The Thorns Prediction Game

Matchday 15: Gotham Returns

A very late goal by Morgan Weaver gave the Thorns a 1-0 win over Olympic Lyon, and the associated “Best-club-in-the-world (haha)” WICC trophy. Two of our prediction game players had a Thorns win and Weaver goal. Constant Weeder took honors with a wild prediction which somewhat resembled the actual game-winning goal sequence.

[1-0 win: Weaver from Westphal. First yellow = Malard, no red]

Wednesday sees Gotham FC visiting Providence Park after coming off a 3-2 loss at Tacoma. They undoubtedly missed Midge Purce’s energy, and Vivienne Viens’ scoring. With their coach, Freya Coombes, now leaving for ACFC, will they try to win one for the Gipper, or hang their heads?

[Last meeting: July 11, 2021 at Providence Park, 0-0 draw.]

How this works:
Add a comment to this post. As your first line, put your predicted result, for example 3-1 Thorns.

In the body of your comment, start with the goals and assists, like so:
Smith (Klingenberg)
Salem (Free kick)
Moultrie (Unassisted)
Lloyd (PK)

Next, name the first yellow card recipient: Allie Long
Then a red card. (NOTE: no points awarded for correctly calling a red-card-free match, so take a guess.) McCall Zerboni for dragging down Weaver as both Smith and Weaver were going in on goal alone. Sheriden saves the PK.

Make your fun prediction, and give a “thumbs up” to anybody else’s prediction that tickles your fancy: The TV announcers make so many Batman puns that DC Comics sues Paramount+ for copyright violation.

· Correct score: 5 points
· Correct result (draw/win/loss): 3 points
· Each clean sheet: 2 points
· Each goal-scorer: 1 point
· Each FK/PK/assist/lack of assist: 1 point
· Goal/assist bonus: 1 point
· Player with the first yellow card of the match: 1 point
· A player with a red card: 1 point
· Most liked/most outrageously accurate prediction: 2 points

Some ground rules and explanations/clarifications (the fine print):
Comments must be posted before kickoff, but you can edit or amend an earlier prediction right up to the starting whistle.

Keep your scoreline predictions realistic. No crazy scores just to pad out your odds of getting goals and assists.

The goal/assist bonus is an additional point if you predict the correct scorer and assistant on the same goal, for example, you say Hubly scores from a Boureille assist and that is exactly what happens. P.S. if you say exactly that, and it happens, I will hunt you down and buy you a beer!

Be clear whether you think a goal will be unassisted, assisted, or from a PK/FK. Unassisted = no assist, run of play; Assisted = player who got the assist; PK/FK = not in run of play. For the purposes of this thread, Penalty Kick and Free Kick are the same thing. No entry means unassisted.

The game thread will usually be posted 48 hours before each match.

Have fun, tell your friends, let me know if you have any questions or if I screw up your score.

Richard Hamje
Latest posts by Richard Hamje (see all)

8 thoughts on “The Thorns Prediction Game

  1. Thorns 2-1 Gotham

    Lloyd (Zerboni)
    Weaver (Moultrie)
    Dunn (Horan)

    YC: Zerboni
    RC: Moultrie

    Moultrie, who sets a new “Youngest NWSL player to ____” record every game she plays, becomes the youngest NWSL player to earn two yellows in one game. First yellow comes from keeping her phone out to try to get a selfie with Lloyd before she retires. The second yellow occurs while she is being body-slammed by Zerboni, from hugging onto Lloyd. Moultrie claims she did this to stop herself from falling, but even the ref could see from her face that she’s a major Lloyd stan.

  2. 1-0

    Smith (rocky)

    YC Moultrie
    RC Parsons

    Moultrie loses the ball in the midfield and pulls on her opponents shirt to stop the attack picking up a yellow. This was the second of such fouls the first seeing a DC Comics city player committing the foul only getting a free kick called, no card.

    Parson’s is livid and is gesticulating wildly until an arm contacts with the 4th official. Parsons is asked to leave the field as a result. Parsons takes two water bottles and chucks them down the tunnel as he leaves. The crowd pulls out an old one, I am blind and deaf I want to be a ref.

  3. Argh! That’s what I get for not playing during the Cup break! Okay, gotta get back into the fray.

    2-nil Portland

    Smith (Klingenberg)
    Horan (Kuikka)

    YC: Horan
    RC: Long

    Several times during the first half a woman shrouded in a veil approaches the Thorns’ bench attempting to get close to the coaching staff, but each time backs off when passers-by approach. Finally early in the second half she succeeds, and has barely begun what appears to be an impassioned discussion with assistant coach Angerer when Coach Parsons becomes aware of the interaction.

    He bolts over to the bench and whips off the veil, revealing Yael Averbuch West. A heated three-way discussion follows before the PP security arrives to remove West, who is hauled off shouting “They did it to me first! Goddamn it! Turnabout is fair play!”

  4. 3-0 Thorns

    Charley (Kuikka)
    Sinc (pk)
    Horan (unassisted)

    YC: Long
    RC: Long

    Allie Long, sitting on a yellow for kicking Kling in the head, complains enough to earn a 2nd yellow from center ref Mark Allatin. However, much to the surprise of everyone, she smiles evilly at him when shown the red as if to say “I broke you”, causing him to immediately collapse into a pile of babbling insanity and has to be carried off the field.

  5. Thorns 2-0 Gotham

    Weaver (Klingenberg)

    YC: Zerboni
    RC: Cudjoe

    I got nothing to compete with Averbuch as coach-poacher.

  6. Ah, mediocrity. Forgetting to predict during the WICC got me right back in the middle of the pack. I rather like it here.

    1-Thorns to 0 Gotham

    YC – long
    RC – Zerboni

    All the blonde attitude generated by Horan, Long, Zerboni results in a swirling dust cloud that wipes out the view of the pitch for 5 minutes. No one watching the broadcast notices because the camera work is so bad in general, but everyone in the stands swears it happened.


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