Thorns FC: What the $#%! happened..?

Last Friday may well have been the after-darkest “NWSL After Dark” thing I think I’ve ever seen.

It was certainly the craziest, least-expected result imaginable from a Portland-Seattle derby. Half an hour in I texted a friend: “One player down, one goal up: The Laura Harvey Conundrum”, and that was before the Thorns went another goal up and another player down, and La Harvey’s evening…

…went thoroughly to Hell.

Coming through the century-old Civic gates for the home opener I expected 1) a long, dreary evening of Harvey Sufferball as 2) the Thorns struggled to find goals against the grinding defense-first Reign.

Instead, and to my horror, in the 8th minute we got first this:

And then this:

And then off went Cassandra Bogere with two yellows inside 60 seconds and Portland’s first sending-off of the season.

In her defense, the first caution was soft as church music, and almost entirely due to Jess Fishlock’s mastery of the dark arts. Yes, Bogere had her in an armlock, but it was a pretty weak tug and Fishlock got her pass off before executing a nifty little cartwheel to draw the card. Meet the old pro, rook. She’s in your base killin’ your dudes.

To Bogere’s embarrassment, though, the second was appallingly stupid, a Greco-Roman wrestling throw right in front of center referee Brad Jensen who’d just blown her up for the exact same foul.

Sure, she’s only 20, but she’s played professionally for over a year. Youth doesn’t excuse everything.

Neither does authority, mind. Jensen’s work Friday was…pretty sketchy, given that he tossed red cards at Portland players like yummy candy, while Nerilia Mondesir spent much of the match doing shit like this…

…while getting little more than an occasional lecture from the fella in the yella.

I wasn’t nearly as arsed at being down two players (because both were pretty hard-to-argue-cards except for the whole “Fishlock-enabled-soft-first-yellow” thing) as I was that Mondesir thugged it up all match without so much as a yellow to show for it.

But there we were, looking at playing the Damn Reign shorthanded for over 80 minutes.

Well…shit. I went out to the concourse for a pricey beer, because drinking early and often seemed like the most reasonable response to that. But when I settled back, anesthetic in hand, unexpected things started happening.

First, the Thorns defense stayed compact, organized, and disciplined.

Then the Reign showed…nothing.

Seriously. Not a damn thing. Well, okay, Maddie Dahlen nicked a corner kick off a strong run in the 12th minute (but the corner went nowhere), and Sam Meza blasted a 20th minute shot into the Death Valley canyon between the South Deck and the MAC building.

But other than that? Nope.

And Portland?

In the 18th minute Fleming fed Reilyn Turner to serve up to Olivia Moultrie, but the linesman ruled Turner offside.

Then more nice combination play (Pietra Tordin to Moultrie) nicked a 21st minute corner. That was cleared over the byline for another corner.

In the 28th minute Moultrie hucked a long crossfield pass to Turner, whose run was only stopped by tackling the ball over the byline, and on the ensuing corner a combination of Moultrie’s delivery, slack Seattle marking, and Tordin’s free header meant that Seattle was, as noted above, up a player and down a goal.

After that the last fifteen minutes of the first half went kinda nuts.

Harvey drove her horses with the whip; over the next quarter hour I recorded Seattle with seventeen periods of possession.

Nine of them ended in a Portland defensive win – mostly from M.A. Vignola (three of the nine) but, as noted above, the Portland backline and Fleming stayed tight and well-organized as a group – and eight were killed off by a Seattle turnover (we’ll get there in a bit).

Portland had two possessions of any duration.

In the 35th minutes Moultrie and Reina Reyes won a midfield press and turned the ball upfield through Turner and Tordin, but decent defending first knocked the ball into touch and then turned it over to Seattle.

In the 37th minute Fishlock coughed up the ball in Portland’s third and…

…the ball ran to Reyes, who squared to Sam Hiatt, who passed up to Fleming who squared to Moultrie who had nothing but green in front of her.

Moultrie carried upfield as far as she had room, and, when Seattle finally closed on her, saw Tordin bolting into space.

Moultrie knocked a pretty pass through Seattle’s scattered midfield to Tordin.

Here’s where I want to pick on Harvey again. Look at the Seattle centerbacks and Turner.

That’s a hot mess. Seattle’s “defense” is as narrow as a unpaved southeast Portland backstreet, and both centerbacks are ballwatching Moultrie and Tordin. So, of course Tordin, being the Next Big Thing, splits them with a gorgeous, deadly, fuck-you through ball to Turner.

