The Thorns Prediction Game

Matchday 10: Pride Before the Fall

Gotham visited and in spite of the Thorns having three one-on-ones with the keeper, a hit post, a hit crossbar, and two saves off the line – in spite of all that scoring potential there was no end product.. A chance to be firmly in first place was spurned. But our prediction game players did better – every player bagged two points. The only player not predicting a clean sheet was Pastabake who got their two points for a wild prediction of a tifo taunt.

[0-0 draw: First yellow = Lewandowski, no red]

Here is our table after the Gotham match (PastaBake remains in the middle-of-the-pack award position):

The Orlando Pride visit on Sunday, July 18, at 7:30 pm, shown on Twitch. On Friday the 9th the kitties nearly coughed up a hairball, barely drawing Louisville in Orlando with a stoppage time equalizer. The Pride has a long record of futility at Providence Park, losing all but one match here. This time they have seven starters gone for the Olympics.

How this works:
Add a comment to this post. As your first line, put your predicted result, for example 3-1 Thorns.

In the body of your comment, start with the goals and assists, like so:
Charley (Klingenberg)
Salem (Free kick)
Weaver (Unassisted)
Leroux (PK)

Next, name the first yellow card recipient: Ali Krieger
Then a red card. (NOTE: no points awarded for correctly calling a red-card-free match, so take a guess.) Jonsdottir with two yellows, both for dissent.

Make your fun prediction, and give a “thumbs up” to anybody else’s prediction that tickles your fancy: The Thorns front office “accidentally” plays the Mickey Mouse Club theme song instead of the nation anthem.

· Correct score: 5 points
· Correct result (draw/win/loss): 3 points
· Each clean sheet: 2 points
· Each goal-scorer: 1 point
· Each FK/PK/assist/lack of assist: 1 point
· Goal/assist bonus: 1 point
· Player with the first yellow card of the match: 1 point
· A player with a red card: 1 point
· Most liked/most outrageously accurate prediction: 2 points

Some ground rules and explanations/clarifications (the fine print):
Comments must be posted before kickoff, but you can edit or amend an earlier prediction right up to the starting whistle.

Keep your scoreline predictions realistic. No crazy scores just to pad out your odds of getting goals and assists.

The goal/assist bonus is an additional point if you predict the correct scorer and assistant on the same goal, for example, you say Hubly scores from a Boureille assist and that is exactly what happens. P.S. if you say exactly that, and it happens, I will hunt you down and buy you a beer!

Be clear whether you think a goal will be unassisted, assisted, or from a PK/FK. Unassisted = no assist, run of play; Assisted = player who got the assist; PK/FK = not in run of play. For the purposes of this thread, Penalty Kick and Free Kick are the same thing. No entry means unassisted.

The game thread will usually be posted 48 hours before each match.

Have fun, tell your friends, let me know if you have any questions or if I screw up your score.

Richard Hamje
Latest posts by Richard Hamje (see all)

8 thoughts on “The Thorns Prediction Game

  1. 2-0 Thorns

    Charley (Weaver)
    Weaver (Salem)

    YC: Petersen
    RC: Harris

    Cassius (Syd’s son) earns his first official red card for field encroachment.

  2. Thorns 3 – 2 Orlando

    Smith (Moultrie)
    Charley (Weaver)
    Everett (Klingenberg)

    Leroux (Krieger)
    Kim (Kornieck)

    YC: Leroux
    RC: Harris

    The Thorn’s dogs (Ferguson, Charlie, Luna, and Moose) and Dunn’s chickens get a Sunset Audi box suite. Late in the game, a soccer ball flies into the stands and scares the dogs, causing them to start barking very loudly. The barking terrifies one of Dunn’s chickens, who flies out of the box suite and gets a red card after landing on the field.

  3. Portland 1-nil

    Smith (Weaver)

    YC: Boureille
    RC: Bixby

    Sunday evening Portland’s tactical box is occupied by Nadine Angerer, because Mark Parsons is in hiding after getting caught by the Dunn family sneaking into the backyard to kidnap one of Crystal Dunn’s chickens to sacrifice to Manodedios, the Soccer God of Goals.

  4. Thorns 3-1 Pride

    Weaver (Everett)
    Charley (Klingenberg)
    Rodriguez (Boureille)

    Kornieck (Petersen)

    YC: Petersen
    RC: Dougherty-Howard

    Wild prediction: a heavily researched three-volume foodie book names Portland the best pizza city in America.

    1. Hit Post too soon.
      Complete wild prediction: a heavily researched three-volume foodie book names Portland the best pizza city in America. Sizzle Pie, whose pizza is served at Providence Park, appears on their list of best pizza places in Portland.

  5. 2 Thorns – 1 Orlando

    Weaver (Charlie)
    Charlie (Weaver)

    YC – Korneick
    RC – Pressley

    The intoxicatingly cheesy scent of Sizzle Pie, the best pizza in the U.S., wafts gently over the field. Every single Orlando player leaves the pitch in search of dinner. Left with a completely open goal in front of them, the entire Thorns team has a crack at scoring. Of the100 shots they have time to make, 98 of them miss completely – hit the post, fly to the left and right, and some manage to find Harris as she walks up Burnside. Luckily, 2 kicks ricochet off of the crowd and somehow manage to make it into Orlando’s goal. (Because really, at this point, actually SCORING seems like a wild and crazy prediction).

  6. 2-1 Thorns win

    Charley (Rocky)
    Weaver (kling) set piece


    YC Turner
    RC Turner.

    At Half time Damien Lillard is shown on the jumbotron as having one of the suite boxes. The crowd cheers for him in a good will effort to try and keep him from leaving.

  7. I cannot remember when I have been more disappointed to get the correct score correct. Stoppage time giveaway. At least we still walked away with the win to push us top of the table. Still I did get correct result and correct score. I just whiffed on everything else, 8 points is better than nothing. The game did get very tense near the end. I hope weaver isn’t out for to long. On crutches and a lot of ice not great.


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