Thorns FC: “Goddess, sing…

…of the rage of Dennis’ daughter Trinity,
Destructive, how it gave the Kangites endless pains
And sent many promising attacks straight to fucking Hades—”

I get it.

After the past three seasons we want to embrace any goodness that the Thorns can find for us. We’re tired of smashed hopes. Tired of “almost”, “not quite”, “well, maybe…”.

We want wins. We want happiness and celebration. We want our heroes jubilant, our opponents vanquished.

So an Opening Day road win (the first in seven years!) in Washington, no less?

We’ll take that!

Let’s start there, because that’s a good place to start.

As we waited nervously for the kickoff in Loudy Audi, over at Stumptown I wrote:

“Frankly, I’d like to see the club grind out a solid defensive effort and at least get the road point. Yeah, remind me how often I whine about Harvey Sufferball, but there are times. When your opponent is solidly better across the roster and has a gaffer with proven ability? Sometimes you hunker down and play for the draw.”

Given what we’d seen from the two clubs in 2025 (and from Rob Gale’s Thorns since 2024…) I stand by that; fear of a blowout loss wasn’t an entirely unreasonable place to start.

And the first quarter hour was that fear made into physical reality.

In the 4th minute Reilyn Turner was pressured into an ugly backpass that forced Morgan Messner into a panic clearance. Two minutes later Isabella Obaze horked up a real hairball of a turnover pass that she had to make an outstanding defensive play to clear away.

Washington turned the ball right back at Portland’s goal, with Trinity Rodman playing a pretty 1-2 and crossing right onto an unmarked Rose Kouassi’s head which she – luckily for the Thorns – headed randomly into the turf, allowing Sam Hiatt to clear the ball.

Three minutes after that Gift Monday skinned Hiatt to the outside but couldn’t find a target inside the box and her cross in was, again, cleared.

Two minutes after that Rodman torched M.A. Vignola to the byline but, again, the Spirit wasn’t connecting. Nobody was in front of goal for the pass, the defenders scrambled back, and the shot didn’t happen.

At the other end?

Nothing. Not a fucking thing.

Well, nothing except what we’d seen from KenBall all last season; possession (and not much of it, mind – Washington ended the match with something over 60% of the ball) without purpose.

Lots of lateral passes, lots of nobody-moving-to-space, lots of “dink-dink…” before a final “boot” long ball that went nowhere.

That didn’t really change before halftime. Portland ran off at the break with nothing dangerous – the first (and last) Thorns shot in the entire half was a Reina Reyes Palmer-moonshot in the 34th minute.

Washington, though, after the initial flurry, boltered off into incoherence and disorganization after the quarter-hour. The Spirit generated a total of three shots, none on goal, and two more attacks; on the half hour Kouassi wrongfooted Reyes and crossed over everyone – luckily, because Vignola was ballwatching at the back post had the ball gone to Rodman – and seven minutes later Rodman’s run caught Vignola woolgathering but the Spirit icon couldn’t control the skipping long pass and it ran over the byline.

The first half was a dreary slog, lit for Portland and Portland fans only with the clinging hopes of a scoreless-draw road point. Here’s what it looked like in figures; Sofascore’s “momentum” graphic at halftime –

and Henderson’s xG race plot halfway through –

Whuh. Fuck, that’s ugly. If I’d been a neutral? I’d have been looking for a decent “Naked and Afraid” rerun by halftime.

Then the squads ran out for the second half and the Thorns had another scare from Gift Monday, who stripped Hiatt at midfield but, impatient, hacked a long shass (shot? pass? who knows…) to Messner in the 51st minute.

Messner fielded the ball, played out to Obaze, and then…this happened.

Obaze had Monday up in her grille, but, perhaps inhabited by the restless spirit of Tobin Heath, took a lovely step, deked Monday, and…

…saw Pietra Tordin tear-assing down the left channel. Obaze hoofed a perfect Route One rainbow into Tordin’s path.

Tordin had Olivia Moultrie burning through the midfield unmarked (Unmarked? Washington, what the fuck were you thinking..?) while screaming for the square pass.

Which Tordin delivered.

Moultrie converged on the pass, took a touch, and saw this; Tara Rudd shuffling to her – Rudd’s – left as the pass slid across the top of the eighteen.

That wasn’t entirely a mistake; Rudd was trying to stay between Moultrie and the ball and her goal. The pace and timing of Rudd’s shuffle was a problem, though, because…

…she kept moving as Moultrie touched up the ball. Too fast, and too far to her left.

