Thorns FC: Empty

By way of Introduction

Most of you have figured out by now that I love soccer.

When I could I loved to play. Now that I’m too damaged and too old I still love the game, love to immerse myself inside it; with the people, those who play and others like me who love it, our challenges, our excitement and despair.

I love to arrive at the grounds early, to feel the anticipation, the hope and fear of the coming match. I love the hurley and bustle of the crowds, I love emerging from the press of the gate and the ringing concourse into the old stands and the green temple of the field beyond.

I love settling in to absorb the pre-match businesses; beer in hand fans choosing their spots, the ground crews at work, random kids at random play, and the team warmups, together all the careless, joyful goings-on of matchday.

Last Friday afternoon that included the usual pre-pre-game kid-scrimmage inside the north end penalty area. These looked mostly like older kids, and they were in street clothes, so probably not a youth club team or something.

Most of the play went on around “midfield”, which left the little goalkeeper at the east goal alone in her shiny blue sequined top and pink tulle’ tutu.

That was fine with her; she ran and spun and played, happy, like the rest of us, just to be at the park that day, in that time, with all the business of matchday and her family and friends around her, and I loved that, and her, and her family and friends, and all that is a day of soccer.

I write all this because of what I’m now going to have to write.

Any reviewer will admit that there’s a certain feral satisfaction in writing a rip. A scathing, brutal teardown of some piece of dross, a razoring of someone or something that’s utter crap. It’s not a very admirable quality, but it’s very human.

But there’s no joy in it, and joy is what I love about this game.

I don’t want to write a rip of the Thorns. I want to write joy, write happiness and admiration, write my praise of skills and determination, write about rainbows and kittens and love and hope.

And some day – soon, I hope – I will.

But Friday, after the sparkly tutus and the fireworks were over…

…things went to a very sad dark place indeed, and left me with a woeful story to tell.

I’m sorry.

Because last Friday the glass was completely…

Empty

After the tough, hard-fought loss on Matchday 19 in Washington I asked:

“Was the glass half-full, or half-empty?”

And answered it with the comment I wrote on the match thread over at Stumptown:

“I think what’s critical is what the squad takes away from this.

If it’s “Damn, we were SO CLOSE! We do this against Chicago and we spank them 4-1!!” then great. The players you mentioned DID have good games, and the midfield looked more organized and composed.

If it’s “Well…fuck. We did SO much better and STILL got beat”? Then not so much.

I guess we’ll see next weekend.”

Well…then the next weekend, and the Chicago Red Stars, came, and…

…only it was worse than that. This kind of worse:

The number in the red box? That’s brutal. That’s the probability of a goal from the Thorns’ actual shots.

The Thorns generated nothing going forward. Not a goddamn thing. For over 70 minutes. We’ll talk about that a lot in the comments.

A big reason for that was because of this stuff, which we see constantly from the current Thorns; the ball is in the backline, starting with Kelli Hubly’s crossfield pass to Mackenzie Arnold, who boots out to Becky Sauerbrunn.

You’ll notice all the people in Doritos orange standing around facing the ball.

Part of that was Chicago’s plan. I can’t find it now, but after the match I read a Chicago player (Roccaro? Don’t recall…) as saying that Coach Donaldson set them up to “trap” Portland into playing the ball in front of their press and catch them out.

But part of it is that this is how Ken trains them. So, sure enough, first Sauerbrunn went back to Arnold…

…then Arnold went back to ‘Brunn and ‘Brunn went out wide to Reyna Reyes along the touchline.

At this point Reyes has several forward options. She could play a diagonal pass into Hina Sugita for a 1-2, or Sugita could play a forward pass to Alex Spaanstra to her right or Sophia Smith wide left to play in to a Christine Sinclair diagonal run…

…or Sugita could play through the middle to Olivia Moultrie and from there to Spaanstra, or Smith, or a pushing-up Marie Muller.

But that’s not how this squad trains.

Instead Reyes does what you know she’s going to do; she drops back to ‘Brunn…

…who passes back to Arnold who – with no entry into midfield – just boots it long…

…right to Chicago…

…who gleeful accepts the gift and begins another attack.

