The Thorns Prediction Game

MATCH POSTPONED! With confirmation that there will not be a replay before the Courage match, this week’s prediction game is cancelled.

The Thorns dropped a second 2-1 loss to the Reign. Aside from the disappointment, this means that OL Reign will have the tiebreaker on Portland should it come to that, which it might.

Two players predicted a Reign victory, both with the correct score. Daniel Stratton wins this week with the correct prediction and a story of Gio taking one for the Thorns.

[2-1 loss. Rapinoe from Fishlock, Rapinoe PK, Salem unassisted. First yellow card to Huerta, no red.]

The Washington Spirit make the long trip to face the Thorns. Since losing to Portland at home, the Spirit have a three-game unbeaten streak. Most recently they held the Courage to a scoreless draw.

[Last meeting: August 7, 2021 at Segra Field, 1-0 Thorns win.]

How this works:
Add a comment to this post. As your first line, put your predicted result, for example 3-1 Thorns.

In the body of your comment, start with the goals and assists, like so:
Smith (Klingenberg)
Salem (Free kick)
Moultrie (Unassisted)
Sanchez (PK)

Next, name the first yellow card recipient: Trinity Rodman
Then a red card. (NOTE: no points awarded for correctly calling a red-card-free match, so take a guess.) Emily Sonnett gets a yellow for kicking the ball away, and then a second yellow for photobombing Mark Parsons at halftime.

Make your fun prediction, and give a “thumbs up” to anybody else’s prediction that tickles your fancy: An unexpected storm front drops the temperature at kickoff to 45 degrees. The Spirit didn’t bring any coats, so they pop into the PTFC Authentics™ store and buy 30 Thorns parkas and blankets. The TV cameras show the Spirit bench at every opportunity.

Scoring:
· Correct score: 5 points
· Correct result (draw/win/loss): 3 points
· Each clean sheet: 2 points
· Each goal-scorer: 1 point
· Each FK/PK/assist/lack of assist: 1 point
· Goal/assist bonus: 1 point
· Player with the first yellow card of the match: 1 point
· A player with a red card: 1 point
· Most liked/most outrageously accurate prediction: 2 points

Some ground rules and explanations/clarifications (the fine print):
Comments must be posted before kickoff, but you can edit or amend an earlier prediction right up to the starting whistle.

Keep your scoreline predictions realistic. No crazy scores just to pad out your odds of getting goals and assists.

The goal/assist bonus is an additional point if you predict the correct scorer and assistant on the same goal, for example, you say Hubly scores from a Boureille assist and that is exactly what happens. P.S. if you say exactly that, and it happens, I will hunt you down and buy you a beer!

Be clear whether you think a goal will be unassisted, assisted, or from a PK/FK. Unassisted = no assist, run of play; Assisted = player who got the assist; PK/FK = not in run of play. For the purposes of this thread, Penalty Kick and Free Kick are the same thing. No entry means unassisted.

The game thread will usually be posted 48 hours before each match.

Have fun, tell your friends, let me know if you have any questions or if I screw up your score.

Richard Hamje
Latest posts by Richard Hamje (see all)

9 thoughts on “The Thorns Prediction Game

  1. Thorns 2 – 0 Washington

    Smith (Rocky)
    Charley (Kling)

    YC- Sonnett

    Before the game Kuikka and Salem sit down with the forwards and gently explain that they are quite busy on the pitch and would prefer that the forwards make a few goals this time.

    4
    1. OUT: Celeste Boureille (left wrist), Simone Charley (left knee)
      QUESTIONABLE: Meghan Klingenberg (right thigh), Becky Sauerbrunn (right thigh)

      Injury report dropped

      0
  2. Thorns 2-1 Spirit

    Weaver (Westphal)
    Dunn (Horan)

    Rodman (Sonnett)

    YC: Sonnett
    RC: Sonnett

    Sonnett Sonnett Sonnett … I don’t know … you just know Sonnett always adds that special sauce.

    0
  3. 3-0

    Sinclair (PK)
    Becky (Kling) FC
    Rocky (Dunn)

    YC Horan
    RC Sonnett

    In a welcome back gesture, Sonny switches teams at halftime. She picks up a yellow card in each half. Unsure as to how to adjudicate two yellow cards for the same player but for different teams, the refs show her a red for a second yellow and she ends the game early.

    0
  4. I’m going to be optimistic in predicting the clean sheet, so let’s have our shit together, defense! No more of these hanging-Bixby-out crap concessions!

    Portland 2-nil
    Smith (Rodriguez)
    Sinclair (PK)

    YC: Horan
    RC: Sonnett

    Emily Sonnett behaves just like any other visiting opponent during her return to Providence Park; defends solidly, goes in hard when she needs to tackle her former teammates, hangs with her Washington team, and just generally ignores the reception she gets from – and in so doing stuns – the large group of Portland fans who seem to believe that she should treat the whole business of playing her former club as a middle-school clique drama instead of a job being done by a professional athlete.

    2
    1. Hey, Allie Long was thrilled to hear how happy we were to have her back in Portland after that trade, it was part of her interview. To be fair her exit and Sonny’s exits were not the same. Also anyone have game postponed due to Spirit not following the established covid protocols?

      0
      1. Not the same? That’s like saying “The sack of Rome and my kid’s 6th birthday party were kinda different…”

        Long revels in that middle-school shit (I’m convinced that’s why she had to leave the way she did) and had just gone through the worst season of her time here. Given that I’m not sure what she expected when she returned for the first time, but I (at least) wasn’t “happy” to see her again. She was an opponent and, as such, needed to be whipped. If other Thorns fans were nice enough to not treat her like that, well…that’s Portland. We’re kinda sentimental idiots.

        Sonnett seems like a happy-go-lucky kind of player and was moved as part of a typical inter-club deal, so I don’t see her as taking part in the drama. I think she knows she was a fan favorite and I think she’ll be pleasant about it…but I also hope she’s a professional and will act like a professional (hence my little story…)

        0
  5. Thorns 2-0 Spirit

    Sinclair
    Weaver (Horan)

    YC: Heilferty
    RC: Sonnett

    It’s September, and the migrating Vaux’s swifts are making their annual layovers at Chapman Elementary. This year, however, the Audubon Society has canceled the traditional swift watch because of the pandemic. The swifts have grown accustomed to the crowds, so finding only a few people at Chapman, they go in search of a larger audience. Discovering thousands of Thorns fans at Providence Park, the swifts form a towering spiral over the field before streaming low over the heads of the audience, making two full circuits of the stands.
    Perceiving a threat to his master’s daughter, Frankie the chihuahua bolts from his secret nook in a fake Gatorade cooler, barking madly and leaping inches in the air. The swifts, their thirst for applause satisfied by the fans, peel away to roost in the Chapman chimney. Frankie, swelling with pride in a job well done, struts back to his own roost.

    1

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