In what turned out to be the easiest championship of the Thorns’ history the Women In Black shellacked Kansas City 2-nil on an early Smith tally and a Finals appearance of that perennial prospect Own Goal. The Current were hapless, the Thorns defense smothering, and Portland is now the official first third-star-bearers in the NWSL.
(Mind you, the Damned Courage have a word here; the squads that won in 2018 and 2019 were pretty much the Western New York team that won in 2016. But the league – that looked the other way while the hapless Sky Blue pranced around wearing a star from fucking WPS, forchrissakes – erased WNY from the record books so too bad, so sad. I shed no tears for The Damned)
Every one of our punters got the result – Thorns fans gonna fan, of course, but Roses got the big casino for getting the score and the clean sheet as well.
The record books will want to record this season’s prediction game because it literally came down to the last match of not just the season but the entire year; ABell4 came within a point of forcing overtime and penalties, but Thrakkorzog got just enough to, unlike the Thorns, stay top of table and bag the Shield.
(And the championship; this ain’t no playoff league..!)
So the final standings are:
|Final Season Total
Congratulations to all our players for a great job and a fun ending to what was an often-turbulent season. Hopefully everyone enjoyed our speculation and prediction.
Because of the tight finish I’d like to offer both our top two finshers some Championship swag, so if you get in touch with me at firstname.lastname@example.org and furnish me with your directions I’ll get that in the mail!
I’ll be back later this week with the beginnings of our postseason conversation, but until then, third star to the right, and straight on ’til morning!