And Moultrie saw that.

Moultrie touched up the ball, and Rudd was caught sprawled out, straddle-legged, her residual momentum pulling her to her left as Moultrie tapped the ball to Moultrie’s left – Rudd’s right – and past the Spirit defender.

Rudd was in a desperate position because that touch was pure poetry from Moultrie, the kind of touch that, just several years ago, she didn’t have. That’s a pure striker’s move; savage, clinical, perfect. That’s the sort of thing that truly great strikers do almost by instinct.

Give her credit; Rudd tried to stab to her right in a desperate effort to get a foot to the ball.

But she was stuck, off-balance, her legs too spread out, without enough remaining spring in them to allow her to reach the ball before it, and Moultrie, were past her.

MacIver came out and got big, but at that point she might as well have done better to pull a shotgun. Nothing was going to stop Moultrie, and MacIver didn’t.

Suddenly the hosts were down a goal, and reaching for something they hadn’t shown all match; cohesive, coordinated, well-integrated attack. The sort of sleek, blinding, match-dominating attack they bludgeoned the Thorns with back in the 2025 semifinal.

It just wasn’t fucking there.

Instead the Thorns grabbed the match by the throat for the next ten minutes or so, denying Washington the bulk of the possession for the first time all match, and, instead, threatening the Spirit goal.

In the 56th minute Messner found Alidou downfield. The Canadian poked a header to Moultrie, who deked her defender and slotted to a free-running Turner.

Turner’s shot was well off-frame.

Six minutes later Vignola stripped Monday and slotted past Moultrie (who put in a clever dummy) but Tordin’s service was off-target and cleared away.

At 64′ Jessie Fleming hit Maddie Padelski with a cross-field dime. Padelski’s clever run opened a tiny window for her shot, but it was just wide left.

Going the other way, Washington had…well, not nothing – Hal Hirshfelt rang a long shot off the crossbar in the 75th minute – but as near as dammit. The most visible sign of this frustration was the Washington Spirit Animal herself, Rodman.

She flopped. She pissed and moaned. In the 79th minute she clattered Reina Reyes going after a looping ball that Reyes had knocked cleanly away, then whined ceaselessly at center referee Brad Jensen when he stopped play to allow the Thorns trainers to check Messner and Reyes for concussion protocols.

Some players seem to be energized by anger, elevated by wrath.

Rodman…not so much. Her anger looked like it was divisive, destructive; it took her, and with her, her team further out of the match rather than rallying them back into it.

After the collision the Spirit crafted only one real half-chance, a long lob in the 88th minute that Rodman tried to run under, but was well-marked by (who else?) Reyes, and managed only a weak header went well over the crossbar.

And that was that.

Okay, now. Road win? In D.C.? On Opening Day? That’s terrific! We can and should hug that like a soft, fluffy pillow full of cuddly kittens.

That said…this was hardly a dominating win. Here’s the final “momentum” plot:

And here’s the final xG race plot:

That’s pretty meh. Washington, no goals on an xG of 0.59, Portland one goal off .064xG? That’s
1) damn near flat even, well within the range of error of the stat, and
2) effectively a “scoreless draw”…which as I think I mentioned, I was inclined to accept as a “good enough” result. To get the road win instead? Ohhellyeah! I’ll take that and scamper away chuckling. Haha, sucks to be you, Spirit!

Sometimes you can be good and lucky.

Short Passes

Portland’s completion was only slightly better than the dire 2025 semifinal; 78% completion of only 361 passes. Just as in the playoff, Washington was significantly tidier as well as more prolific, completing 86% of 561 passes.

Here’s Carlisle-sensei with the passing. Portland:

I can’t disagree with any of that. Not great, but “good enough”,

Here’s Washington:

Fair enough. The Prime announcers, who were as ass as usual, mentioned the lack of Bethune repeatedly, too, so it’s not just you, sensei.

I’m not sure what the hell happened other then lack-of-Bethune-ism, but whatever the reason, the Spirit were a goddamn mess last week, and, well…they paid for it.

Turnover and over.

Here’s how things are going;

Opponent – Venue (Result)	Turnovers
Washington – Away (W)	26

Last season the Thorns were stingy in the home win (16 turnovers) but kind of fell apart at Audi – 27 turnovers in the regular season, 32 in the semifinal.

This was a better result, so, good enough. Washington was better than Portland by a bit; only 23 unforced losses. But Portland improved significantly in the second half, from 19 to 7 turnovers, while Washington was almost unchanged, from 11 to 12.

