Thorns FC: Whole Lotta Nothin’

Last weekend’s rivalry match – The Thorns of Portland versus The Damned Courage out of North Carolina – was one of the more entertaining scoreless draws I’ve ever seen.

Twice off the Portland woodwork, three potential penalty shouts, one an actual PK attempt and a penalty kick save, all wrapped in an open, end-to-end match between two clubs nearly level on the table.

The scoreline was nil-nil but there was a whole lot of shakin’ going on behind that scoreless line. Fun for the casual fan or neutral observer.

But.

I’m very much not casual or a neutral.

And when I go to Sofascore and see stuff like this:

Or to Henderson and see stuff like this:

I just want to bang my head against the wall. Portland with less than a third of the run of play? Less that half a post-shot xG off of over two goals worth of potentially dangerous opportunities? Jesus wept.

To make this wild rumpus even more frustrating, I saw some fine play from several Portland players that, as we saw on Matchday 2, was nerfed by a brutal lack of organization and tactical incoherence and, yes, I am fucking looking at you, Ken.

The trouble upfront is plain in the metrics; despite creating chances, nobody could finish.

The other problems I saw were largely in midfield. Despite abandoning his beloved 4-3-3 for a 4-4-2 diamond, Ken either didn’t train the troops to organize and defend it well, or they misunderstood his intentions, because we ended up seeing a lot of this; Carolina passing through the Thorns midfield at will.

Olivia Moultrie is already beaten, and Kaileigh Kurtz has multiple options, because Sam Coffey and Hina Sugita are marking space.

Kurtz picks out Denise O’Sullivan and drops a dime on her.

O’Sullivan already has Ashley Sanchez open to her right, and pushes up a simple pass to her. Notice the six black shirts now chasing the play? Yep.

Sanchez has Jadyn Shaw running into space, but chooses instead to dribble to the edge of the Thorns eighteen-yard box herself.

And so here’s Carolina, ready to have a crack, with multiple options open for the taking.

They didn’t take them, mind, at least not at first, passing around the outside of the box…until Hannah Betfort looped a header off the crossbar with Mackenzie Arnold well beaten for the third dangerous opportunity of Carolina’s night.

(O’Sullivan had fired close but wide in the ninth minute, and Natalia Staude caught Kaitlyn Torpey ballwatching in the 15th minute but Staude’s header went high.)

Five minutes after the Carolina attacking sequence shown above it was Carolina passing through Portland again, this time up to Meredith Speck in the northwest corner. Speck slotted inside to Shinomi Koyama.

Koyama looped a ball to Shaw…

who headed down to Betfort crashing the six-yard box.

Notice both Obaze and Sam Hiatt stranded; Obaze had been marking Betfort going up for Shinomi’s service, what Hiatt was doing I have no fucking idea. Betfort slammed a pointblank shot…

…and let’s now give a rose to Isabella Obaze, who stuck a boot out and got just enough of the ball to put it on the post instead of inside it giving Carolina the early lead.

Thanks, Iz!

We’ll talk about this when we discuss turnovers, but along with a midfield soft as church music the Thorns also showed a very familiar issue; difficulty reacting to the press. Carolina isn’t very good, but they love to possess. They want the ball. They crave it, and if you have it they will pester the shit out of you to get it.

Last weekend it worked like a mechanical ass-kicker. Press a Thorn, get a prize!

Couple of other things about this one, speaking of dumb prizes…

You don’t get a penalty, you don’t get a penalty, you…

We’ll talk about the PK that someone did get a bit more, but there were two other possible penalty-worthy contacts, the first in the 37th minute.

Hina-san pitched a typically-lovely Hina-ball up to a tear-assing Caiya Hanks. Hanks dribbled toward Casey Murphy’s right post as fullback Ryan Williams rode up her back and…

…over. Hanks went down and…

Nothing.

Center referee Elton Garcia seemed to chat with the VAR official (the guilty party from Matchday 2, Greg Dopka) for a bit but couldn’t be arsed to go peek at the monitor. Play on.

I can see where the “counterarguments” against a review come from; Williams is almost shoulder-to-shoulder, there’s very little arm-shove (Williams’ elbow? That’s another matter…) and Williams’ left boot looks like it gives the ball a tiny tap before Hanks rides the fucking nose plow.

I don’t buy them, for reasons we’ll go over in a bit.

The second didn’t-even-get-a-second-look came in the 80th minute, when a charging Pietra Tordin was chest-bumped on her butt by Staude. This time not even a VAR chat; went out for a Thorns corner, play on.

The one that did get called? A 73rd minute boot-knock in the box between Reina Reyes and Sanchez. Sanchez blew past Reyes, who stuck out a foot and caught Sanchez on the instep. If you want to watch it again, the play begins at about 5:20 on the highlight video here.

The thing is, while there was unquestionably contact between Reyes’ and Sanchez’s boots, Sanchez took so long to go down that Garcia let play go on for almost a half a minute before Dopka in the booth got his attention.