This isn’t the results of opponents’ pressure. This is how Ken’s Thorns train. Don’t play through midfield, don’t move to space, don’t move or pass quickly. Take time, play wide, probe up the flanks, if pressed, drop back. Eventually huck a long lob downfield and hope Smith can latch onto it.

Donaldson’s troops knew this, anticipated it, so it was almost a matter of “when”, not “if” Moultrie was caught in possession along the east touchline…

…that she’d be boxed in by blue shirts and…

…forced to retreat.

Now…Moultrie had several inside options; a pass to Sugita, or Sam Coffey, or a turn in to try and escape the press and find space or a teammate.

But that’s not how she’s trained. Pressed? Drop pass!

So she did. Only this one was a dreadful, undercooked mess that rolled into space closer to Chicago’s Ally Schlegel than any of her teammates.

As the old guy in Indiana Jones says; “She chose…poorly“.

But that wasn’t the end of the training failures. Because at that point the Thorns had two chances to stop Schlegel; Hubly, – tackling her upfield – or Arnold, stoning her in goal.

Instead of working together, they RAN together – to the same spot on the field – in a remarkable display of miscommunication.

The real problem child with that was Arnold. With Hubly moving to the ball Arnold shouldn’t be there…

…she should have been here, or even closer to her line. All she did coming all the way out was to get in Hubly’s way. Poor, poor decision…or the result of poor training.

So instead of having two chances at stopping Schlegel Portland had one, and that chance was banjaxed when Hubly and Arnold collided…

…leaving Schlegel to romp cheerfully into space, and a goal, and the match.

Defensive mistakes, offensive sterility, no result…same shit different day, right?

This is not a playoff team right now.

This is not even a good team right now, which, given the individual quality on the roster is…well, we’ll get there.

Short Passes

Again, the raw stats are deceptive. OPTA has Portland connecting on 81% (441 passes), Chicago only slightly worse (78%, 385). It was the quality, and especially the quality of the attacking passes, that was Portland’s problem.

Here’s our “vaudevillian cane” blogger andre carlisle – first, Portland:

No.

We’ll talk about that.

But what’s more frustrating and infuriating is we’ve just watched Gale’s Thorns go across the backline up the touchline back down the touchline back across the backline…rinse, repeat. That’s almost all they fucking do.

And no wonder it doesn’t fucking work! Because forward of the fullbacks everyone’s narrow as hell and clustered up in a wodge.

Now Chicago:

I have no words.

Turnover and over.

Here’s how things are going

Opponent (Result) – 2024	Turnovers
Kansas City (L)	43
Gotham (L)	30
Louisville (D)	54
Carolina (L)	34
Houston (W)	No data
Chicago (W)	No data
Bay FC (W)	41
Washington (W)	26
Seattle (W)	20
Houston (W)	21
Orlando (L)	28
North Carolina (W)	27
Seattle (D)	26
Kansas City (L)	35
Utah (D)	35
San Diego (W)	30
Gotham (L)	43
Bay FC (L)	35
Washington (L)	35
Chicago (L)	35

Nineteen in the dire first half, 16 more in the second. As we’ve been seeing lately, the exceptionally dangerous circumstances of many of these – Moultrie’s 16th minute giveaway was only the worst of six other first half turnovers – made things worse than the raw numbers suggest.

Top of the loser board was Sophia Smith with six, although hers were in the “killed off an attack” column instead of the “led to danger to her own goal” variety. Kelli Hubly also threw away the ball six times, but hers, too, were mostly long lobs to nowhere. Not great, but not immediately dangerous.

Moultrie was very different, her five-and-a-half including the fatal oops on the goal. Nobody else had more than two, although several players’ giveaways were scary, including Muller and, rather surprisingly, Arnold, usually tidy with the ball at her feet.

Corner Kicks

Two, one in each half, all long.

Time	Taker	Short/Long?	Result
11′	Moultrie	Long	Poor, short kick that was easily cleared.
99′	Coffey	Long	Dangerous service that Naeher had to do well to get up and take.

Consistent with the Thorns “attack”; sparse and unproductive.

That said, the difference in the two different players’ service reminds my why I’m increasingly unimpressed with Moultrie over Coffey as corner kick taker. Just as she’s better on the pitch, Coffey is better from the corner spot.