Fleming turned over three-and-a-half times. Padelski thrice, though all three of the latter were very late and well forward, so, meh.

Reyes was the Biggest Loser, coughing up six times. Most of those were long boots, though, so the damage was only to the buildup and, since they were all in the first half – when there was no real “buildup” – so, well…

Only two were scary. Obaze’s 6th minute horrific giveaway, and Hiatt with another close-to-goal lost pass in the 39th minute. Lucky for the Thorns the Spirit’s shit was utterly not-together, so they did nothing with the gifts. No blood, no foul.

Press!

Continuing this tracking from 2025, I counted either a 1) turnover (either from a tackle-for-loss or a mishit forced pass), or a 2) forced retreat or drop-pass that killed off a progressive action, as a pressing “win”. If two players were involved in a press each received a half mark (for attempts) and a half credit for successes.

Portland came out pressing, which if you watched KenBall (which is not exactly LowdonBall but which does have a lot of connections there) would surprise exactly no one.

The result was slightly better than the semifinal, but not really a factor. 50 presses in the first half, 29 “wins”, 21 losses, but only four Washington turnovers forced out of those wins.

Washington was a bit less aggressive – 32 presses – but a bit more successful; 20 wins, 6 turnovers.

The more open second half meant that both sides weren’t able to press anywhere near as much. Portland won 12 of 19 presses – but turned Washington over an impressive 7 out of 12 successes. Washington – surprisingly, given that they were chasing for forty-odd minutes – managed only 8 presses, though earned an impressive 7 wins and 6 turnovers.

Match time	Spirit presses (wins)(%)	Thorns presses (wins)(%)
0-47′	32(20) (62.5%)	50(29) (58%)
45-96′	8(7) (87.5%)	19(12) (63.1%)
Match Total	40(27) (67.5%)	69(41) (59.4%)

My thoughts:
Washington is, as they were on 2025, better at pressing in general, but this match went from 1) a first half of exceptional disorganization and futility where pressing wasn’t really of much value, to 2) a second half where the Thorns nicked a goal against the run of possession (I won’t say “play” because neither side really had much productive play) and then was able to sort of hang back and watch Washington faff about aimlessly.

Had the Spirit been able to they might have helped themselves had they pressed and turned Portland over more after the concession, but they weren’t able to get their shit together in the press any more than they did in the attack.

Here’s the running tally:

Match (Result)	Opponent Press (Success)	Thorns Press (Success)
Washington Away (W)	40(27) (67.5%)	69(41) (59.4%)

Corner Kicks

Two, both long in the second half.

Time	Taker	Short/Long?	Result
72′	Moultrie	Long	Dropped into the scrum, headed clear to Reyes. Her header caught a Thorn offside.
88′	Moultrie	Long	Cleared, Fleming took a shot (blocked!) that fell to Moultrie, who was tackled for loss.

Produced a shot. So…okay? Pretty weak sauce, though. This club still needs to come up with better set plays for corner kicks. Are you reading this, coach? Do I need to translate it into Swedish?

Player Ratings and Comments

Tordin (77′ – +6/-2 : +4/-0 : +10/-2) All the Thorns forwards had the same problem that the Thorns forwards have had through the whole KenBall Era; there’s no real organization or plan or understanding going forward, and Tordin – for all she gets credit for the assist and lots of her other usual hard work – was no different.

I’m not sure what our new Swedish chef will bring in the coming weeks and months, but if he can craft some sort of real buildup – not just hopeful long balls and individual hero-ball, but genuinely interconnected pass-and-move buildup – I’ll be a real happy camper.

Wilson (13′ – +7/-2) No real goal-scoring bite, but hard work to see out the road win after over a year on the mommy track, so that’s fine. We’ll see whether 2026 Wilson is pre-mommy Wilson in the coming weeks. Hopefully yes.

Moultrie (+11/-1 : +9/-0 : +20/-1) It’s been a real privilege to be here to watch this player grow.

There was a time when I thought that Livvy had hit her ceiling as a sort of slightly-more-than-a-squad-player. But if she keeps playing like this..?

Alidou (85′ – +2/-1 : +1/-3 : +3/-4) Two of the Thorns forwards are, in my opinion, trouble-children as individuals outside the whole “lack of organization” issue we’ve discussed.

Spaanstra is, at least, a physical force who can close out games. She lacks a striker’s feeling for goals, but if she comes off the bench (as she did in Washington) and helps keep the boot on the neck of a downed opponent? Fine. There’s a role there.

