The Thorns Prediction Game

From the ridiculous embarrassment of shipping two goals in the final ten minutes to ringing up four unanswered, the Thorns certainly had a roller-coaster of a week.

[0-4 win, Naughton (OG), Smith (PK), Moultrie (Smith), Smith (Moultrie), first yellow = Groom, no red card.]

NameLast MatchSeason Total
Constant Weeder37

Special mention to new entrant Roses, who jumped into a tie for fourth as well as getting the votes for her vision of Canadian politesse on the pitch.

This Sunday the Orlando Shame return to Providence Park for the first time since July 2021 when the visitors fell 2-1. That wasn’t exactly a shock; since Orlando entered the league in 2016 they have played the Thorns 14 times, winning two and drawing two. Orlando is kept from holding the wooden spoon only by The Damned Courage’s horrific early season, but their 18GA is by far and away the worst in the league.

[Last meeting: August 14, 2021 at Exploria Stadium, 1-1 draw]

How this works:
Add a comment to this post. As your first line, put your predicted result, for example 3-1 Thorns.

In the body of your comment, start with the goals and assists, like so:
Smith (Klingenberg)
Salem (Free kick)
Moultrie (Unassisted)
Williams (PK)

Next, name the first yellow card recipient: Merritt Mathias
Then a red card. (NOTE: no points awarded for correctly calling a red-card-free match, so take a guess.) Madison Pogarch for mimicking mooning the referee after getting an undeserved yellow.

Make your fun prediction,and give a “thumbs up” to anybody else’s prediction that tickles your fancy: The two teams meet up in the parking lot before the game to burn an effigy of Paul Riley. Nadine Angerer produces not one but two lighters from her pockets.

· Correct score: 5 points
· Correct result (draw/win/loss): 3 points
· Each clean sheet: 2 points
· Each goal-scorer: 1 point
· Each FK/PK/assist/lack of assist: 1 point
· Goal/assist bonus: 1 point
· Player with the first yellow card of the match: 1 point
· A player with a red card: 1 point
· Most liked/most outrageously accurate prediction: 2 points

Some ground rules and explanations/clarifications (the fine print):
Comments must be posted before kickoff, but you can edit or amend an earlier prediction right up to the starting whistle.

Keep your scoreline predictions realistic. No crazy scores just to pad out your odds of getting goals and assists.

The goal/assist bonus is an additional point if you predict the correct scorer and assistant on the same goal, for example, you say Hubly scores from a Boureille assist and that is exactly what happens. P.S. if you say exactly that, and it happens, I will hunt you down and buy you a beer!

Be clear whether you think a goal will be unassisted, assisted, or from a PK/FK. Unassisted = no assist, run of play; Assisted = player who got the assist; PK/FK = not in run of play. For the purposes of this thread, Penalty Kick and Free Kick are the same thing. No entry means unassisted.

John Lawes
Latest posts by John Lawes (see all)

8 thoughts on “The Thorns Prediction Game

  1. Thorns 3-1 Pride

    Sinclair (Smith)
    Weaver (Coffey)
    Smith (PK)
    Jenkins (James)

    YC: Montefusco
    RC: Jonsdottir

    Having learned that the NWSL doesn’t enforce its roster rules, J-M. Aulas decides to stock OL Reign with a dozen additional players to be rented out to the rest of the league on a per-game basis during the international break.

    1. Since both Sinclair and Weaver are listed as unavailable I’m revising my predictions for Thorns scoring:

      Smith (Sugita)
      Rodriguez (unassisted)
      Smith (PK)

  2. 2-0 Thorns

    Smith (Hina)
    Sinc (Smith)

    YC : Montefusco

    This crazy-cold Portland “summer” results in a bitterly cold snowstorm during the waning minutes of the game. Completely unprepared, rightfully gobsmacked, & lulled by their experience w/ balmy Floridian weather, the Pride players huddle together for warmth on the pitch, resulting in Sincy’s goal

  3. We will see what returning/not returning from internationals will do to this team. There isn’t really a better way to entering a break then a 6-0 scorelines with a Broom goal, with a meme goal celebration, smith brace, Hina and Janine connection.

    All our wins have been shut outs with at least 3 goals scored. The offense is on fire early this year.

    The end of the game was a game where 1 team had given up. Watching the replays I still don’t understand how Kuikka was so open for that goal. She had two players on her on the goal like and when she managed to pass the ball both defenders ignored her and stood in empty space sort of close to players on the wing.

    Good awareness to find her from Olivia. Against the garbage team performances 16 is looking very good pushed up top. Good to see, at least this time of year, we are not playing down to inferior opposition.

    1. Both the Kuikka goal and the Porter goal pretty much shouted “We give up!”. The Shame had utterly broken down by that point.


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