But “getting players’ skillsets wrong” is kind of a Ken thing, so…

Throw-Ins

I counted Portland taking 32 throw-ins, Chicago 22.

Of Portland’s throw-ins I had 24 (75%) connecting successfully and five (15.6%) going to Washington. Three (9.3%) were “neutral”, going neither to Portland nor Chicago (usually meaning either out for another throw close to the original spot, or pinging around to be decided by actions onfield).

Also worth noting that 11 of Portland’s were in second half injury time, a result of Chicago’s late match desperation defending with Portland driving forward.

Chicago completed only eight throws (36.6%) and lost 11 (50%). Three (13.6%) were “neutral”.

Just a reminder that this opponent wasn’t Orlando or Gotham or Washington. The Red Stars are not a good team. But they were just good enough – or, rather, we were bad enough – on the day.

Here’s how that’s going:

Opponent	Advantage gained	Advantage lost	Opponent gain	Opponent loss
Kansas City	62.5%	8.3%	59.2%	40.1%
Gotham	62.8%	22.8%	57.1%	38%
Racing	84.3%	15.7%	43.7%	50%
Carolina	70.9%	29.2%	73%	27%
Houston
Chicago
Bay FC	64.2%	28.5%	71.4%	28.5%
Washington	41.6%	58.3%	62.5%	34.3%
Seattle	71.4%	14.2%	80%	20%
Houston	67.8%	25%	69.6%	30.3%
Orlando	76%	24%	73%	30.7%
Carolina	89.4%	5.2%	57.6%	26.9%
Seattle	85.7%	9.5%	68.7%	28.7%
Kansas City	70.7%	29.3%	72.7%	27.3%
Utah	65.5%	30%	50%	50%
San Diego
Gotham	47.6%	28.6%	50%	35%
BFC	63.6%	27.3%	62%	20%
Washington	60%	40%	72.2%	27.8%
Chicago	75%	15.6%	36.6%	50%
Average	68.2%	24.2%	61%	32.6%

Player Ratings and Comments

Smith (+5/-3 : +8/-5 : +13/-8) Same trouble; bad habits + bad training = poor outing.

Smith has, unsurprisingly, grown accustomed to doing everything herself because that’s Ken hero-ball and a Ken-rotating “supporting cast” that provides little in the way of support. It’s painful to watch and probably even more painful for Smith to live in.

Sinclair (75′ – +2/-1 : +2/-2 : +4/-3) I ended up in a pointless, frustrating example of “why you never argue with people over the internet” thing on the Stumptown match thread with someone who kept pointing out that 1) Sinc was hitting some good passes and as such was “having a good game” and “wasn’t to blame” for the loss, and that 2) haters like me weren’t giving her credit for that.

Here’s the thing.

As I pointed out in the last TFC: yes, Sinc has good soccer deep in her bones. She can pass well, she can be in good places given enough time.

But in all other aspects of the game she can no longer play at this level.

She’s utterly immobile. She can’t contribute consistently to the attack because she can’t keep up with Smith (or pretty much anyone else). She will score the occasional goal if her opponent gives her enough time and space (the person at Stumptown kept bringing up the Club America brace, as if going into a daycare and beating up preschoolers would make you a champion boxer…). But her lack of pace and inability to catch opposing dribblers or runners pulls her squad all out of shape having to cover for her. As many observers have noted, in open play the Thorns with Sinc on the field are effectively going 11 v 10 or 10.5 at best.

So, no. Sinc’s actually not helping the team. She’s not really “having a good game”.

That’s not her fault. Well, it kind of is, but only because she could have retired after 2022 full of honors, moved into the technical box to help show the young players how to do what she once did, and kept her local legend intact.

No, the “Sinclair Problem” is mostly on Ken. There’s no reason to start Sinc now with promising youngsters like Spaanstra and Turner and Linnehan (and what the fuck is happening to Linnehan, anyway) here and Morgan Weaver returning.

There’s absolutely no reason to play Sinc for over 70 minutes!

I have no idea why Ken insists on slamming Sinc’s head and his teams’ heads and our heads into this fucking wall. It’s not fucking working! Try something, anything, else!