That was really all it took. Sure, Turner carried the ball into Seattle’s 18-yard-box and…

…slotted it past Claudia Dickey for the dagger. But the sweet sting of that crafty team goal just smacked whatever life remained in the Reign.

Even this…

…didn’t help.

Two players up, two goals down. See ya, Seattle. Enjoy the bus ride.

For the record, after the break I tracked Seattle’s possessions. I counted a successful Portland press or tackle, a long spell of Seattle possession without an scoring opportunity or an actual shot, or a shot that was blocked or saved as a “defensive win”. A possession that ended because of an unforced Seattle error (giveaway pass or touch, or an unhurried/unforced shot off-target) as a “turnover”. Here’s the tally:

45-53′ (the Reyes foul/red card took from the 53rd to the 58th minutes):
Seattle possessions – 6
Portland defensive wins – 2
Seattle turnovers – 4

58-97′
Seattle possessions – 46
Portland defensive wins – 26
Seattle turnovers – 18
Combination (Portland pressure forcing a Seattle error) – 2

So good Portland defending killed off about 54% of Seattle’s possessions (that is, Seattle’s attacks). Portland managed only four more-than-momentary possessions in the second half. Only one, a Turner miss in the 51st minute, produced any sort of danger. Seattle errors lost the remaining 42-odd percent.

I dunno about you, but if I was Laura Harvey, that cooler top would have felt pretty fucking hot during that shitshow.

And that’s just dandy.

Fuck Seattle.

Short Passes

Unsurprisingly Seattle dominated the statistics. 62% to 38% possession. 84% completion of 446 passes to Portland’s 72% of 297 Here’s Sofascore’s “momentum” plot:

Lots of blue, two red rectangles, but the two soccer balls are Portland green. Sucks to be you, eh, Seattle.

The xG plots are damning. Here’s Chris Henderson:

Look not at the xG but at the “post-shot” xG; that’s appalling.

Portland didn’t get many chances but nailed what they got. Seattle got more than a goal-and-a-half’s worth of opportunities and did fuck-all with them

Here’s Carlisle-sensei with his new-this-season “shot map”:

He’s a bit kinder to the Thorns, but a whole lot harder on the Reign. I won’t argue with that.

Now Carlisle with the passing. First, Portland:

Fleming? Ohhellyes. We’ll get there.

Now here’s Seattle:

Remember the Seattle centerbacks? It was all like that.

Turnover and over.

Here’s how things are going;

Opponent – Venue (Result)	Turnovers
Washington – Away (W)	26
Seattle – Home (W)	11

That’s goddamn outstanding. Six in the first half, five in the second. Seattle was, like everything else they brought to Portland, a tire fire; 25 turnovers, 16 in the first half, nine in the second.

Turner was the Biggest Loser, if you can call two turnovers “losing big” and I don’t. Nobody else had more than a single loss.

Only one was even close to scary, an Obaze pass that went right to a white shirt in the 44th minute, but the Thorns closed up in front of goal and saw off the danger.

Press!

Second match tracking the press. I counted either a 1) turnover (either from a tackle-for-loss or a mishit forced pass), or a 2) forced retreat or drop-pass that killed off a progressive action, as a pressing “win”.

Portland came out pressing; eight presses in the first eight minutes (seven wins, including two ball-winning successes). After the Bogere red, though…

A total of 22 more in the first half (18 wins, 5 turnover gains). Only a total of five presses in the second half (and only one after the Reyes red). Two wins, one with a ball gain,

Seattle was, as you’d expect, much more aggressive, especially in the first half. A total of 49 (28 wins and 11 ball-winning gains). The second half reflects Seattle’s massive advantage in possession; the Reign only pressed 12 times…but they only won twice and didn’t gain possession either time. They didn’t care; they had bigger problems to worry about.

Match time	Reign presses (wins)(%)	Thorns presses (wins)(%)
0-47′	49(28) (57.1%)	30(18) (60%)
45-97′	12(2) (16.6%)	5(2) (40%)
Match Total	61(30) (49.1%)	35(20) (57.1%)

My thoughts:
Self-explanatory. Portland couldn’t press without exposing themselves to excessive risk if Seattle beat the press; the Thorns had to stay compact in a low-mid-block.

Seattle came hard when they could, though not particularly well, and then didn’t because they had all the ball. Didn’t matter. This one wasn’t won, or loss, in the press.

