Thorns FC: Fuck you, Tabo…

Remember the Before Times? The weekend before last, when Coach Gale sent the troops out onto the Red Bull turf in the most defensive of defensive formations, bereft of attack, in order to grind out a low-scoring result on the road in Gotham?

Remember how that didn’t work?

Okay, well, this past weekend Ken had to nick some points. His crew had dropped 7 points from the preceding 9 on offer and were clinging to the final playoff spots by the thickness of a…well, I dunno; not goal difference (both +3) and not head-to-head (a couple of 1-1 draws).

Vibes? That’s kind of a Ken thing, so, sure.

The good news was that the visitors were Bay FC. Winless since…well, fuck! Since the last time they played his squad, way back in June!

But since then a complete tire fire; seven losses, four draws. As you can see from the table above; 13th of 14, GD -10, and with their big scoring hammer, Rachael Kundananji, out for the match.

Which is why poor Albertin Montoya went to the christmas tree just hoping to limit his losses while Ken returned to his beloved 4-3-3, tossed his better forward pairing (Reilyn Turner and Pietra Tordin) up front, stocked his midfield with the usual suspects, and counted on the expected offensive explosion.

The fuck that happened…

Instead…well, here’s where I tell a story.

This match was presaged by a nice little ceremony honoring Christine Sinclair. It was nice; lots of love, a fancy jacket, Sinc’s name on the “ring of honor”, her number retired (tho I wish they’d found an old 2013 red shirt instead of that ugly fucking Doritos for her framed retirement jersey…), lots of friends and family and teammates (I sure wish Hina-san had been among them…) and happiness abounded.

Sinc, and all of us, were warmed with a rosy glow of nostalgia, which is all very well, since she’s a legend and all.

But here’s the thing. One of the big reasons, possibly the biggest reason, that Sinc is a legend is that when she played she was a monster, a goddamn beast.

She never quit, never gave up, never gave in. She wasn’t fun to play against, and sometimes I wonder what she was like to play for; that hard eye must have been on you every moment and good luck jakin’ it with Sinc looking over your every failing brought on by sloppiness or inattention like a grouchy Canadian grizzly.

It was the final regular season match of 2013. Seattle away (probably in that gawawful shithole Starfire) with Seattle that season’s Wooden Spoon and Portland already clinched the away semifinal, so no real pressure. Phone it in, fine, whatever.

Indeed; after Megan Rapinoe put the Queens ahead in the 3rd minute Sinc equalized in the 8th, and it looked pretty obvious that by late in the match then-head-coach Parlow-Cone was just fine settling for the road point.

Sinclair shook herself, visibly furious at the prospect of giving anything to those fucking people, took the match by the scruff, and scored a late matchwinner.

She was a force and a fire, and she never let you forget it.

Last Saturday Ken’s cunning “plan” managed all of six shots, only three on goal; xG of 0.64 (0.17 first half, 0.47 second), post-shot xG of 0.98 (0.26 in the first half). Last Saturday it was Ken who had no clue how to get results.

Last Saturday it was Olivia Moultrie in the Sinclair “I am not losing to these fucking people” role. Sam Coffey contributed a “mazy run” to set up her first goal, and Reyna Reyes another which drew a foul to set up her free kick winner.

This wasn’t tactics. This wasn’t coaching. This wasn’t a plan.

This was Moultrie shaking herself and snarling; “Fuck you, Tabo, I do it myself.”

And so she did.

Torch?

Passed.

Short Passes

OPTA claims both clubs with 80 to 81% completion. I don’t buy it, which we’ll get to in a moment.

Here’s Sofascore’s “momentum” plot:

Makes sense; Portland with nothing in the first half and ships a goal, BFC all to pieces in the second, and ships two.

Here’s Carlisle-sensei with the passing. Portland:

I doubt it.

Bay:

That’s some ugly-ass soccer.

Turnover and over.

Here’s how things are going;

Opponent – Venue (Result)	Turnovers
Kansas City – Away (L)	38
Angel City – Home (D)	38
North Carolina – Home (D)	32
Utah – Away (W)	25
Seattle – Away (L)	34
Gotham – Home (W)	26
Louisville – Home (D)	16
Orlando – Home (W)	18
San Diego – Away (D)	32
Houston – Away (W)	21
Bay FC – Away (L)	No data
Washington – Home (W)	16
Chicago – Home (W)	22
Washington – Away (L)	27
Seattle – Home (W)	20
Carolina – Away (D)	26
Kansas City – Home (L)	35
Utah – Home (L)	26
Louisville – Away (W)	28
Chicago – Away (D)	27
San Diego – Home (D)	28
Gotham – Away (L)	30
Bay FC – Home (W)	34

Brutal. Twenty-one in the first half, 13 in the second. Bay was trying to beat the Thorns in the Biggest Loser and did; 37, 21 first half, 16 after the break.