But that’s part of the whole problem and we’re gonna get there.

Fleming (15′ – no rating)

Moultrie (66′ – +0/-4 : +0/-0 : +0/-4) After a string of disappointing outings Moultrie just fell off the table against Chicago. Slow, indecisive, poor choices…a walking catalog of deadly soccer sins. How much is her individual form, how much is coaching…hard to tell.

The team as a whole looks awful, but Moultrie is one player who looks like she’s actually regressing as an individual. I hope it’s reversible but until it is there’s no reason to start her over Fleming, even as meh as Fleming has been.

Weaver (24′ – +7/-0) It’s no coincidence that replacing Moultrie with Weaver changed the entire character of the Thorns. Suddenly there were Doritos shirts everywhere, suddenly Chicago was back on their heels, forced into the shadow of the North End.

Morgan is still the Happy Warrior, and I love her for that. She’s also the Designated Team Comedian, fun we’ve missed since the end of Emily Sonnett’s time here. Here she is, showing the assistant referee the Universal Sign of Diving:

Did I mention how much I love the hell out of Morgan Weaver? Yup.

Had a gorgeous run and blast off a perfect Smith cross in the 74th minute that was unluckily right at Naeher. The two are a double shot of expresso, and hopefully they will revitalize the Portland attack. But for this one, too little, too late.

Spaanstra (75′ – +4/-1 : +2/-1 : +6/-2) Spaanstra is a good winger; three of her pluses are for terrific crosses that, unfortunately, were either well defended or couldn’t find a target. She’s a promisingly pacey and intelligent player hampered by a slow, dumbed-down system.

Turner (15′ – no rating) I think Turner is similar to Spaanstra but, like her, is hampered by 1) Ken’s insistence on starting Sinc up top, which pulls the front line all out of shape while 2) Ken’s constant rotation of forward lineups and positions.

Now that Weaver is back I’m not sure who sits as Weaver’s minutes increase. But Turner and Linnehan look most vulnerable, which is too bad.

Sugita (90′ – +1/-1 : +4/-1 : +5/-2) Having shown Ken why she should play further up the pitch with her banger in Washington, Hina-san‘s reward was another long day grinding out defense in what in Kenball passes as a double pivot.

Then at the stroke of time, this horror:

Just an awful accident as the Chicago player flew into her head-to-head, but Sugita-senshu looked awful coming off the field. Surely a bad concussion and possibly some facial injury; broken cheekbone or orbit? Well, shit.

I won’t be surprised if Sugita is still out with concussion protocols for the ACFC match 9/23.

D’Aquila (~13′ – no rating) Ken’s weird roster decisions; you might have had Payton Linnehan – promising, fast, proven dangerous – and you’ve just sparked your attack by replacing Moultrie with Weaver and Sinc with Fleming when one of your best midfielders has to go off injured.

But no. All you have is D’Aquila, who is to attacking soccer what heroin is to wakefulness. And, as predictable as a junkie on the nod, D’Aquila added precisely nothing.

Coffey (+2/-1 : +13/-1 : +15/-1) A Tale of Two Halves.

I think that Andre Carlisle is right (see his comment on the Thorns passing diagram in the Washington post); Ken is trying to make Sam Coffey sit deep as a pure destroyer. That’s stupid and fucked-up, but that’s just the kind of “tactics” Ken would think up.

I’m not sure if he was desperate enough to let her go, or whether Coffey just shook his leash off in the second half herownself, but her pluses after the break include three passes, four dangerous attacking moves, two crosses, and two good set-piece deliveries. Suddenly she was her old attacking #6 self and once the dead weight was off the pitch helped the club look dangerous.

Reyes (83′ – +5/-3 : +1/-0 : +6/-3) Chicago was not really dangerous so the backline had little to do and mostly did it decently. Reyes was solid defensively; her minuses include two passes though both were fairly risky turnovers that Chicago was too shit to do anything with.

Unlucky on the penalty foul:

It was a foul, but not nearly as brutal as it looked from the north end. Like a lot of Thorns soccer that day, just snakebit.