Reyes catches Sanchez on the foot. Sanchez takes one step, two steps…and suddenly she throws herself into a full-on knees-first dive and fall, like a goalscorer doing one of those knee-slide celebrations. So contact? Yes. But…

The foul looked soft because it was soft. At least as soft as the 37th minute Williams push on Hanks or the 80th minute Staude chest-bump on Tordin.

I’m not usually one to whine about officiating. Calls are like weather or the pitch; you get what you get and make the best of it. But these? If one is VAR-worthy they all were.

If the first two weren’t, neither was the third.

That they were treated so differently is what makes the effect of the treatment so different.

Short Passes

For the first time this season Portland was comprehensively outpassed; 76% completion of 358 passes to Carolina’s 82% of 479, consistent with the massive Carolina edge in possession, 58% to 42%.

It’s Wednesday evening and our “vaudevillian cane” blogger andre carlisle hasn’t posted his MD 03 analysis, so we’ll have to make do with the good people from Sofascore’s positioning charts. First Portland:

Hmm. I seem to recall saying last week “…still narrow AF…” and, yes, still narrow AF. That ridiculous conga line to the left side of the center circle, WTF..?

Forget it, Jake. It’s KenTown.

Update 4/3: Here’s our guy:

So nope. ASA saw the same problems. I’m pretty shocked at how much work Reyes did and how poorly she did it, both passing and receiving. Ouch.

Here’s The Damned:

This looks like an actual formation you could use to actually play soccer.

Here’s the ASA network; pretty much identical:

Not hard to figure out why the Thorns were pretty much bossed around most of the match, eh? Coaching! How does it work?

Turnover and over.

Here’s how things are going;

Opponent (Result) – 2025	Turnovers
Kansas City – Away (L)	38
Angel City – Home (D)	38
North Carolina – Home (D)	32

A bit better, but not much.

Seventeen turnovers in the first half, 15 in the second. Carolina was pretty sloppy, too; 25 total, and actually out-lost Portland 18-to-17 in the first half.

The Thorns’ Biggest Loser was Reyes with five. Castellanos gave up four-and-a-half, Torpey four, Sugita and Hanks three each.

The “good news” of this bad-news joke is that only two were genuinely scary, and even then Carolina ended up being unable to do much with them.

press!

This match I didn’t just count the unforced turnovers. I couldn’t help noticing how Portland struggled to escape when Carolina pressed the player on the ball. I started counting how many of The Damned’s presses succeeded; I counted either a 1) Portland turnover (either from a tackle-for-loss or a mishit forced pass), or a 2) forced retreat or drop that killed off a progressive action, as a Carolina press “success”.

Here’s the results:

Match time	Total Presses	Successful	Turnovers	Retreat/Drop
0-15′	12	10	8	2
15-30′	6	6	5	1
30-45+5′	10	7	5	2
45-60′	6	4	4	0
60-75′	2	2	2	0
75-90+3′	9	4	4	0
Total	45	33 (73%)	28	5

I didn’t track the Thorns’ press per se, but I have a total of 26 similar defensive actions as “pluses” for Portland players (either tackles, forechecking, or tackles-for-gain). So it looks from here like the Thorns pressed less, or were less successful, than Carolina, but it’s hard to really rely on this since I didn’t keep track of the failed Portland pressing.

I guess the “good news” piece of this is that Portland got better later in the game. We’ll discuss in comments, but I think some (or a big) part of that was replacing Castellanos with Fleming at around the hour mark.

I’m curious about this, so I’ll continue to track the opponent press, and next match I’ll include a stat for the Thorns as well.

Corner Kicks

Eight, four in each half. All long.

Time	Taker	Short/Long?	Result
11′	Moultrie	Long	Onto Hina’s head; her header was fairly tame and wide right.
13′	Moultrie	Long	Hiatt’s head this time, and the header was wide left instead.
21′	Moutrie	Long	Pinged off heads, finally dropped out to Moultrie. Her pass to Sugita produced a shot, blocked then cleared away
45+1′	Moultrie	Long	Onto Turner’s head, headed over.
64′	Moultrie	Long	Long sequence of attack ending with a Moultrie effort blocked over the byline for a corner.
65′	Moultrie	Long	Into the pack, cleared out to Hina whose long cross went out for a goal kick.
80′	Moultrie	Long	Into the pack again, cleared again, lost again.
90+1′	Moultrie	Long	Right to Murphy

A trio of soft headers, a couple of blocked shots. Not much, really.

Player Ratings and Comments

Hanks (75′ – +5/-1 : +3/-1 : +8/-1) We’ve discussed the non-penalty, but overall the young forward struggled to find space and connection with her teammates. Part of it was, I think, that playing a narrower two-forward front meant that the space along the flanks Hanks exploited against Angel City was missing.

Not bad exactly, but not the fire she brought to the previous game.

Spaanstra (15′ – +1/-0) No impact.

Turner (75′ – +8/-2 : +1/-0 : +9/-2) Had the most opportunities of any Thorn in the first half; three shots, 0.23 xG. Post-shot xG? Zero; two blocked, the third the injury time header over the bar. Faded badly in the second half, so the sub off was timely.

Tordin (15′ – +2/-1) Unfortunately Pietra Tordin continued Turner’s run of form; three shots, two blocked, one off-frame, 0.18xG, 0.0PSxG.