Jessie Fleming was the Biggest Loser with five. Reyes and Vignola coughed up four times, Spaanstra and Moultrie three.

Luckily none were truly awful. Reyes overcooked a pass in the 14th minute that killed off a promising attack, but that was pretty much it.

Press!

Nineteenth match tracking the effect of each side’s press. I counted either a 1) turnover (either from a tackle-for-loss or a mishit forced pass), or a 2) forced retreat or drop-pass that killed off a progressive action, as a pressing “win”. If two players were involved in a press each received a half mark (for attempts) and a half credit for successes.

Another high-pressing match from Portland, much more successful than the last because, well, Bay. The visitors, on the other hand, didn’t press much because Portland didn’t do much with the ball worth pressing. When they did? They usually won the duel.

Match time	Bay presses (wins)(%)	Thorns presses (wins)(%)
0-15′	7(6) (85.7%)	21(17) (80.9%)
15-30′	6(5) (83.3%)	22(12) (54.5%)
30-4532′	5(5) (100%)	28(16) (57.1%)
First half	18(16) (88.8%)	71(45) (63.3%)
45-60′	9(6) (66.6%)	32(20) (62.5%)
60-75′	7(5) (71.4%)	19(11) (57.8%)
75-90+5′	11(8) (72.7%)	15(8) (53.3%)
Second half	27(19) (70.4%)	66(39) (59%)
Match Total	45(35) (77.7%)	137(84) (61.3%)

My thoughts:
1) Quality, meet quantity. We’ll talk about this in the next section, but the pressing was effective largely because sides were so sloppy in possession.
2) As usual, Fleming and Moultrie did most of the heavy pressing work. Fleming had a whopping 31 presses, 22 wins, including six gains (the leading ball-winner). Moultrie 23 presses, 10 wins, 2 gains.
3) Two of the three forwards forechecked extensively; Tordin (17 presses, 10 wins, 5 gains) and Turner (12 presses, 10 wins, 3 gains). Spaanstra was the odd-woman our (6 presses, no wins)
4) Other notable Thorns pressers; Coffey (11 presses, 6 wins, 1 gain), Vignola (8 presses, 4 wins, 2 gains), Loboa (9 presses, 6 wins), and Hiatt (6 presses, 5 wins, 2 gains.
5) On the receiving end, Reyes took the most punishment again, and the same number; 9 presses, 7 losses, though no turnovers. By results Spaanstra was hammered the worst; 5 presses, 4 losses, 3 turnovers. For the rest, Fleming lost 4 of 6 with 2 turnovers, Coffey 5 losses of 7 challenges with a turnover, Tordin 3 losses out of 4 with 2 turnovers. Moultrie, interestingly, lost only 2 duels (but turned over in one). Arnold lost all 3 presses including a horrific one we’ll discuss in her comment.

Here’s the running tally:

Match (Result)	Opponent Press (Success)	Thorns Press (Success)
Utah Away (W)	28/12 (42.8%)	27/15 (55.5%)
Seattle Away (L)	32/23 (71.8%)	21/15 (71.4%)
Gotham Home (W)	28/20 (71.4%)	19(15) (78.9%)
Louisville Home (D)	34/25 (73.5%)	14/8 (57.1%)
Orlando Home (W)	28/17 (60.7%)	43/24 (55.8%)
San Diego Away (D)	18/18 (100%)	100/36 (36%)
Houston Away (W)	27/17 (62.9%)	42/23 (54.7%)
Bay FC Away (L)	No data	No data
Washington Home (W)	31(15) (48.3%)	61(48) (78.6%)
Chicago Home (W)	31(21) (67.7%)	51(39) (76.4%)
Washington Away (L)	18(17) (94.4%)	25(12) (48%)
Seattle Home (W)	51(27) (52.8%)	42(33) (78.5%)
Carolina Away (D)	47(26) (55.3%)	59(39) (66.1%)
Kansas City Home (L)	43(23) (53.4%)	50(32) (64%)
Utah Home (L)	44(28) (63.6%)	64(29) (45.3%)
Louisville Away (W)	54(40) (74%)	46(30) (62.5%)
Chicago Away (D)	32(18) (56.2%)	67(39) (58.2%)
San Diego Home (D)	27(17) (62.9%)	87(61) (70.1%)
Gotham Away (L)	66(48) (72.7%)	101(43) (42.5%)
Bay FC Home (W)	45(35) (77.7%)	137(84) (61.3%)

