“Whoa, and it’s a hollow feelin’
When it comes down to dealin’ friends
It never ends.”
I wasn’t going to bother with this Women’s Concacaf match, and I still wouldn’t have bothered had not Rob Gale’s responses to the dreary 2-nil defeat on the UANL Tigres trashed pitch been so utterly, perfectly Ken:
“Thorns coach Rob Gale pushed back at the suggestion from a local media member after the game that the opening minutes were a “nightmare” for Portland.
“I totally disagree with that,” Gale said. “We controlled the ball. It was a set piece and a mistake. We camped out in Tigres’ territory the entire night, so it wasn’t a total nightmare.”
Gale asserted that the Thorns “…will learn from the experience,” but contended that his team was the superior side.
“I’m disappointed in the goals we conceded, they didn’t earn those goals,” Gale stated. “The second goal was just unfortunate and it gifted them the opportunity to control the game and slow it down. We’re a young team and we’ll learn from this, but the better team didn’t win tonight, I’ll argue that with anyone. We want to put this right in the next game.”
What makes it art is how well we the fandom know our Ken. Here’s a sample of the comments on the match thread:
Nailed it!
On the one hand, yes, it’s possible that the Thorns were “better”, in the sense of being better at “soccer-y-things” like passing and possession, than Tigres.
On the other…no. Fuck no.
“Better” in soccer is what the scoreline says you are, and the hosts grabbed a setpiece goal and an appalling Bella Bixby turnover and then relied on Portland to do KenBall Portland things – fail to finish, mishit passes, show a brutally ugly lack of understanding and coordination, freelance, just generally play like a rec league side meeting for the first time – to sit back, make that score stand up, and cruise to the Final.
UANL was the better team last night in the only way that counts.
The only reason I bothered to come here to even chat about this turd is how it screams of why I’m so hesitant to credit matches like Orlando here or Houston away as signs that “today is the day Rob Gale became Head Coach”.
Because we’ve seen this. Again and again, all the way back to Washington here in the Dead-Cat Bounce run of 2024. The squad comes out on fire. Plays well, looks good – intelligent, cohesive, informed – and dispatches their opponents. We smile and sit back, convinced that the organization has turned the corner.
The next game? Hot mess, just like this was. Possession without purpose. Grotesque defensive errors. Utter lack of coordination. Attacking futility.
And the signature issues of this season’s KenBall showing up all over the pitch. Castellanos at center forward? Check. Castellanos and Moultrie onfield together? Check. Turner as winger? Check. The whole mess resulting in mishit passes, turnovers, lack of quality chances, failure to finish the chances that are made? Check, check, check.
And Ken, after the beating, claiming to be the “better team” and that “we’re learning”, i.e. “the process is working”.
Jesus wept.
If there’s any one thing about this that I’m concerned about in a “more-than-the-usual-WFT-are-you-doing-in-training-Ken?” way it’s Bixby’s awful derp.
I’m not as convinced as a lot of fans that Bixby’s horrific 2023 was all about grief over her father. I think she’s got some fragility issues, and that each awful match built on the next to destroy her confidence until finally she was wrecked as a keeper, a hollow shell of the 2022 Bixby. I hoped that part of her post-partum rehab included working with a sport psychologist to help her with that.
The turnover in Neuvo Leon wasn’t just any old derp; it was genuinely horrific, and very much in the 2023 style. So I hope that Bix DID work with her psychologist and is shaking it off even as I type. Given how this season has gone, we need more 2022 Bixby.
But the bigger problem is that we still have the Ken of 2024.
And so long as we do, he’s gonna crap out crap like this.
I hope the FO gets that. And cares.
- Tequila Sunset - May 22, 2025
- Thorns FC: Houston Wild Wings - May 20, 2025
- Thorns FC: The Kindness of Strangers - May 13, 2025
For every step forward, we take a step back. Turner at RW? Castellanos at Striker? Nobody on the end of the passes from Hanks when she burns her defender to the endline? Its almost as if these things are connected.
I guess we just have to see what happens going forward, but the real telling story is going to be what the FO does in the next 3-4 months. Getting a real coach is the first step, because Gale simply isn’t cutting it.
I’m just going to enjoy Hanks on the wing, Sugita and her footwork on the ball, and Coffey being awesome. Perhaps I’ll even get to see Tordin play more.
Spot on, Chief. Especially about Bixby- could turn out to be the worst outcome for the Thorns from that game