Payne (7′- no rating) I get the idea; Payne fast, need a goal, so. The problem is that Ken’s “system” is such a mess that Payne’s pace doesn’t really add anything effective because there’s no connection for her to fit into. It’s like throwing another egg into a pot of soup. Could it help? Sure. Will it? Who knows. It’s like having a USB cable but no USB port; there’s no system there to plug her into so it’s just flailing.

Sauerbrunn (+3/-0 : +3/-1 : +6/-1) Like I said; little to do, did it well enough. For once the defending wasn’t a problem but largely because Chicago was so lame.

Hubly (+1/-4 : +3/-0 : +4/-4) Sorta had her Usual Hubly Derp^(TM) on the Schlegel goal (but, as noted, that was largely on Arnold), but otherwise same-same as the rest of the backline.

Muller (+7/-2 : +6/-4 : +13/-6) Best of the backline, largely going forward (eight of her pluses are for attacking actions) but decent defending, too. Good outing on an otherwise sad day.

Arnold (+2/-2 : +1/-0 : +3/-2) The book on Macca Arnold was how strong she was against the penalty spot for Australia in the ’23 World Cup.

We had a chance to see how strong in the 49th minute. And here’s the thing about that; I think it was not just strong, but smart.

The Prime announcers were all about how Arnold “started the wrong way” as Swanson approached the ball:

I don’t think it was “wrong” at all; I think Arnold was baiting Swanson.

That’s a controlled step. I think Arnold wanted Swanson to think she was diving to her (Arnold’s) left so Swanson would play a safe, easy shot well inside Arnold’s right post.

After all, the usual “best penalty” shot is a riskier, harder drive just barely inside the post. Overcook it a skosh and you miss wide. Lean back just a bit and you sky over.

If the keeper’s gonna guess and dive one way early, why not just casually pot a nice easy shot the other way?

HA! Gotcha!

Coach Ken: It’s time.

You’ve had chances. You have a roster that may not be “stacked” but is easily in the top half of the league, yet your poor lineup choices and incoherent, regressive “tactics” have your club in real danger of dropping out of that top half.

Your halftime interview was nuts; at one point you said that your club had been the better side through the break. WTF? Which game were you watching? Yes, Chicago was shit. Your mob was down a goal to them. The better side? What the hell?

I’m not sure if you’re just clueless – you don’t see the problems that are so obviously on your training and “tactics” that even a blogging fan like me can’t miss them – or actually so deluded that you think the problem isn’t that coaching but bad luck and lack of a “killer instinct”.

Either way, the results are so painful that even though the available alternatives (Sarah Lowdon? Vytas? Mark Parsons??!!) are completely opaque the immediate need is to stop the slide, and right now that means #GaleOut.

I’m not happy to write that.

I think you’re a decent guy. I think you want your team to be happy and confident and successful.

I just think you don’t know how to help them do that. Worse, I think you’re actively harming their efforts to do that.

It’s time to try someone new.

Addendum: Over at Stumptown Phuoc Nguyen has written an obituary for the 2024 Thorns.

First he brings in the receipts on LeBlanc (for poor roster building) and Gale (for poor tactics and player utilization). Then he concludes that:

“The memories of the 2022 NWSL Championship are quickly fading due to questionable decisions, roster construction, and failure to keep up with the modern day NWSL. There is already tons of pressure and calls for change. A decision of that magnitude will be a crucial one. Expect the club to use the rest of the season as part of their due diligence to decide the best route moving forward.”

I won’t disagree. Gale needs to go now. LeBlanc, well…before the offseason, at the latest. Norris…why even keep him? Because he’s a nice guy? Fuck, I’m a nice guy and I have no more business being part of running a soccer club than he does.

I stand by my comment on the linked piece:

“I tend to push the “beginning of the end” even further back – to the end of Parsons tenure and the Riley scandal breaking in 2020-2021. The troubles caused by Paulson’s increasingly erratic and irresponsible behavior, his unwillingness to expedite the sale and lack of investment in the club during that period…it built up a store of problems the ‘22 star just kind of papered over.

That’s why I’d hoped the Bhathals would come in hot and sweep out the nasty remnants of Paulson. That they didn’t has helped put us where we are now.”

And where we are now is a sad, hollow, empty place.