The Thorns Prediction Game

Well, that was…disappointing.

After going up two goals the Thorns shipped two in the final ten minutes – both from Taylor Kornieck, the same player who hurt them during the wild 3-2 Challenge Cup match. This time Korneick stole two of three points and sent the Thorns away with their second 2-2 draw in the last three games.

[2-2 draw, Smith (PK), Sinclair (Coffey), Korneick (Ali), Korneick (Westphal), first yellow = Rodriguez, no red card.]

NameLast MatchSeason Total
Constant Weeder44

Now the Thorns have to travel to that steambath they call Houston, where the second place Houston Dash remain two points above Portland. A win could jump the Thorns over Houston, but to do that would require Orlando to beat Chicago on Sunday.

Which Portland will show up in Houston? The one that laid three goals on KC and San Diego? Or the one that dropped points in Chicago and SanDiego.

[Last meeting: May 21, 2022 at Providence Park, 0-2 Thorns loss.]

How this works:
Add a comment to this post. As your first line, put your predicted result, for example 3-1 Thorns.

In the body of your comment, start with the goals and assists, like so:
Smith (Klingenberg)
Salem (Free kick)
Moultrie (Unassisted)
Williams (PK)

Next, name the first yellow card recipient: Merritt Mathias
Then a red card. (NOTE: no points awarded for correctly calling a red-card-free match, so take a guess.) Madison Pogarch for mimicking mooning the referee after getting an undeserved yellow.

Make your fun prediction,and give a “thumbs up” to anybody else’s prediction that tickles your fancy: The two teams meet up in the parking lot before the game to burn an effigy of Paul Riley. Nadine Angerer produces not one but two lighters from her pockets.

· Correct score: 5 points
· Correct result (draw/win/loss): 3 points
· Each clean sheet: 2 points
· Each goal-scorer: 1 point
· Each FK/PK/assist/lack of assist: 1 point
· Goal/assist bonus: 1 point
· Player with the first yellow card of the match: 1 point
· A player with a red card: 1 point
· Most liked/most outrageously accurate prediction: 2 points

Some ground rules and explanations/clarifications (the fine print):
Comments must be posted before kickoff, but you can edit or amend an earlier prediction right up to the starting whistle.

Keep your scoreline predictions realistic. No crazy scores just to pad out your odds of getting goals and assists.

The goal/assist bonus is an additional point if you predict the correct scorer and assistant on the same goal, for example, you say Hubly scores from a Boureille assist and that is exactly what happens. P.S. if you say exactly that, and it happens, I will hunt you down and buy you a beer!

Be clear whether you think a goal will be unassisted, assisted, or from a PK/FK. Unassisted = no assist, run of play; Assisted = player who got the assist; PK/FK = not in run of play. For the purposes of this thread, Penalty Kick and Free Kick are the same thing. No entry means unassisted.

Sorry for the late entry; the game thread will usually be posted 48 hours before each match but this week’s short turnaround meant I had to scramble like a Thorns centerback in San Diego to put this one together. Here you go.

John Lawes
Latest posts by John Lawes (see all)

6 thoughts on “The Thorns Prediction Game

  1. Thorns 1-2 Dash

    Kuikka (unassisted)
    Daly (Prince)
    Prince (Daly)

    YC Sinclair
    RC Groom

    Temperatures and humidity being Houston-hellacious, the players sweat a lot. Sinclair and Schmidt come together on a 50-50 ball. The stickiness in the air causes them to temporarily adhere and Sinclair appears to be holding Schmidt, drawing the yellow.

  2. 3-1 Dash

    Prince (Daly)
    Daly (Groom)
    Daly (Hanson)
    Smith (Hina)

    YC: Groom
    RC: Campbell

    Groom starts whining from the opening whistle (no one knows why), earning herself a yellow card in the first 30 seconds, which easily breaks the record for fastest yellow earned in a pro football match.

    1. I hear Daly is skipping the game. Revised pick:

      1-1 tie
      Prince (Groom)
      Smith (Hina)

      All else remains the same

  3. 2-1 Thorns.

    Smith (Sinc)
    Sinc (Hina)
    Prince (Groom)

    Groom gets a YC

    There are so many canadians on the pitch at one time that a powerful force of niceness takes over the crowd.

  4. Thorns 2-1 Dash

    Sugita (Smith)
    Coffey (unassisted)
    Visalli (Groom)

    YC: Chapman
    RC: Hanson

    On a Thorns corner kick by Smith, Hubly draws so many defenders that Sugita is able to score on a header.

  5. Maybe a bit overly optimistic, but I’m going 2-0 Thorns.

    Smith (Sinc)
    Sinc (Hina)

    YC: Groom
    RC: Groom

    It’s Sinc’s 39th birthday, so at halftime the mayor of Houston comes onto the pitch with a goat to give Sinc keys to the city, and to the dismay of Houston supporters both are decked out in Thorns gear.


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