Thorns FC: Vacation

I’m on vacation this week.

My kid sister has come to visit – she arrived Friday in time to tag along to the Utah match – and we left for the coast that weekend. We’ve been staying down here all this week doing “Oregon Coast stuff”. Beachcombing, whale watching, hiking. It’s been a nice getaway.

That’s not my excuse.

I brought my laptop (I had a bit of contract work). I looked; the replay is up at NWSL+. I even pulled up the stream a couple of times and sat there staring at the screen.

I just can’t.

This season finally got me. I can’t find the steel inside to watch another hundred minutes of Rob Gale’s incoherent, undercooked “soccer”; poor communication, lack of incisive passing (OPTA says the Thorns were brutally outpassed again – Utah completed 83% of 496 passes, Portland 73% of 393) and inability to possess (45%-55%), brutal defensive errors (a Hubly turnover, Sauerbrunn non-tackle, and Hogan positioning error led to the first concession, a Coffey foul and failure to body Tanaka off the rebound of the ensuing free kick produced the second), and just general Gale crap.

Once again, I gotta ask; WTF are you doing in training, Ken?

This mob never looks like they’ve practiced together. People make runs but get no service, people make crosses that no one runs on to. It’s all freelancing, pickup soccer. The sort of pretty interplay that produced the Weaver goal in LA? Gone as if it had never been.

Here’s how our “vaudevillian cane” blogger Andre Carlisle saw it:

He’s not shitting. Here’s the xG plot if you pull out the Portland penalty:

And as you look at that keep this in mind; Utah aren’t a good team. If the Thorns don’t fall apart around the fiftieth minute this mess probably ends scoreless.

It takes some real dark soccer genius to make Hannah Betfort look like Marta.

It’s obvious by now that the Bhathals are going to ride this season into the ground.

They made the mistake of tearing the interim tag off Gale early, so to sack him now makes their stupidity too obvious for even the dimmest fan to ignore. That’s not going to happen until the club falls below the red line and the season ends, or after the inevitable playoff exit.

Likewise they’re not going to can Karina LeBlanc anytime soon…

…given that her pregame walkaround was greeted with much rejoicing; the fanbase in general isn’t done with her as we are here and over at Stumptown.

I wish I could say or do something to change that, but the Bhathals are clearly in DGAF Mode. Nothing is coming down from the C-Suite. So what more can I add, really?

I’m going to take the week off and just enjoy the Coast.

I’ll be back after the Orlando match with the usual writeup.

I’m sorry I’m jakin’ it so in humble apology, here’s some pretty pictures:

And here:

And here:

Thanks for your patience.

Update 10/9 pm: When I’m wrong, I’m wrong:

“RAJ Sports, the sports investment platform for the Bhathal Family, owners and operators of Portland Thorns FC, announced today that Karina LeBlanc will transition out of her role as Thorns General Manager following the conclusion of the 2024 NWSL season. LeBlanc, an NWSL Champion as both a player and general manager, will join RAJ Sports in a role across the Portland Thorns and Portland WNBA. The Portland Thorns will begin the search for a new General Manager immediately.”

Three thoughts:

1. #KKOut? Better late than never.
2. #KK-not-really-out-but-kicked-upstairs-a-la-Mike-Norris? Not great, Bob! Given her reported toxicity, putting her in position to fail upwards is less than ideal, especially if it gives her input into the GM hiring process.
3. The staff hires the RAJ Sports people have made to date are uninspiring, and AFAIK there’s still no actual soccer brains inside this organization.

The big unanswered part of this is what is the “…role across the Portland Thorns and Portland WNBA”? Is is “RAJ Sports Human Resources Director”? We’ve seen LeBlanc’s wisdom in that role when she doxxed the players who protested l’affaire Mengison.

I honestly don’t want her to have ANY role in 1) hiring/firing, or 2) player or staff personnel. None fucking whatsoever.

If she can be limited to shooting the T-shirt cannon at Portland Rain games?

Fine.

I want to be hopeful. I want this club to be better. My confidence in the soccer skills of the Bhathals is not high, though. Frankly, they’re gonna have to prove me wrong by 1) hiring an actually-skilled GM, and 2) shitcanning Gale when the first opportunity presents itself.

Will they?

We’ll see.