Nine-tenths of the Law

This match I tracked the Thorns possessions; what they did with the ball whilst they had it, and what happened to it at the end. Specifically I tracked passes by type; forward, lateral, or drop/backpasses, length, and location (attacking third or otherwise).

I broke the match down into five parts:
0-36′ – Kickoff to the Huff goal (0-0 to 0-1)
36′-HT – Huff goal to halftime (0-1)
HT-51′ – Second half kickoff to Moultrie’s first goal (0-1 to 1-1)
51-69′ – Moultrie’s first to second goal (1-1 to 2-1)
69′-FT – Moultrie’s second goal to full time (2-1).

Here’s the tape of the tape:

P1 – 0-36′

in the first 36 minutes the Thorns had a total of 22 possessions.
2 (9%) ended in some sort of “attack” or entry into Bay’s final third (6′ – Tordin with a weak shot right at Silkowitz, and 16′ – Moultrie with a strong run towards goal that forced Bay to foul. The free kick was blocked out for the 18th minute corner).
5 (22.7%) were lost to good defending such as tackles for loss or intercepted passes.
15 (68.1%) were ended by Thorns turnovers.

During these possessions the Thorns made a total of 126 passes.
41 (32.5%) were “forward” passes (which included diagonal passes, either out wide or inside) of which 17 (13.4%) were in the Bay defensive third. 3 of these were turnovers.
33 (26.1%) were lateral or “square” passes, of which 5 (3.9%) were in the Thorns’ “attacking third”. No turnovers.
38 (30.1%) were drop or back passes, of which 6 (4.7%) were in the attacking zone.
1 was a long cross or switching-fields pass, and
13 (10.3%) were long lobs or deep long passes; only 2 (1.5%) landed in the “attacking zone”. Nearly half (6, 4.7%) were turned over.

So before Bay FC scored Portland made two forays into the attacking third, where they attempted 31 passes (24% of their total) and completed 23 (18.2%). They completed 117 (92.8%) of 126 passes, attempted two shots, put one on frame, and scored no goals (obviously).

P2 – 36′-Halftime

9 possessions.
No attacks or entries,
3 (33.3%) lost to tackles, interceptions, or other defensive actions,
5 (55.5%) lost to turnovers, and
1 ended by the halftime whistle.

A total of 79 passes during this period.
33 (41.7%) were “forward” passes; 13 (16.4%) were in the attacking third. A total of 7 (8.8%) were lost of which 5 were lost in the attack zone, so almost 40% of the “attacking” forward passes were turnovers.
16 (20.2%) were lateral passes, including 5 (6.3%) in the Thorns’ “attacking third”. No turnovers.
25 (31.6%) were back passes, 7 (8.8%) were in the attacking zone, no turnovers.
1 was a long cross-field pass which was lost, and
4 (5%) were long lobs; all landed in the “attacking zone”. One was turned over.

So no attacks, shots, or goals. Of 79 passes (70, or about 88% completed) 30 (about 38%) were in the attacking zone.

P3 – Halftime to 51′

8 possessions.
2 (25%) attacking possessions (46′ – Turner run forcing a foul and free kick, 51′ – Coffey run, Moultrie goal).
1 (12.5%) lost to defensive actions, and
5 (62.5%) lost to turnovers.

A total of 37 passes during this period.
13 (35.1%) were “forward” passes; 5 (13.5%) were in the attacking third. A total of 2 (5.4%) were lost, all in the attack zone, so 40% of the “attacking” forward passes were turnovers.
9 (24.3%) were lateral passes, only 1 in the Thorns’ “attacking third”…but that was Coffey-to-Moultrie for the goal. No turnovers.
12 (32.4%) were back passes, all in the Thorns end, no turnovers.
No long cross-field passes, and
4 (10.8%) were long lobs; 2 (50%) landed in the “attacking zone”. 2 (50%) were turned over.

So 1 shot, 1 goal. Of 37 passes (33, or about 89% completed) 8 (about 21%) were in the attacking zone.