Here’s the running tally:

Match (Result)	Opponent Press (Success)	Thorns Press (Success)
Washington Away (W)	40(27) (67.5%)	69(41) (59.4%)
Seattle Home (W)	61(30) (49.1%)	35(20) (57.1%)

Corner Kicks

Four, all long in the first half.

Time	Taker	Short/Long?	Result
5′	Moultrie	Long	To Reyes, whose shot was blocked. Vignola tried to recycled but was tackled for loss
21′	Moultrie	Long	To Reyes again, cleared over the byline.
22′	Moultrie	Long	Over everybody. Alidou picked up the ball, fed Hiatt, whose weak shot went right to Dickey.
28	Moultrie	Long	On Tordin’s head and from there into the goal, 1-nil.

As we’ve discussed repeatedly, anything above 3-5% production from corners is terrific. Three shots, one goal? Terrific.

Player Ratings and Comments

Tordin (59′ – +10/-1 : +2/-0 : +12/-1) Goal and assist, and good trouble all around, we’ll talk more about this when we get to the gaffer, but the whole “Turner-Tordin-Moultrie” attack is starting to look surprisingly polished. Two matches, though, so let’s keep the highs low until we’ve seen a bit more, especially given how dire Seattle (and Washington) were.

Wilson (31′ – +12/-0) It’s been so long since we’ve seen her that it’s easy to forget that Sophia Wilson isn’t just a scoring prodigy. Her soccer intelligence is remarkable, and it showed from the pitch Friday night like a lamp in a window.

The Thorns didn’t need goals in the final half hour. They needed to keep Seattle from scoring goals, and Wilson did as much of that as she could; holding possession, playing keep-away, tackling and dispossessing Seattle in their own defensive half. Wilson put on a master class in “how a forward defends” and if it had been any prettier I’d have asked it to the prom. Damn, that was awesome.

Turner (59′ – +9/-0 : +2/-1 : +11/-1) Missed a sitter in the 51st minute, but no complaints; the second goal payed all the freight. What I said for Tordin holds here, too.

Muller (31′ – +5/-2) Good shift, locked down the defensive right touchline, which was all that was needed.

Alidou (68′ – +2/-1 : +1/-1 : +3/-2) Another very “Alidou” outing; not awful – helped hang onto the win – but nothing really worth discussing, either. Over an hour of “squad player”, and yet here she is and Alexa Spaanstra is out on loan. Go figure. She must be a training ground superstar or something.

Perry (22′ – +6/-4) The rust showed; several truly awful “clearances” that, fortunately, didn’t produce any real danger, but that owed as much to Seattle incompetence as anything. Saw out the win so good enough, but…we’ll have a discussion when we get to Hiatt’s comment.

Moultrie (+12/-0 : +4/-1 : +16/-1) In the absence of Wilson, or another attacking midfielder such as Hina-san, Moultrie has had to seize this club.

She did. It’s hers now, and we’ll have to see what happens as Wilson’s minutes grow. Right now? Livvy is tearing it up.

Oh, and she also nicked the coveted “Emily Sonnett Funnyface Photobomb” award for this:

Bogere (9′ – +1/-1) Yes, she’s young. But, young or not, having been blown up for what the center referee considered a yellow-card-worthy foul, to repeat that exact same foul – only more visibly and physically more gross – was pretty goddamn stupid.

I haven’t seen enough of this player to know whether she’s really worth a lick. But this didn’t help her in my estimation. I can forgive mistakes. But jakin’ it, or playing dumb? No, that’s not forgivable.

Fleming (+5/-1 : +9/-1 : +16/-2) Look back up at the passing diagram and tell me Carlisle-sensei was lying. Fleming has been a damn monster for 180 minutes this season after closing out 2025 as a huge piece of the midfield. Fleming in beast mode is a scary thing and, since she’s beasting it up for us, that’s a good kind of scary.

Reyes (57′ – +4/-0 : +0/-1 : +4/-1) There are bad red cards; horrific Early-Shea-Groom violent play kinds of fouls, or boneheaded Double Bird double bird shenanigans, or Bogere being an MMA all-in wrestler fifty-odd minutes earlier.

This…

…is absolutely a red card. It’s a straight-up hair pull, and that’s by the rules “violent conduct”.

Was it a “hair pull” in the way that hair-pulling has been included in the rules as a straight red foul?

No.

Reyes was trying to grab her opponent’s shoulder (or shirt), and since Madison Curry’s hair is all over the fucking place gets a piece of that, too. It’s a mistake, and, well, Reyes paid for it. Thankfully for her and her team, they didn’t.