Alidou, though…

I’m not sure what her value is. She doesn’t score. She doesn’t really set up scoring, either as part of buildup or with direct assists. She’s not strong, or fast, or has the soccer intelligence to show up as a force in attack or defense. She’s just kind of there.

She works hard, and I’ll always stand for a player who does that. But…

She should be a depth piece and a deep one, but she played damn near the full 90 in a solid road win.

I dunno. What do you think?

Spaanstra (5′ – no rating) See above.

Fleming (+12/-1 : +9/-2 : +21/-3) Given the result it’s difficult to tap anyone other than Moultrie for Woman of the Match, but…

Fleming was an utter beast; notionally a double pivot but in fact ranging from box to box, crushing attacks, providing service…she was the whole package. Just an outstanding debut for her 2026 club season and one I hope we’ll see a lot more of.

Bogere (61′ – +6/-3 : +1/-0 : +7/-3) I’ve been reading a lot of praise for this Norwegian midfielder; lots of Thorns fans seem to reeeeally love her work.

I don’t get it.

Audi was typical of what I’ve seen from her; decent enough but raw (she’s only 20, so that’s not a shock) and unpolished. When she gets stuck in, fine, but she lacks the trained skillset of, say, Fleming, that enables her Canadian teammate to anticipate and get inside the opponents’ OODA loop and keep showing up. As her PMR shows, she wasn’t really a factor in this match.

Will she get better, working alongside Moultrie and Fleming?

That’d be great. We’ll see.

Harvey (29′ – +9/-0) Young Shae Harvey, on the other hand? I already like what I’m seeing! Defensive positioning, passing vision, pace, tough tackling…this rook looks like a complete package. We’ll see here, too, but her green shoots? I like them. A lot.

Turner (61′ – +1/-0 : +3/-2 : +4/-2) Much the same as the Tordin comment, with the additional “gah!” (exasperated waving of arms) at the awful 56th minute miss. I’m normally a Turner fanboi, but her work in D.C. last week was not her best.

Padelski (29′ – +8/-3) And, just as Harvey-for-Bogere, Padelski-for-Turner was an immediate turn-up-the-volume change. This player has a real striker’s nose for goal. Smart runs with her head on the swivel looking for teammates…another rookie that I’m already fond of and hoping to see more of.

Reyes (+5/-4 : +8/-1 : +13/-5) Shaky start that grew into the match and ended up owning La Rodman like a can of cheap-ass Dollar Store spaghetti sauce, which was fun to watch.

Hiatt (+5/-4 : +2/-1 : +7/-3) I’m still not sold.

While she, like the Thorns backline overall in the opener, was “good enough”, Hiatt has some really questionable moments when I wonder about her decision-making and field vision. She seems to me like a squad player, but because the club was unable (or unwilling, or too strapped) to bid for and reel in a Girma-grade centerback she’s what we’ve got at starting centerback. Who else is there?

Perry is still pretty raw, Daiane is on loan and is depth when she’s here, Calzada is an unknown quantity, and Immethun, while listed as a defender, seems to be played more often as a midfielder.

So it’s Hiatt, and I wish I had more confidence in her.

Obaze (+2/-1 : +9/-0 : +11/-1) Woke up after the half, and not before time. Gorgeous service and a hockey assist on the goal, so there’s that, too.

Vignola (+9/-6 : +9/-2 : +18/-8) Rough, rough first quarter hour. I’m not sure what was going on, but when you play Washington you know that they’re going to try and get Rodman in behind you. It’s like the cherry blossoms along the Potomac or seeing Trump’s bloated scowly face hanging from some random federal building – it’s just a thing they do in D.C.

Vignola must have known that, Lowdon certainly did and should have reminded her, and yet it took damn near a full three-quarters of an hour before Vignola figured how to anticipate that.

She did, mind, so, good, and ended up having an excellent match. But, word up…

Messner (+1/-1 : +0/-0 : +1/-1) Untroubled, which is way the fuck on the top of the “things I never thought I’d say about a Portland Thorns goalkeeper at Audi Field” list.

Coach…Lowdon?

My guess. I don’t see how the newly-hired gaffer could have had much input for this one. But…the change at halftime…did the new gaffer step in? Hmmm.

Either way, the soccer gods are capricious, and when they give you favor it’s best to seize it and be thankful. Next time the Wrath of Rodman might not be as destructive to her own cause.

So whoever’s was the guiding hand?

Well enough.