It was going to happen eventually.
What was frustrating about the Thorns’ first loss of the season was that it wasn’t after a titanic boss fight with league heavyweights Washington or Seattle but in a desultory skirmish in the bogs of Houston against a team that can barely whip it’s weight in weasels.
The Thorns fell apart after the first half-hour, shipped two crap goals, couldn’t convert (again!) and generally looked stale, flat, and unprofitable.
Our ever-optimistic punters took the hit as well.
No one got the score or the result, and with Bixby conceding twice no clean sheet points were on offer. However, Thrakkorzog made two bulls-eye calls on scorer/assists for the Dunn and Salmon goals as well as collecting points for the piratical adventures of the traveling supporters to vault into the lead
|Last Match Total
It’s a two-horse race at this point, but there’s a lot of season to go.
This coming Sunday the Chicago Red Stars visit the summery side of Southwest Portland. Chicago is a dumpster fire; 1-5-1 and -7GD. The Red Stars haven’t won a game since mid-April, and their victim then was only the similarly-hapless Kansas City Current.
The two sides haven’t met in 2023, and, as we discussed over the winter, Chicago in 2023 is very different from Chicago was in 2022.
To start with, the attack was devastated when Mallory Swanson tore her
ACL patellar tendon playing for the Nats. With Swanson out for the season the goalscoring has vanished; rookie Penelope Hocking has two, Ella Stevens has two and nobody else has more than a single.
At the other end of the pitch the Red Stars make our defense look like the Great Wall of Emily Returned:
Normally I’d expect Alyssa Naeher to have been the rock on which opponents’ attacks break…but this season? Yike.
But. The Thorns looked like a disorganized mess in Houston, and have struggled to take points over the last three games. The club needs – really needs – a win over the visitors this weekend.
So; two teams desperate for a win will collide in the baking heat of a sudden summer Thunderdome.
How all this works:
Add a comment to this post. As your first line, put your predicted result, for example 3-1 Thorns.
In the body of your comment, start with the goals and assists, like so:
Kuikka (Free kick)
Next, name the first yellow card recipient: Jess Fishlock
Then a red card. (NOTE: no points awarded for correctly calling a red-card-free match, so take a guess.) Madison Pogarch for mimicking mooning the referee after getting an undeserved yellow.
Make your fun prediction,and give a “thumbs up” to anybody else’s prediction that tickles your fancy:“Pogarch gets the start against her former club. She gets through 70 minutes without fouling her former teammates until she can’t take it anymore. She pushes over Hina, gives Weaver a wedgie, gives Sinc a noogie, then flips off the Riveters and runs out of Providence Park, never to be seen again. The ref issues a red card, which she later contests, and loses.” (h/t to ABell4)
· Correct score: 5 points
· Correct result (draw/win/loss): 3 points
· Each clean sheet: 2 points
· Each goal-scorer: 1 point
· Each FK/PK/assist/lack of assist: 1 point
· Goal/assist bonus: 1 point
· Player with the first yellow card of the match: 1 point
· A player with a red card: 1 point
· Most liked/most outrageously accurate prediction: 2 points
Some ground rules and explanations/clarifications (the fine print):
Comments must be posted before kickoff, but you can edit or amend an earlier prediction right up to the starting whistle.
Keep your scoreline predictions realistic. No crazy scores just to pad out your odds of getting goals and assists.
The goal/assist bonus is an additional point if you predict the correct scorer and assistant on the same goal, for example, you say Hubly scores from a Boureille assist and that is exactly what happens. P.S. if you say exactly that, and it happens, I will hunt you down and buy you a beer!
Be clear whether you think a goal will be unassisted, assisted, or from a PK/FK. Unassisted = no assist, run of play; Assisted = player who got the assist; PK/FK = not in run of play. For the purposes of this thread, Penalty Kick and Free Kick are the same thing. No entry means unassisted.