Until then Reyes was doing her usual good work, and was a big part of her backline unit’s solid evening. She fucked up, but that happens sometimes. I’m not kicking her backside for it.

Hiatt (+3/-0 : +2/-2 : +5/-2) As I think I’ve mentioned, I’m really unconvinced by this player, and last Friday was just another on the list of “why I think Sam Hiatt isn’t a particularly reassuring starting centerback”. Two cases from last Friday in point:

48th minute, long Seattle pass running into the penalty area with Hiatt jogging along behind it…but pursued by several white shirts. Morgan Messner doesn’t come out to claim it or kick it away because – it looked to me – she thought Hiatt was going to clear it out. Hiatt didn’t, and, instead, Ward’s pointblank shot went right off Messner and only then Hiatt cleared the ball out.

That’s keeper-and-centerback communication 101, and – since Hiatt is supposed to be the veteran here – Hiatt needs to take control; either just boot the ball into the South Deck, or tell Messner it’s hers to deal with. That sort of misguided kludge is what ships crap goals.

89th minute, this time it’s a Maddie Dahlien cross floating into the six. Messner has it, eyes locked on, easy catch, but here comes Hiatt steaming in to head it out of Messner’s reach and over the byline and concede the needless corner.

This is U-23 stuff and, again, Hiatt is the experienced pro. She shouldn’t be doing this unless Messner is a hot mess and, from all appearances, the rook is doing just fine.

So, instead, this stuff makes me shake my head when I think about Hiatt, wondering if Perry might not be a better starting choice.

Obaze (+1/-1 : +4/-0 : +5/-1) The low PMR numbers for many of the backs aren’t because the backline had a poor match – anything but! – but because they defended as a unit. Everyone stayed with their assignments, kept the Reign in front of them, closed down passing lanes, forced runners to turn outside, or back.

So hardly anyone had to make heroic recovery runs, or dramatic solo tackles, or otherwise do the things that get you pluses (if well-executed) or minuses (if botched). Obaze, like the rest of her unit, was solid, and part of an actual well-organized defense, and that’s how you win games, even two players down.

Vignola (+5/-0 : +14/-2 : +19/-2) M.A. Vignola was the exception, because Harvey threw the fucking kitchen sink at her. First Mondesir, then Dahlien, then Ratcliffe, Cedeno, then two or three together…it must have looked like a fucking junior high school recess in the Thorns deep left corner.

Vignola handed them all their asses. I picked on her for letting Trinity Rodman get behind her on Matchday 1. Last Friday? Not a damn step. The Reign, as Arthur Wellesly is supposed to have said of the French Army at Waterloo, came on in the same old way, and Vignola sent them back in the same old way.

Messner (+2/-0 : +3/-2 : +5/-2) Good keeping looks like no work at all.

Messner only had to make one “big” save, on a cross in from the right corner late in the first half that, as it turned out, was ruled dead because the pass up to Dahlien caught her offside. Other than that a couple of strong takes – Messner looks good in the air, which was not a strength of the Angerer-line of keepers – and commanded her penalty area.

Coach Vilahamn: In Washington the Thorns were very like still Sarah Lowdon’s Thorns. Against Seattle? Well…

Let’s give our new gaffer the benefit of the doubt, anyway. For all that many of the problems Harvey’s handless mob were of her and their own making, the newly-captained Thorns could well have come apart going down two players for a half hour and didn’t.

I’m still a bit uncertain about the attack – the goals were, as you’d expect, well against the run of play – but the midfield and backline looked very, very well organized. As in a “not-KenBall” sort of way.

So if this – let’s call it “Swedish MeatBall” for now – is the Vilahamn “system”?

I like it!

I had doubts after Washington, but this was a very well crafted defensive match. I’m getting a bit hopeful.

This coming week we’re away at San Diego Wednesday. The Wave dropped their opener to a surprisingly good Houston Dash and got revenge by whomping on the dreadful Utah Royals. Saturday we host Kansas City, who dropped an awful clanger to the woeful Red Stars this past weekend. That’s a lot of soccer in a short span, and we’ll get a chance to see what this club is really made of.

Pass the lingonsylt!

Apology:

I flat-out failed to post a “prediction game” for this one. Several punters put in their predictions for it, though, and I promise to have one up before Wednesday’s match with the current standings.

Gomen nasai! Sorry!