The Thorns Prediction Game

Matchday 8: Will We See Nadim?

The Paramount+ announcers reminded us every minute that the matchup of the two best teams in the league was really even. Except that it wasn’t actually very close, was it? For the third match in a row, the best wild predictor on our team (4-4-2) scored two points, this time for a tale of mislabeled children. But the big “winner” was John Lawes who predicted the exact result and a Lynn Williams goal! Unlike last time, nobody got the yellow card recipient – why would you pick a Thorn who had not played a minute when human-bulldozer Merritt Mathias is on the pitch?

Here is our table after the NCC match:

We next face Racing Louisville, this time at their place. A lot has changed since we beat them 3-0. Ebony Salmon has arrived from Bristol City and scored the game-winning goal in both of her outings. Nadia Nadim is on her way from Paris and could show up in the purple fleur-de-lis any time now. Maybe July 3? Watch on Paramount + at 4:30pm to find out.

How this works:
Add a comment to this post. As your first line, put your predicted result, for example 3-1 Thorns.

In the body of your comment, start with the goals and assists, like so:
Charley (Klingenberg)
Salem (Free kick)
Weaver (Unassisted)
Ecic (PK)

Next, name the first yellow card recipient: Nagasato for swearing in Japanese.
Then a red card. (NOTE: no points awarded for correctly calling a red-card-free match, so take a guess.) Michelle Betos for a clumsy tackle one-on-one with Weaver.

Make your fun prediction, and give a “thumbs up” to anybody else’s prediction that tickles your fancy: Louisville has a purple wiffle ball promotion. When Betos is shown the red, the fans are upset and try to throw the balls on to the pitch. Almost none of them make it out of the stands.

Scoring:
· Correct score: 5 points
· Correct result (draw/win/loss): 3 points
· Each clean sheet: 2 points
· Each goal-scorer: 1 point
· Each FK/PK/assist/lack of assist: 1 point
· Goal/assist bonus: 1 point
· Player with the first yellow card of the match: 1 point
· A player with a red card: 1 point
· Most liked/most outrageously accurate prediction: 2 points

Some ground rules and explanations/clarifications (the fine print):
Comments must be posted before kickoff, but you can edit or amend an earlier prediction right up to the starting whistle.

Keep your scoreline predictions realistic. No crazy scores just to pad out your odds of getting goals and assists.

The goal/assist bonus is an additional point if you predict the correct scorer and assistant on the same goal, for example, you say Hubly scores from a Boureille assist and that is exactly what happens. P.S. if you say exactly that, and it happens, I will hunt you down and buy you a beer!

Be clear whether you think a goal will be unassisted, assisted, or from a PK/FK. Unassisted = no assist, run of play; Assisted = player who got the assist; PK/FK = not in run of play. For the purposes of this thread, Penalty Kick and Free Kick are the same thing. No entry means unassisted.

The game thread will usually be posted 48 hours before each match.

Have fun, tell your friends, let me know if you have any questions or if I screw up your score.

Richard Hamje
Latest posts by Richard Hamje (see all)

8 thoughts on “The Thorns Prediction Game

  1. 2-1 Thorns

    Smith (Weaver)
    Charley (Kling)

    Salmon (Kizer)

    YC: McCaskill
    RC: McCaskill

    It’s a rough game, with Savanna mowing down Thorns with reckless abandon. Never fear, Dr. Nadim is in the house! Between subbing in at the 60th minute and the point where Tank McCaskill is finally tossed out Nadia manages to set two broken bones and diagnose Emily Fox with Familial Hypercholesterolemia (and prescribe a statin)… all the while completely disrupting our midfield and creating the opportunity that leads to the Salmon/Kizer goal. After the game Parsons begs her to come back to the Thorns, offering her the first ever #9 / medical staff dual role in the history of the game.

    2
  2. I’m going to be optimistic and say we only lose 1-0

    Salmon (Ekic)

    YC: Nagasato
    RC: Ryan

    I got nothin’. I just want to be wrong and see more from this squad tomorrow than I saw in Cary.

    1
  3. I’m going to be overly optimistic, and hope the reserves’ heads will be entirely in the game. (And that they’ve drunk plenty of performance-enhancing coffee–see below.)

    Thorns 3-2 Racing

    Weaver (Westphal)
    Smith (Kuikka)
    Everett (Ryan)
    Salmon (McCaskill)
    Ekic (Nagasato)

    YC: Pogarch
    RC: Baucom

    Concerned about possible use of performance enhancing drugs, the NWSL engages the US Anti-Doping Agency to assess the situation. The entire Racing and Thorns rosters are suspended after tests show they have used caffeine in the past month.

    2
  4. From Facebook:

    Savannah S.

    3-0 Thorns
    Smith (Moultrie)
    Smith (Moultrie)
    Weaver (Moultrie)
    First YC: McCaskill

    0
  5. Thorns 3-1 Racing

    Smith (Charley)
    Ryan (Kling)
    Everett (Kuikka)
    Kizer (Nagasato)

    YC: Moultrie
    RC: McCaskill

    Newly signed teen-phenom Olivia Moultrie is subbed on late in the game. As she enters the game, her youthful enthusiasm gets the better of her and she gets up in the face of every Racing player yelling “I’m 15 and you’re old-teen!”

    1
  6. 3-0

    Kuika (Weaver)
    Hubly (Kling)
    Everett

    YC Bourielle
    RC Bixby

    Moultrie celebrates the first team goal by being the top part of the pyramid the substitute players make in celebration. The team keeps up the tradition this season of players scoring their first goals of the year.

    I am looking for a repeat of the home game, and the continuation of our scoring getting spread around to everyone on the team and not very many repeats.

    1

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