The Thorns Prediction Game

Matchday 9: The Dark Knight Falls

The “depleted’ Thorns showed up in Louisville looking like giant killers. They gave Racing a comprehensive and unexpected beating. Two of our players predicted a clean sheet win, Savannah S took the top honors by also picking their namesake to get the first yellow. The wild prediction went to Constant Weeder’s tale of Dutch Bros doping.

[2-0 Thorns: Rodriguez unassisted, Charley from Menges. First yellow = McCaskill, no red]

Here is our table after the Racing match (PastaBake is in the middle-of-the-pack award position):

Gotham returns. Opening at noon on July 11, 2021. At a stadium near you.

They will not have strikers Carli Lloyd and Evelyne Viens, or starting keeper Kailen Sheridan. Their #2 keeper, DiDi Haracic, left with an eye injury midway through their Saturday match vs. KC. Starting centerback Mandy Freeman and forward Paige Monaghan were not in the 18 for the Pride Night game.

How this works:
Add a comment to this post. As your first line, put your predicted result, for example 3-1 Thorns.

In the body of your comment, start with the goals and assists, like so:
Charley (Klingenberg)
Salem (Free kick)
Weaver (Unassisted)
Purce (PK)

Next, name the first yellow card recipient: McCall Zerboni who leaves a foot in on Menges for old times sake.
Then a red card. (NOTE: no points awarded for correctly calling a red-card-free match, so take a guess.) Allie Long for clumsily tackling the center ref.

Make your fun prediction, and give a “thumbs up” to anybody else’s prediction that tickles your fancy:Postgame, Providence Park’s playlist is Gotham themed from “Who You Gonna Call?” to Sinatra’s “New York, New York”.

· Correct score: 5 points
· Correct result (draw/win/loss): 3 points
· Each clean sheet: 2 points
· Each goal-scorer: 1 point
· Each FK/PK/assist/lack of assist: 1 point
· Goal/assist bonus: 1 point
· Player with the first yellow card of the match: 1 point
· A player with a red card: 1 point
· Most liked/most outrageously accurate prediction: 2 points

Some ground rules and explanations/clarifications (the fine print):
Comments must be posted before kickoff, but you can edit or amend an earlier prediction right up to the starting whistle.

Keep your scoreline predictions realistic. No crazy scores just to pad out your odds of getting goals and assists.

The goal/assist bonus is an additional point if you predict the correct scorer and assistant on the same goal, for example, you say Hubly scores from a Boureille assist and that is exactly what happens. P.S. if you say exactly that, and it happens, I will hunt you down and buy you a beer!

Be clear whether you think a goal will be unassisted, assisted, or from a PK/FK. Unassisted = no assist, run of play; Assisted = player who got the assist; PK/FK = not in run of play. For the purposes of this thread, Penalty Kick and Free Kick are the same thing. No entry means unassisted.

The game thread will usually be posted 48 hours before each match.

Have fun, tell your friends, let me know if you have any questions or if I screw up your score.

Richard Hamje
Latest posts by Richard Hamje (see all)

9 thoughts on “The Thorns Prediction Game

  1. 1-0

    Smith (Kuika)

    Long YC
    Long RC

    We have a repeat 1-0. Gotham keep up their tradition of not letting many goals but also not scoring many goals.

    In recognition of opening up to full fans, with no restrictions, or vaccination checks etc.The Governor comes out and is the pregame hype. Brown starts the hype by using a t-shirt cannon and launching them into the stands for strangers to fight over like the awful sports celebrations of the pre-covid days.

  2. Yeah, I kinda gotta go with tradition:

    1-nil Portland

    Rodriguez (Weaver)

    YC: Long
    RC: Long (yep, she’s a caution..!)

    Tired of getting beat 1-nil, Allie Long and McCall Zerboni simply stop playing soccer in the 83rd minute, march to the center circle, and announce that the event is now the “Bad Girls Fight Club” and that to win an opponent will have to defeat them.

    The match ends with Zerboni decisioned after three rounds against Rodriguez who owns up to her nickname “Rocky”, and Long straight out coldcocked by Klingenberg, who stands over her opponent like Ali over Liston, nursing her knuckles and remarking “I’ve waited a loooooong time to do that…”

  3. 2-0 Thorns

    Smith (Weaver)
    Weaver (Rocky)

    YC: Cudjoe
    RC: Cudjoe

    Sophia Smith starts! On her return from scoring in the first five minutes she accidentally trips over a butterfly, resulting in a carry-off by stretcher. She misses the next four games.

  4. Washington suddenly comes to life and stones The Damned Courage behind a Hatch brace. Portland can vault back on top of table with a win tomorrow.

    1. Indeed we could…have…sigh.

      22+(the board at PP always seems to undercount the shot stat) shots…what’s 0/22 again?

  5. 1-1

    Charley (Kling)
    Purce (Dydasco)

    Yellow: R. Rodriguez
    Red: Long

    Bella Bixby knocks out so many Gotham players we start calling her Delta Variant, to mixed results. Also, she clocks Long so hard the “w” falls off of NWSL.

  6. Thorns 2-0 Gotham

    Everett (Klingenberg)
    Weaver (Ryan)

    YC: Cudjoe
    RC: Zerboni

    The Thorns are ahead 1-0 in the 80th minute when Thiney brings Bixby off her line with a run at the north goal, but then passes to Purce who chips a shot on target. Just before crossing the line, the ball hits the invisible wall of the Riveters’ collective will and drops to the ground where Pogarch is able to clear it. (Some say Po outran the ball and saved it off the line, but that’s just not plausible.)


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