The Thorns Prediction Game


Reply hazy, ask again later?

At the risk of injecting levity into an already very-much-NWSL-After-Dark season, we’re going to try our hands at this familiar feature of Riveting! – the Prediction Game – and see how things go.

Because it’s a short turnaround week, we’re jumping right in.

This Wednesday the Thorns (4th/9pts, 2-1-3 [2-1-2/0-0-1]) travel to San Diego (1st/13pts, 4-2-1 [2-0-0/2-2-1]) to take on the league-leading Wave. The Thorns are coming off a 3-nil win over the other Cali club, Angel City, while the Wave nicked a point in Kansas City last weekend through a 90th minute Alex Morgan goal.

I mocked the Ripples through the Challenge Cup, but the sea state in San Diego has gone from wavelets to a tsunami in the regular season; the Wave tore through the league in matchdays 1 through 4, taking nine points. Since then they have cooled a bit, bagging only one of a possible six from matchdays 5 and 6.

The Thorns are 2-0-0 against the Wave, beating them 0-1 in their Cup opener and then 3-2 here in the return fixture…but that was in another country and besides, that Wave is dead. The revived San Diego is a whole ‘nother critter.


In case you don’t remember, here’s…

How this works:
Add a comment to this post. As your first line, put your predicted result, for example 3-1 Thorns.

In the body of your comment, start with the goals and assists, like so:
Smith (Klingenberg)
Salem (Free kick)
Moultrie (Unassisted)
Williams (PK)

Next, name the first yellow card recipient: Merritt Mathias
Then a red card. (NOTE: no points awarded for correctly calling a red-card-free match, so take a guess.) Madison Pogarch for mimicking mooning the referee after getting an undeserved yellow.

Make your fun prediction,and give a “thumbs up” to anybody else’s prediction that tickles your fancy: The two teams meet up in the parking lot before the game to burn an effigy of Paul Riley. Nadine Angerer produces not one but two lighters from her pockets.

· Correct score: 5 points
· Correct result (draw/win/loss): 3 points
· Each clean sheet: 2 points
· Each goal-scorer: 1 point
· Each FK/PK/assist/lack of assist: 1 point
· Goal/assist bonus: 1 point
· Player with the first yellow card of the match: 1 point
· A player with a red card: 1 point
· Most liked/most outrageously accurate prediction: 2 points

Some ground rules and explanations/clarifications (the fine print):
Comments must be posted before kickoff, but you can edit or amend an earlier prediction right up to the starting whistle.

Keep your scoreline predictions realistic. No crazy scores just to pad out your odds of getting goals and assists.

The goal/assist bonus is an additional point if you predict the correct scorer and assistant on the same goal, for example, you say Hubly scores from a Boureille assist and that is exactly what happens. P.S. if you say exactly that, and it happens, I will hunt you down and buy you a beer!

Be clear whether you think a goal will be unassisted, assisted, or from a PK/FK. Unassisted = no assist, run of play; Assisted = player who got the assist; PK/FK = not in run of play. For the purposes of this thread, Penalty Kick and Free Kick are the same thing. No entry means unassisted.

John Lawes
Latest posts by John Lawes (see all)

8 thoughts on “The Thorns Prediction Game

  1. 2-1 Wave

    Morgan – PK
    Turnbow/ Jakobsson
    Smith / Hina

    YC : Rocky
    RC: Ali

    RW starts Abby Smith and Kling as forwards, because, you know, we have to rotate players around or something. This slows the game down so much that the team goes back in time every time the ball approaches the opposing team’s 18 yard box. Kling, being the savvy player she is, uses this to our advantage to erase the first five goals Alex Morgan scores. This unusual, but effective, strategy seems certain to carry us to a win until RW subs out the forwards with her childhood imaginary friend Willy and a piece of pocket lint.

  2. 2-0 Thorns
    Weaver (Sugita)
    Smith (Weaver)

    YC – Riehl
    RC – Riehl

    As the famous San Diego “June Bloom” sets in the Thorns settle in right at home in the gloomy weather. Our beloved Thorns start Hubly, Sauerbrunn, and Nally up top and Smith, Weaver, and Sinc as the 3 backs because we are trying it out….for reasons…..

  3. I’m not eligible to play (since I’m the Alex Trebek of this show, as it were…) but if I did?

    1-1 draw, Morgan/Smith. I’ll just leave it at that.

      1. Since I’m sort of the referee for this one, I can’t really play, too. It wouldn’t be fair if I called ties if I have skin in the game.

  4. Thorns 2-2 SD Wave

    Sugita (Sinclair)
    Smith (Sugita)
    Morgan (unassisted)
    Morgan (Jakobsson)

    Yellow – Pogarch
    Red – Jodi Taylor

    Charlie (Morgan’s daughter) runs on to the field requesting snacks as Morgan lines up for a PK. Pogarch, in a fit of uncontrollable laughter, falls over and cannot regain composure to clear the penalty box in time, earning the yellow. Charlie gets upset by the brouhaha. Emily Menges swoops in and guides Charlie to a rocking chair on the sideline, and lulls the young tike to sleep by reading her waterfowl epic poem from Bel Esprit.

  5. Thorns 1-1 Wave

    Sinclair (Smith)
    Morgan (Turnbow)

    YC: Turnbow
    RC: Doniak

    A towering punt by Bixby is clipped by a hot-dogging naval aviator. The ball splashes down in a pool at Sea World, where the seal lions incorporate it into their act.

  6. 3-2 Thorns

    Sugita (Sinclair)
    Smith (Sinclair)
    Sinclair (Sugita)
    Morgan (Jakobsson)
    Morgan (Kornieck)

    YC: Turnbow
    RC: Turnbow

    For Pride night festivities, drag queens came onto the pitch at halftime to teach both teams a sassy new dance. Bixby and Smith sprained both ankles trying to keep up and Angerer had to finish out the half in goal.


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.