horse in the mouth and buried the deciding goal.

Two players predicted a 1-0 Thorns win with Constant Weeder also adding the yellow card while Savannah S had the goal-scorer. John Lawes got the nod for his tale of infected players with bell-ringing escorts.

[1-0 win. Smith from Sinclair. First yellow card to Mathias, no red.]

Roses is still in the middle-of-the-pack prize spot

Next up is Chicago at 5:00pm PDT on Saturday, September 25, broadcast on Paramount+ in the USA, Twitch elsewhere. The Red Stars have been up and down this season, with their most recent match a 1-1 draw in Houston. Malory Pugh has been the bright spot in an otherwise toothless attack. Their defense has tightened considerably; after conceding 16 goals in the first 8 games, they have let in only ten since.

[Last meeting: May 16, 2021 home opener at Providence Park, 5-0 Thorns win.]

How this works:
Add a comment to this post. As your first line, put your predicted result, for example 3-1 Thorns.

In the body of your comment, start with the goals and assists, like so:
Smith (Klingenberg)
Salem (Free kick)
Moultrie (Unassisted)
Pugh (PK)

Next, name the first yellow card recipient: Sarah Gorden
Then a red card. (NOTE: no points awarded for correctly calling a red-card-free match, so take a guess.) Cassie Miller for handling the ball outside the box.

Make your fun prediction, and give a “thumbs up” to anybody else’s prediction that tickles your fancy: It’s a chilly day. Mark Parsons is sent to the locker room to change out of the hoodie he attempted to wear on the sidelines. An obscure NWSL rule allows only one behoodied coach per match and the home team gets first dibs.

· Correct score: 5 points
· Correct result (draw/win/loss): 3 points
· Each clean sheet: 2 points
· Each goal-scorer: 1 point
· Each FK/PK/assist/lack of assist: 1 point
· Goal/assist bonus: 1 point
· Player with the first yellow card of the match: 1 point
· A player with a red card: 1 point
· Most liked/most outrageously accurate prediction: 2 points

Some ground rules and explanations/clarifications (the fine print):
Comments must be posted before kickoff, but you can edit or amend an earlier prediction right up to the starting whistle.

Keep your scoreline predictions realistic. No crazy scores just to pad out your odds of getting goals and assists.

The goal/assist bonus is an additional point if you predict the correct scorer and assistant on the same goal, for example, you say Hubly scores from a Boureille assist and that is exactly what happens. P.S. if you say exactly that, and it happens, I will hunt you down and buy you a beer!

Be clear whether you think a goal will be unassisted, assisted, or from a PK/FK. Unassisted = no assist, run of play; Assisted = player who got the assist; PK/FK = not in run of play. For the purposes of this thread, Penalty Kick and Free Kick are the same thing. No entry means unassisted.

The game thread will usually be posted 48 hours before each match.

Have fun, tell your friends, let me know if you have any questions or if I screw up your score.

Richard Hamje
Latest posts by Richard Hamje (see all)

9 thoughts on “The Thorns Prediction Game

  1. 0-3

    Sinclair PK
    Kuikka (Moultrie)

    Firat YC Salem
    RC Brian

    The bus fire is used as our next Ice Bear moment as the locker room gets pumped up and leaves the tunnel pregame with sparklers lighting them on the sidelines. When they return to PP we raise a Tifo with a bus burning as the fuel for the Bonfire we have lit on the Tifo with OL on the top.

  2. 0-2

    Smith (Sinclair)
    Rodriguez (Klingenberg)

    YC: Gautrat
    RC: Menges

    On the way to the match a desperate Chicago supporter plants a firebomb on the Thorns’ team bus and…wait, what? Oh, c’mon!


    After the final whistle Klingenberg goes to swap shirts with her opposite number Krueger and casually asks her what the whole squiggly line thing on the “Elevated” shirt means. Krueger admits she straight-up doesn’t know, and a growing clump of players forms around them, all loudly guessing, disputing, and trying to figure out what the heck the patterns mean and what goes where. The teams, caught up, ignore the cool-downs and post-match pressers; finally the feed cuts away with both squads arguing vociferously about the business…

  3. Thorns 2-0 Red Stars

    Weaver (Smith)

    YC: Watt
    RC: Doniak

    The bus fire burns up all the Thorns’ road uniforms so, good hosts that they are, they Red Stars offer the use of their road kits for the match. There is a great try-on session, and when the teams take the field, we find that Horan is identified by her shirt as Woldmoe, Weaver becomes Sharples, and Klingenberg is wearing Colaprico’s shirt. Aside from confusing the livestream announcers, this presents no serious problems until Watt earns a yellow for a professional foul on Smith (wearing Watt’s #2), and there is a prolonged delay while the ref figures out who to show the card to and how to book it:

    Ref [to Smith]: “Watt?”
    Smith: “What?”
    Ref: “You’re Watt?”
    Smith [pointing]: “No that’s Watt.”
    Ref: “Now don’t get smart with me, I know what’s what.”

  4. 3-0 Thorns

    Smith (Kling)
    Horan (Salem)
    Sinc (pk)

    YC: Weaver
    RC: Parsons

    After the game Captain Sinc suddenly retires from the sport to become a full-time TikTokker, much to the delight of our sponsors…

  5. Thorns 3-1 Red Stars

    Salem (unassisted)
    Smith (Weaver)
    Charley (Klingenberg)

    Gautrat (Watt)

    YC: Pugh
    RC: St. Georges

    The Thorns celebrate their victory with bus-inspired bonfire outside the stadium. They are having a good time, roasting S’Mores, but they eventually realize that they don’t have a bus to take them back to the hotel. The Red Stars agree to give them all rides, but first they bargain for three S’Mores each.

  6. Thorns 2 – 0 Chicago

    Smith (Weaver)
    Charley (Sinclair)

    YC: St. Georges

    The ref is unabashedly terrible – misses all kinds of calls. Nevertheless, the teams don’t take advantage, don’t hurt each other with nasty tackles, and the field isn’t littered with injured players becaue…. neither team is Orlando.


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