We’ve looked back at 2024.
The 2025 campaign doesn’t begin until some time in January. Technically the next time we’ll see a Thorns squad will be in February, when the club plays Angel City on 2/16/25 at the “Coachella Valley Invitational”, this thing.
I use the word “technically” because, in case you’ve chosen to put memory of this horror behind you, the last time the club did this it went…poorly.
“This was, hands down, the worst parody of a soccer match telecast I’ve ever seen, and even the worst NWSL broadcast I can remember, and remember I’ve seen the Protect the Precious match during the Yahoo! Era and can even remember the interminable buffering YouTube stream from Rochester back in the early Teens. It’s a low goddamn bar, but WSN couldn’t clear it.”
Streaming soccer isn’t rocket science, but the people in Indio were not capable of even doing that. There’s nothing at the CVI website about broadcasting the games, so the possibility that there will be no stream, or that the stream will be handed off to some hack outfit like the “Women’s Sports Network”, is very real.
Right now?
We’ve kinda got…nothing. We’re in the Thorns Doldrums.
Well, okay. The club noisily re-signed Bella Bixby, including a long (and kind of sweet) interview with Bix (it’s on Twitter so fuck Elmo not linking; it’s linked on the Stumptown thread here if you want…), but, interestingly, one that ended with the newest roster signing and new mommy saying: “Stick with us. Good things are coming.” which prompted this response from me:
FO: “Stick with us, good things are coming.”
Me:
FO: “Really. No shit! Pinky swear.”
Me:
FO: “…what..?“
Me: “THAT’S WHAT YOU SAID ABOUT KEN! WHO’S THE GM? WTF? WHY DO I HAVE TO GET MAD ABOUT THIS??!!”
FO: “Well! No wonder I don’t talk to you people!
Because the answers to the important questions about 2025: Who’s the GM? Who’s the head coach? Are nowhere to be found.
The long hiatus without those answers is leading me – unwillingly! – to the suspicion that we’re getting Rob Gale back in the technical box, regardless of who ends up behind the GM desk.
Time is just not on our side. Unless…the new GM comes as part of a set.
Perhaps the looooooonnnng lag is because 1) the owners have a GM target (who’s gettable) but 2) the GM has a gaffer the GM wants who either 3) isn’t, or 4) is but forces the Bhathals to 86 Ken, who they’re kinda tied to because of the idiotic interim-removal decision.
I have no fucking idea.
The long wait does suggest to me that the new GM hire is not Mark Parsons. What would be the holdup for that? Dude’s unemployed, he’s got big ties with this club, the only possible problem might be that he is still hoping for a managing (i.e. head coaching) gig. He’s said as much. Perhaps he’s jawboning the Bhathals for Ken’s job, or just wants to exhaust the possibilities that someone will hire him to coach before giving in. Again…no real idea.
So. Blogrolling?
Chris Rifer has a Substack (doesn’t everyone?). His Thorns piece has some worthwhile thoughts but pretty much mirrors a lot of what we’ve discussed here (tho it took me a while to interpret his term “chief soccer officer/CSO” as “general manager”…)
Our “Vaudevillian cane” blogger has a “Best of 2024” piece. It’s a subscription site, so YMMV, but I got a lot of good stuff from him last season, so it’s worth a dime. His take on Sam Coffey (and Ken) is spot-on:
“(Last season Coffey was)…nowhere near her best and probably not a year that was great for her continued development at the position. (In 2023)…she led the league in assists (8) while putting up outrageous defensive numbers. That Sam Coffey wasn’t around this season, and in fact only had three open play passes into the box that even led to shots. A lot of this is the way that team was constructed, and a midfield that is full of similar, rather than complementary, pieces. (S)he (and the USWNT) could really use Portland getting their shit together so she can get back to the trajectory she was on.”
Yep.
Sadly, all too many others are paywalled. Meg Linehan is at The Athletic. Jeff Kassouf is at The Equalizer (where he just reported our former Thorn Yazmeen Ryan was sold from Gotham to that soccer Devil’s Island, Houston)…
…which, coupled with the sale of Lynn Williams to Seattle and her comments thereafter, raises some real questions about 1) what kind of show was Amoros running there last season, and 2) how far outside the league roster cap WAS Gotham, to be shedding so much contract weight right now..?
…while Steph Yang is supposedly over at All for XI, the Vox WoSo site, with (among others) Stumptown’s Phuoc Nguyen (and for those who are unfamiliar with, or don’t remember, the old Vox Stumptown site, don’t be misled by the utter lack of comments on the posts. Vox is all about clicks. They could care less about fan engagement (ironic for a “fan site”? Ohhellyes.) so long as they can report site activity to their advertisers, who are what they’re in it for. They don’t pay their writers (or they didn’t when I wrote for them) and a insanely cheap everywhere else. So.)
Chris Henderson has a BlueSky (tho most of his activity is still on Musk-o-vision) and, sadly, his All White Kit is a zombie blog and has been since 2018.
Final Thoughts:
With Denver and BOS Nation (and I can’t believe they’re STILL going there…) coming in 2026, is the east-west conference split inevitable? Boston-Washington-Gotham–Carolina-Orlando-Kansas City-Chicago-Louisville and Seattle-Portland-Bay FC-San Diego-ACFC-Houston-Utah-Denver…which seems like a “western” site to me, but so does Houston. Maybe the Dash goes west, Denver east?
And I try to be optimistic. But the silence from SW 18th and Morrison is getting past oppressive and verging on ominous.
Let’s hope for better in the New Year.
- Now what..? - December 26, 2024
- 2024 Final Grades: The Coaches, Trainers, and Management - December 18, 2024
- 2024 Final Grades: Forwards - December 17, 2024
