The Thorns Prediction Game

Matchday 6: KC Comes Calling

As expected, Racing Louisville got squashed on June 5. Not only were they outmatched, they endured a travel nightmare to even get here. Better days are surely ahead for them, but it wasn’t this day. Roses took the honors in our game, getting the exact score and both the Horan goal and assist. For the second week, 4-4-2 got the wild prediction bonus, this time for a tale of long legs and no pants.

Here is our table after the Louisville match:

After the long FIFA break, we’re back with a home game on June 20 at 1:00pm. The game will be shown on broadcast CBS. Kansas City makes their first visit to Portland in their new, very loud, colors. The only winless team in the league is likely to stay that way, but you never know…

How this works:
Add a comment to this post. As your first line, put your predicted result, for example 3-1 Thorns.

In the body of your comment, start with the goals and assists, like so:
Charley (Klingenberg)
Horan (Free kick)
Weaver (Unassisted)
A-Rod (PK)

Next, name the first yellow card recipient: Liz Ball, for old times sake.
Then reds, if any. (NOTE: no points awarded for correctly calling a red-card-free match, so take a guess.) Diana Matheson, for a sliding tackle that takes out both Klingenberg and the assistant referee.

Make your fun prediction, and give a “thumbs up” to anybody else’s prediction that tickles your fancy: The Riveters make a new chant just for KC, “Graphics Design Is our Passion”.

· Correct score: 5 points
· Correct result (draw/win/loss): 3 points
· Each clean sheet: 2 points
· Each goal-scorer: 1 point
· Each FK/PK/assist/lack of assist: 1 point
· Goal/assist bonus: 1 point
· Player with the first yellow card of the match: 1 point
· Each player with a red card: 1 point (Cannot earn points for predicting 0 red cards)
· Most liked/most outrageously accurate prediction: 2 points

Some ground rules and explanations/clarifications (the fine print):
Comments must be posted before kickoff, but you can edit or amend an earlier prediction right up to the starting whistle.

Keep your scoreline predictions realistic. No crazy scores just to pad out your odds of getting goals and assists.

The goal/assist bonus is an additional point if you predict the correct scorer and assistant on the same goal, for example, you say Hubly scores from a Boureille assist and that is exactly what happens. P.S. if you say exactly that, and it happens, I will hunt you down and buy you a beer!

Be clear whether you think a goal will be unassisted, assisted, or from a PK/FK. Unassisted = no assist, run of play; Assisted = player who got the assist; PK/FK = not in run of play. For the purposes of this thread, Penalty Kick and Free Kick are the same thing. No entry means unassisted.

The game thread will usually be posted 48 hours before each match.

Have fun, tell your friends, let me know if you have any questions or if I screw up your score.

Richard Hamje
Latest posts by Richard Hamje (see all)

8 thoughts on “The Thorns Prediction Game

  1. 3-1 Thorns

    Smith (Kling)
    Charley (Westphal)
    Sinc (pk)

    A-Rod (Scott)

    YC: Horan
    RC: Abby Smith

    Christine Westphal makes an amazing assist while simultaneously arranging her hair into a complex double French braid.

  2. 2-nil Portland

    Dunn (Sinclair)
    Horan (Westphal)

    YC: Horan
    RC: Weber

    After Westphal’s hair accident against Racing Portland becomes the first club in the league to have a designated “coiffeur” on staff for matchdays. This new assistant coach is never able to come to terms with Klingenberg, who he calls “untameable” in the post-match presser.

  3. 4-0 thorns

    Smith (charley)
    Dunn (horan)
    Sincy (pk)
    Weaver (lussi)

    YC horan
    RC amy rodriguez (double yellow)

    Crystal gonna score a banger from 30 yds out i expect at least 8 yellow cards so get your favorite snacks and drink its gonna be a wild one

  4. 2 Thorns-1 KC

    Sinc (Horan)
    Smith (Weaver)

    Arod (unassisted)

    The 80% capacity crowd is so happy & loud that “Build a Bonfire” can be heard in WA. Strains of the song float into Fishlock’s window in Tacoma & disturb her brunch plans

  5. Thorns 4-1 KC

    Horan (Klingenberg)
    Dunn (Smith)
    Sinclair (PK)
    Smith (Weaver)
    A. Rodriguez (LaBonta)

    YC: Scott
    RC: Laroquette

    Amy Rodriguez tries to get into the Thorns’ heads with a harangue to the Riveters a la Megan Rapinoe. The crowd shows no hesitation in booing her. The team pays no attention.

  6. 3-1 Thorns

    Klingenberg (unassisted)
    Dunn (Smith)
    Sinclair (Horan)
    Amy Rodriguez (Silva)

    YC: Ball
    RC: Corsie

    After she scores a goal, Klingenberg gets the whole 80% capacity crowd to do the wave. The wave continues for five minutes until it is stoped by Amy Rodriguez’s goal. In the silence that follows a lone KC supporter yells “Amy Rodriguez is a tsunami!”

  7. 3-0.

    Weaver (unassisted)
    Weaver (Charley)
    Horan (Kling)

    Yellow: Horan
    Red: Edmonds

    Due to some confusion, the team celebrates “All-Father’s Day” by hurling a spear across the pitch and dedicating their victory to Odin.

  8. 4-1

    Dunn (Horan)
    Charlie unassisted
    Sinclair PK
    Smith (Rocky)

    First YC

    Franch controls a back pass that starts a chain of short passes that sees all 11 thorns players touching the ball playing keep away from Kansas until Dunn finishes it off with a goal.


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