P4 – 51′ to 69′

12 possessions.
2 (16.6%) attacking possessions (61′ – Thorns corner, Reyes header wide, 69′ – Reyes run draws foul, Moultrie free kick goal).
3 (25%) lost to defensive actions, and
7 (58.3%) lost to turnovers.

A total of 75 passes during this period.
28 (37.3%) “forward” passes; 12 (16%) in the attacking third. 3 (4%) were lost, all in the attack zone, 25% of the “attacking” forward passes were turnovers.
22 (29.3%) were lateral passes, 7 (9.3%) in the Thorns’ “attacking third”. No turnovers.
22 (29.3%) were back passes, 5 (6.6%) in the attack zone, no turnovers.
No long cross-field passes, and
3 (4%) long lobs; 1 (33%) landed in the “attacking zone”; it was turned over.

2 shots, 1 on frame, 1 goal. Of 75 passes (71, about 94%, completed) 25 (about 33%) were in the attacking zone.

P5 – 69′-Full time

14 possessions.
1 attack (76′ – Turner to the byline, but her long cross goes to Silkowitz).
8 (57/1%) lost to defensive actions, and
5 (35.7%) lost to turnovers.

A total of 71 passes during this period.
28 (39.4%) “forward” passes; 10 (14%) in the attacking third. 3 (4.2%) were lost, 2 in the attack zone, so 20% of the “attacking” forward passes were turnovers.
14 (19.7%) were lateral passes, only 1 in the “attacking third”. No turnovers.
23 (32.3%) were back passes, 6 (8.4%) in the attack zone, no turnovers.
2 (2.8%) long cross-field passes, 1 into the attack zone, 1 turnover, and
4 (5.6%) long lobs; 3 (4.2%) landed in the attack zone. 3 of 4 (4.2%) were turned over (most of there were late long clearances).

1 shot blocked, no goals. Of 71 passes (64, about 90%, completed) 21 (29.5%) were in the attacking zone.

Match Totals:

Total possessions: 65
Attacking possessions: 6 (9.2%)
Possessions lost to defensive actions: 20 (30.7)
Possessions lost to turnovers: 37 (56.9%)

Total passes: 388
Forward/diagonal passes: 143 (36.8%)
“Attacking” passes (in the Bay defensive third): 113 (29.1)
Lateral passes: 94 (24.2%)
Back passes: 120 (30.9%)
Cross-field passes: 4 (1%)
Long passes: 28 (7.2%)

Interesting stat: FBRef recorded not a single Thorns “through-ball”.

I jotted down what I’d call several attempts; the closest to success was in the 21st minute. Reyes tried to push a pass up to a running Moultrie, but between Liv’s lack of pace and good defending the Bay defense knocked it over the byline for a…

Corner Kicks

Three, two short, one long. One before the break, two after.

Time	Taker	Short/Long?	Result
18′	Moultrie	Short	…to Hiatt; her shot was blocked and cleared.
61′	Moultrie	Long	Onto Reyes head, but her header missed wide left.
66′	Moultrie	Short	…to Coffey, who began a passing sequence that ended when Alidou booted away for loss.

Got a header out of the long service, nothing from the other two.

Player Ratings and Comments

Spaanstra (62′ – +5/-5 : +2/-0 : +7/-5) It’s fairly obvious (to me, anyway. Dunno about Ken…) that Alexa Spaanstra, whatever her other fine qualities, is not a NWSL starting-quality forward. She lacks, well, everything; pace, shiftiness, shooting skills, as well as the indefinable “nose for goal” that successful strikers must possess.

It’s matches like this one, where the poor woman is left out to roam around hopelessly, that drive that home. I get it; lots of forwards out injured, regular starters gassed, time for some help off the bench.

Unfortunately for Portland, the club’s – mostly, Ken’s – failure to take points they should have (losing to Utah at home? Seriously?) means they have no slack to give on nights when the regulars deserve and should get an evening off.

That’s hard and unfair, because soccer is a cruel game, but there it is. There’s simply no room on a championship caliber squad for a Spaanstra-grade passenger.

Got no service, either, but that’s not on her.

Alidou (28 – +2/-2) Another bench player who hasn’t helped herself with recent outings. Virtually invisible over a half hour.

Tordin (62′ – +4/-2 : +2/-0 : +6/-1) Heavy legs? Burning out? As much time as I spent giving Spaanstra stick, the other forwards did next to nothing against one of the worst team defenses in the league. Same problem Spaanstra had, no service, which for a holdup forward like Tordin is particularly barren.

