I won’t kid you.
Last Sunday’s scoreless home draw wasn’t really a lot of fun to watch.
Two ignorant armies clashing by late afternoon, between the two of them producing more fouls (23) than shots (22), no goals from barely over a combined about 1.8xG (Portland’s roughly 1.2-something was marred by the atrocious “finishing” (the Thorns managed only 0.22 post-shot xG) and while Angel City did better (PSxG 0.98) than their sad 0.57 expected goals, their scoreline hung up the same zero).
There’s a reason that nobody pays to watch a couple of bums brawling in an alley.
Only one of our punters got the result, although with four more goals than the actual match scoreline, and Ken’s tale of stolen kits also took the “fun” points for what passed for a sweep of the dreary little outing which, combined with Utah and San Diego wins, dropped Portland to third on the table (20pts, 6-2-2, 15GF, 6GA, GD+9).
Here’s the league table before Matchday 11:
| Player | Latest Round | Cumulative Score |
| PTFC Dave | 0 | 37 |
| Ken | 5 | 35 |
| Barcasiempre | 0 | 27 |
| DanXP2 | 0 | 4 |
| Daniel Stratton | 0 | 6 |
| David Mellinger | 0 | 3 |
How all this works:
Before the upcoming Thorns match add a comment to this post. As your first line, put your predicted result, for example 1-3 Thorns.
In the body of your comment, start with the goals and assists, like so:
Wilson (Fleming)
Reyes (Free kick)
Moultrie (Unassisted)
Rodman (PK)
Next, name the first yellow card recipient: Sophia Wilson
Then a red card. (NOTE: no points awarded for correctly calling a red-card-free match, so take a guess.) Trinity Rodman for mimicking mooning the referee after getting an undeserved yellow.
Make your fun prediction,and give a “thumbs up” to anybody else’s prediction that tickles your fancy: “Ryan gets the start against her former club. She gets through 70 minutes without fouling her former teammates until she can’t take it anymore. She pushes over Perry, gives Muller a wedgie, gives Arnold a noogie, then flips off the Riveters and runs out of Providence Park, never to be seen again. The ref issues a red card, which she later contests, and loses.” (h/t to ABell4)
Scoring:
· Correct score: 5 points
· Correct result (draw/win/loss): 3 points
· Each clean sheet: 2 points
· Each goal-scorer: 1 point
· Each FK/PK/assist/lack of assist: 1 point
· Goal/assist bonus: 1 point
· Player with the first yellow card of the match: 1 point
· A player with a red card: 1 point
· Most liked/most outrageously accurate prediction: 2 points
Some ground rules and explanations/clarifications (the fine print):
Comments must be posted before kickoff, but you can edit or amend an earlier prediction right up to the starting whistle.
Keep your scoreline predictions realistic. No crazy scores just to pad out your odds of getting goals and assists.
The goal/assist bonus is an additional point if you predict the correct scorer and assistant on the same goal, for example, you say Castellanos scores from a Moultrie assist and that is exactly what happens.
Be clear whether you think a goal will be unassisted, assisted, or from a PK/FK. Unassisted = no assist, run of play; Assisted = player who got the assist; PK/FK = dead ball, not in run of play. FK includes olimpicos from corners. No entry means unassisted.
So. This Wednesday – another short-rest week which includes a trip to Kansas City this coming Sunday – comes Bay FC, currently lying 10th (11pts (off only 8 matches), 3-2-3, 8GF (third-worst in the league), 11GA, -3GD), after five days rest from a 1-1 home draw which saw the visiting Boston Legacy – playing with ten for almost fifty minutes – pull the road point from a 64th minute penalty conversion.
To give credit where it’s due, BFC held the Royals to a scoreless home draw the Sunday before last and beat San Diego in their house the match before that…but back in April the Bays were whomped by Gotham 3-nil and Washington 2-nil. Before that BFC traded lickings; stomping The Damned Courage in Cary 1-3 after getting yeeted in San Jose 1-3 by the Weeping Angels.
Which BFC will turn up? Could be peaches, could be…
This will be the first meeting between the clubs this season, with the reverse fixture not until October.
Oh, and I couldn’t resist this, from Carlisle-sensei; this was posted by San Jose’s PAO after beating Washington 2-1:
Well played, Wave’. Well played…
- Thorns FC: Kiss - June 3, 2026
- Thorns FC: Rough Road - May 29, 2026
- Thorns FC: Double Down - May 26, 2026
Thorns 2-1 Bay
Wilson/Tordin
Wilson/Fleming
Kundananji/Hutton
I am going to die on this Wilson brace or Hat Trick fixation.
No Yellow Cards
Kelli Hubly cheers when Soph scores, she still likes her former teammates.
2-1 Thorns
Wilson (Tordin)
Tordin (Turner)
Kundananji (Girelli)
Yellow: Hutton
Red: Lema
Emily Menges, still recovering from childbirth, attends the game and appears on the field with Bay teammates before the game. Thorns fans spot her and begin cheering her. After the game starts she finds herself liking the massive fan support so much that she ends up cheering for the Thorns when they score – then quickly hiding her response when teammates look her way.
Whoa, no Turner and no Moultrie. How are we going to score? Revising to…
1-1
Wilson (Tordin)
Kundananji (Girelli)
Still seems a bit optimistic but I’m going with it.
Damn but I miss EM. As much for herownself as for the steel she used to put in the backline. Good people, and I sure wish she and Rhian had read the room back in 2022 so we could have had more time with them.
I second that emotion. Menges was an anchor here for a lot of years.
What do you think about adding a new prediction: What position will Marie Muller play today?
Thorns 1-0 Bay
Wilson (Tordin)
1st Yellow: Wilson
Red: Huff
Muller will start at a wandering Left Wing.
I’m giving PTFC DAVE the thumbs up for the Menges fan support!
And I’ll give you a thumbs-up, both for the prediction and for the “guess Müller’s position” suggestion. Someone on STF had her as “defensive winger”, which seems about right. I was wondering if she was deployed there against Bay to help contain Kundananji, and if she’ll be there again versus KC since we’ll be facing Chawinga. (I do wish for someone with more speed in our backline, particularly against Chawinga.)