The Thorns Prediction Game

Again…I apologize for last game’s late posting. No excuses.

I was going to void the results from last match simply because my own sloth shut out nearly everyone…but I felt bad about that; Daniel Stratton took the time to predict (and got one scorer – Weaver – right) so I thought it was fair to give the point.

Campeon de AperturaPoints

Torneo de Clausura:

NameLast MatchThis MatchClausura Total
Daniel Stratton18119


This coming Saturday the Auld Enemy comes to town; the soon-to-no-longer-be-Olympique Pugettrais, OL Reign.

Seattle is currently lying fourth, two points off the Thorns’ second place and three behind the San Diego Wave.

Where Portland’s form has been all over, the former Queens were plunging into the toilet – three losses in a row – before a 1-nil home win over Orlando saved them from despair. What that will mean for this one is hard to say.

We know that Sophia Smith will be out Saturday, so somehow the Thorns will need to find goals. Where from? The squad has found only one goal a game over the last five games (1W-1D-3L) and that’s prettified by the improbable two scored shorthanded against Carolina here.

Other than that the IR isn’t up, so it’s hard to be sure who’ll we’ll see. The US callups – Dunn and Coffey for the Thorns, anyway – shouldn’t have kicked in before Saturday. It’d be nice to see Sauerbrunn back in, but she’s still “questionable” at best, I think. Rapinoe could very well appear for Seattle this weekend and she’s always a reliable pest here.

I won’t kid you; I think this could get ugly. These teams don’t like each other, and both are hurting. I’m honestly not sure which way this could go.

Here’s the thing, though: the clock is running down. This one will leave three games to go before the postseason. The Thorns need to win out, and San Diego take a loss to bag a Shield. Anything less – combined with good work by Seattle and either Carolina or Gotham or both – risks dropping out of the top two and into the play-in round.

I’m nervous as a cat.


Last meeting: June 3, 2023, Lumin Field, 0-2 Portland win

How all this works:
Add a comment to this post. As your first line, put your predicted result, for example 3-1 Thorns.

In the body of your comment, start with the goals and assists, like so:
Smith (Klingenberg)
Kuikka (Free kick)
Moultrie (Unassisted)
Marta (PK)

Next, name the first yellow card recipient: Jess Fishlock
Then a red card. (NOTE: no points awarded for correctly calling a red-card-free match, so take a guess.) Madison Pogarch for mimicking mooning the referee after getting an undeserved yellow.

Make your fun prediction,and give a “thumbs up” to anybody else’s prediction that tickles your fancy: “Pogarch gets the start against her former club. She gets through 70 minutes without fouling her former teammates until she can’t take it anymore. She pushes over Hina, gives Weaver a wedgie, gives Sinc a noogie, then flips off the Riveters and runs out of Providence Park, never to be seen again. The ref issues a red card, which she later contests, and loses.” (h/t to ABell4)

· Correct score: 5 points
· Correct result (draw/win/loss): 3 points
· Each clean sheet: 2 points
· Each goal-scorer: 1 point
· Each FK/PK/assist/lack of assist: 1 point
· Goal/assist bonus: 1 point
· Player with the first yellow card of the match: 1 point
· A player with a red card: 1 point
· Most liked/most outrageously accurate prediction: 2 points

Some ground rules and explanations/clarifications (the fine print):
Comments must be posted before kickoff, but you can edit or amend an earlier prediction right up to the starting whistle.

Keep your scoreline predictions realistic. No crazy scores just to pad out your odds of getting goals and assists.

The goal/assist bonus is an additional point if you predict the correct scorer and assistant on the same goal, for example, you say Hubly scores from a Boureille assist and that is exactly what happens. P.S. if you say exactly that, and it happens, I will hunt you down and buy you a beer!

Be clear whether you think a goal will be unassisted, assisted, or from a PK/FK. Unassisted = no assist, run of play; Assisted = player who got the assist; PK/FK = not in run of play. For the purposes of this thread, Penalty Kick and Free Kick are the same thing. No entry means unassisted.

John Lawes
Latest posts by John Lawes (see all)

5 thoughts on “The Thorns Prediction Game

  1. 3-1 Thorns

    Kuikka (it’s been a while)


    YC: Fishy
    RC: Pinoe

    In keeping with tradition Megan Rapinoe and the crowd share an endearing farewell moment by simultaneously raising the middle finger to each other Unfortunately the sideline ref takes it personally and Megan is red carded. She proudly marches off the field while receiving a thunderous applause from the stands.

  2. 2-2
    Weaver (Moultrie)
    Dunn (Coffey)

    Pinoe (PK)

    YC Kuikka
    RC Menges

    Menges pulls a Luiz Suarez in handball on the goal line red card that leads to Pinoe PK. (No biting)

    1. This is what I get for picking them to drop points at home this year. Great game. The pressure was absorbed well in the second half. Good turtle shell team defense in the second half. Even if we gave away more corners with Hubly in replacement of Sauerbrunn. Looking forward to your analysis later in the week.

      A couple of very good saves from Bixby keeping a clean sheet.

      At home this year.
      6 wins, 1 loss, 2 draws. With the Kansas City loss being a big eye sore this year.

      I put to much stock on Seattle having our number so often. Will be interesting to see who is back and ready for the 30th. If Coffey, and Dunn do 180 over both games, that would not be ideal for us. With the farewell match(es) for others perhaps their minutes are limited.

  3. 2-1 we win

    Weaver (Sugita)
    Rodriguez (Sinc)

    Fishlock (Huerta)

    YC Huerta
    RC Bixby

    I had to sell my tickets because I got covid. I sold them for $30 each because I
    like to think someone who was broke got to go. My partner says a Reign fan probably got them. I don’t have a good (or any) prediction in me right now.

  4. 2-1 Thorns

    Betfort – Coffey

    Pinoe corner)

    YC Fish

    I dropped my (6’) child at college today. The Thorns, kindly recognizing that I simply have no more tolerance for loss, somehow play better than it appears they can.


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