Moultrie (+8/-1 : +11/-2 : +19/-3) Woman of the Match. Lots of good work, but not on goal. I’d like to see Livvy take a crack more often. If her opponents don’t have to fear that they’ll let her tool the ball around and mark her teammates against the shot. That makes things difficult for everyone.

Credit for good defensive work, too; not a Moultrie positive until this year.

Castellanos (59′ – +1/-4 : +2/-2 : +3/-6) So far the reign of “Queen Deyna” has been a single match, making Lady Jane Grey look like Victoria Regina. Soft as jello, easily dispossessed, and seldom in threatening positions, last Saturday Castellanos looked like all the negative reviews she earned at her last two gigs.

Not sure what happened, but I’m wondering if the formless mass that is GaleBall isn’t getting in her head. Or maybe she just is who her detractors said she was. I hope not. The squad needs her to be better or Ken has to bench her for…

Fleming (31′ – +7/-0) Solid work in relief with the caveat, like Moultrie, she didn’t really put the Damned goal in danger. Tough in possession and on the tackle, smart, effective passes. At the moment looking like the better option than Castellanos.

Coffey (+2/-1 : +7/-2 : +9/-3) We’ve gone over the whole midfield problem. Without support it’s too easy for opponents to pass around Coffey, especially a well-organized possession machine like Nahas’ Carolina. I’m frankly not sure how much of this is Coffey and how much is Ken, but the effect is nerfing one of the best #6’s in the sport.

Sugita (+10/-0 : +7/-0 :+17/-0) Another sip from a vintage Hina-san-kinapaku-iri.

Again, though…if the Thorns are going to score (which, at this moment, stands at about 0.6G/game, so they’re not scoring…) they’re going to need all hands. Hina-san has a good rifle, I’d like to see her shoot it more often, too.

Reyes (+6/-3 : +5/-2 : +11/-5) Probably the best, certainly the busiest, of the backs. Had the PK gone differently, well…as the saying goes, one awshit cancels a thousand attaboys. But it didn’t, so. Well played.

Obaze (+4/-3 : +2/-0 : +6/-3) On the other hand (or foot…) Obaze’s block of the Betfort post pays for a lot of awshits. Which she didn’t have, really. Solid match.

Hiatt (+0/-3 : +1/-2 : +1/-4) A very Hublyesque mixture of decent centerback play punctuated with horrific derps, both awful short clearances in the second half plus the failure to track Shaw in the 31st minute that ended up forcing Arnold to dive and punch a Shaw shot around her post. Not Hiatt’s best work.

Torpey (+5/-5 : +4/-1 : +9/-6) Last week I was ready to give up on the Matilda. This time? Enh…not terrific, not awful. Brings a lot going forward, but makes a lot of defensive errors, which since she’s a back is kind of a problem. But better than the first two games, so let’s see how she shapes.

Arnold (+2/-1 : +2/-1 : +4/-2) In her match against Chicago here last season I wrote:

“The Prime announcers were all about how Arnold “started the wrong way” as Swanson approached the ball:

I don’t think it was “wrong” at all; I think Arnold was baiting Swanson.

That’s a controlled step. I think Arnold wanted Swanson to think she was diving to her (Arnold’s) left so Swanson would play a safe, easy shot well inside Arnold’s right post.”

Someone (like, ummm…maybe her team’s keeper coach..?) should have given Jadyn Shaw that little bit of history, because…

Arnold did the same exact thing to Shaw from the spot. Given the ridiculous way the penalties/non-penalties were called/not called? That’s justice. So here’s a pint to you, Macca! Oi! Oi! Oi!.

Okay, now. As I wrote last week…I really wonder if one of Arnold’s issues isn’t situational awareness.

She’s terrific against the spot. But from the run of play? Decent but not nearly as boss. She got damn lucky on the Betfort crossbar; her jump was too low and too late. Overall she’s still at least a decent starting NWSL keeper, and, yes, she’s good against the penalty. But I’m not going to say she won’t have other issues down the season.

Coach Ken: I’m not sure what more I can say. Sam Coffey’s face in the photo above is giving you a big ol’ hint, though, bro.

Once again we see a team with fine individual play and players that struggles against a gormless chowder of shapeless disorganization and what looks like a failure of collective training. Too many times we’ve seen good performances left hanging by what looks like a lack of understanding amongst the squad about who’s doing what when.

This time I’ll cut you some tiny slack; the post-shot xG suggests some of this home draw rests on your shooters.

Still…the ultimate responsibility is yours. If your forwards can’t convert? Jesus, man; you’ve got forwards dropping out of the fucking trees! If you train Forward A in tactics that enables her to create chances and she can’t finish? Plug in Forward B!

This match also drives home the degree to which you need to sort your midfield out.

Castellanos looks out of form and out of ideas. You either need to tighten up her shot group or consider starting Fleming over her. Coffey needs some help, too. Moultrie and Sugita need to start threatening the enemy goal until your forwards can start producing.

You’ve got nearly two weeks before your outfit goes to Mormonland to play the dire Royals. Even on the road that should be a sure win. Utah is legitimately crap, and to return without all the points?

Well..?