The Thorns Prediction Game

We’re headed for the door to the playoffs, but there’s still time to nick a point or three, both here and on the pitch, and the Thorns obliged us a week or so ago by slapping the visiting Reign upside the head and sending them home all sad and blue.

Unfortunately for our punters, none of us could imagine such a honeyfall, so while three of our four players got the result nobody had the score, or Bella Bixby’s clean sheet. Since Seattle players had touches on both goals, despite everyone getting Morgan Weaver on the scoresheet nobody could get the assist bonus. Thrakkorzog nicked the “fun” points for ‘Pinoe and the North End exchanging Double Bird salutes.

Campeon de AperturaPoints

Torneo de Clausura:

NameLast MatchThis MatchClausura Total
Daniel Stratton19120


This coming weekend we’ve got the now-second-place San Diego Wave coming in looking for revenge for their most recent loss and the win to put them into the Shield-presumptive.

Since the IR won’t drop until Friday it’s too soon to tell who we’ll see, but the chances are that Sophia Smith will still be rehabbing. That we’ll see significant Sinclair seems likely but the Tuesday qualifier against Jamaica might see her benched or on limited minutes; granny might need a nice nap even by late Saturday night.

San Diego is likely to be missing only Dahlkemper and possibly McNabb.

I won’t kid you; I’m 1) nervous about this, because the Thorns’ form has been “win-one-lose-one-draw-one” this year, and 2) unsure of where San Diego is right now. They’ve been solid – 10 points from the last six games – but holy Hell have they dropped some real clangers; 1-nil to Chicago back in July and 1-2 to Kansas City just this last game.

Which Thorns will run out to meet which Waves? I kinda got nothin’.

(Last meeting: May 26, 2023, Snapdragon Stadium, 1-1 draw)

How all this works:
Add a comment to this post. As your first line, put your predicted result, for example 3-1 Thorns.

In the body of your comment, start with the goals and assists, like so:
Smith (Klingenberg)
Kuikka (Free kick)
Moultrie (Unassisted)
Marta (PK)

Next, name the first yellow card recipient: Jess Fishlock
Then a red card. (NOTE: no points awarded for correctly calling a red-card-free match, so take a guess.) Madison Pogarch for mimicking mooning the referee after getting an undeserved yellow.

Make your fun prediction,and give a “thumbs up” to anybody else’s prediction that tickles your fancy: “Pogarch gets the start against her former club. She gets through 70 minutes without fouling her former teammates until she can’t take it anymore. She pushes over Hina, gives Weaver a wedgie, gives Sinc a noogie, then flips off the Riveters and runs out of Providence Park, never to be seen again. The ref issues a red card, which she later contests, and loses.” (h/t to ABell4)

· Correct score: 5 points
· Correct result (draw/win/loss): 3 points
· Each clean sheet: 2 points
· Each goal-scorer: 1 point
· Each FK/PK/assist/lack of assist: 1 point
· Goal/assist bonus: 1 point
· Player with the first yellow card of the match: 1 point
· A player with a red card: 1 point
· Most liked/most outrageously accurate prediction: 2 points

Some ground rules and explanations/clarifications (the fine print):
Comments must be posted before kickoff, but you can edit or amend an earlier prediction right up to the starting whistle.

Keep your scoreline predictions realistic. No crazy scores just to pad out your odds of getting goals and assists.

The goal/assist bonus is an additional point if you predict the correct scorer and assistant on the same goal, for example, you say Hubly scores from a Boureille assist and that is exactly what happens. P.S. if you say exactly that, and it happens, I will hunt you down and buy you a beer!

Be clear whether you think a goal will be unassisted, assisted, or from a PK/FK. Unassisted = no assist, run of play; Assisted = player who got the assist; PK/FK = not in run of play. For the purposes of this thread, Penalty Kick and Free Kick are the same thing. No entry means unassisted.

John Lawes
Latest posts by John Lawes (see all)

5 thoughts on “The Thorns Prediction Game

  1. 2-0

    Sauerbrunn helps bring unprecedented back to back shutouts and wins.

    Hina (Coffey)

    YC Kuikka
    RC Morgan

    Frustrated with another no call instead of taking it to Twitter after the game Alex cleats the center referee spikes up in the knee to show what she thinks the tackle she avoided was like.

  2. 3-0 Thorns


    YC: Korniek
    RC: Hurley

    Knowing how important this game is, Hubs decides to try for a repeat of the 10 woman Courage miracle by politely asking the center ref to f#@k off in the first few minutes of play. Amazingly, this actually works and the Thorns come away with a decisive victory.

  3. 2-1 Thorns



    The Thorns rember losing the shield by a point after tying the last place team and refuse to succumb again!


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