Loboa (29′ – +3/-1) Had a clever little turn in the 73rd minute that was immediately negated by a heavy first touch. Still looks very young, very raw, and a bit heavy on the tackle but, hey, Saturday night in Bogota, so…

Turner (91′ – +2/-0 : +3/-1 : +5/-1) Same here; no service, looked gassed, heavy-legged, and out of ideas. I’m not sure if there’s a “good” solution to the Thorns’ current “forward problem” without a solution to the coaching problem.

McKenzie (~4′ – no rating)

Moultrie (+5/-1 : +9/-1 : +14/-2) Woman of the Match.

I looked everywhere for a photo of Moultrie after her setpiece golazo; she stood on the spot of the free kick and simply raised her arms in the “Are you not entertained!?” gesture. The one at the header of this post is as close as I found, but it’s good enough. Huge, monster game for the reasons discussed above.

Coffey (+6/-0 : +11/-1 : +17/-1) Two players pulled Ken’s nuts out of this fire; Moultrie and Coffey, who was her vicious, relentless self; passing, tackling, pressing, and assisting.

When a midfielder puts the ball at her feet and runs not just at but…

…through two defenders?

That’s imposing yourself on the match like a boss.

Fleming (+3/-1 : +5/-1 : +8/-2) Another grinder. Worked hard, did good things (we’ve mentioned the pressing in particular). Still seems kind of on an island; Fleming just doesn’t seem to have real understanding with the forwards, and I’m not sure if it’s her, or the forwards, or (my personal suspicion) the coaching. But I’d like to see something more connected.

Reyes (+4/-1 : +3/-1 : +7/-2) Almost all her pluses are attacking/passing, given how handless BFC was in front of goal how much defending did she need to do? No real issues, but not really challenged, either.

(All three BFC opportunities were built on a Portland mistake or mistakes:
10′ – Spaanstra turned over near her own goal, Boade fed Huff, whose pointblank shot was blocked by a lunging Vignola for a corner kick.
39′ – Vignola turned over to Huff – she fed Bailey with Fleming woolgathering, Bailey crossed into Malinson, but Arnold came up huge and palmed Malinson’s good shot away.
89′ – Long lob catches Torpey out of position to give Moreau a short-range blast; blocked, it falls to Hocking. Coffey gives Hocking way too much time to slip the ball to Conti – who’s got position on Fleming – but Conti’s shot is also blocked over the byline)

Obaze (+1/-0 : +5/-0 : +6/-0) Same here. Solid, nothing special, nothing more needed.

Vignola (72′ – +4/-0 :+1/-1 : +5/-1) Solid debut. Some nice defending, some clever passing, a goof or two (given her unfamiliarity with the unit? Not a shock.).

Torpey (18′ – +6/-1) I usually groan when I see her name on the roster, but Torps had a good shift. Well played, mate.

Arnold (+1/-1 ; +1/-0 : +2/-1) Two moments; brilliant save in the 39th minute, appalling “WTF??!!!” nearly-tackled-for-loss-in-her-own-box-resulting-in-immediate-concession in the 13th minute.

I know I keep saying this, but Arnold is a fundamentally solid keeper who has the problem of making occasional, spectacularly-horrific errors like the 13th minute, or getting beat to her near post. Her problems are compounded by the Immanence of Saint Bella of the Adorable Infant; every gaffe brings out the yelping hordes of Bixby-stans and the thunder of the online fanbase.

I don’t think Arnold is as good as her goals-prevented numbers suggest, and she’s nowhere near as bad as her worst gaffes imply. She’s a middle-of-the-road NWSL starting keeper. If we had a better backline I suspect she’d look less goof-prone, but it’s hard to tell. Right now this squad has 99 problems and the ‘keep ain’t one.

Coach Ken: This guy, on the other hand…

I’ve seen Ken fuck some matches up pretty badly, but this one?

Whipping Bay FC in Portland should have been as dramatic as hunting a sleeping sloth with a fucking bazooka. Somehow Ken managed to make it exciting and scary and needed a kid too young to legally drink to her own heroics to do it herself and save his sorry Men’s-Wearhouse-suited ass.

Well, she yanked you up into fourth on goal difference and a point above…well, well, guess who?

The Orlando Pride, missing Barbara Banda, reeling and 1-5-6, 8 points, over the last 12 matches.

Your opponent for this coming Friday.

Good luck.!