Thorns FC: Easy to be hard

For the 2024 Thorns squad’s pregame briefing last Saturday at Red Bull Arena, Coach Gale had perhaps the easiest job he’d had all season, because this…

…and this…

…meant his options were pretty limited.

When you aren’t going to dress Sophia Smith and, instead, put Christine Sinclair and Olivia Moultrie up top? And you don’t have Sam Coffey and have to ask Hina Sugita and Jessie Fleming to sit back in some sort of double pivot?

It’s pretty easy to know what you have to do:
“Okay, gang. We’re going to have trouble scoring, since this is the second toughest defense in the league and we’re missing The Maestra. So sit in tight, fergawdsakes don’t derp and concede early, and let’s try an grind this one out and get the road point, K?”

Turns out sometimes the easy stuff is hard to actually do.

Hey! Who knew?

It took all of less-than-ten-minutes for Ken’s “plan” – assuming there WAS a plan – to go completely to Hell.

In the 7th minute Gotham’s Katie Stengal threw into Bruninha. Reyes had Bruninha fronted up and Izzy D’Aquila had Stengal, so…

…the Goths did a nifty little swap, outworking both Thorns, especially D’Aquila, who got caught staring at Stengal or something, freeing up Bruninha to run to space looking to cross in.

Now…you’d think that even at this point Gotham doesn’t have much to work with. Portland’s backline outnumbered the Gotham attackers three-to-two, as Bruninha swung the cross in and the Joisey Goils began their runs:

But, again, Gotham outworked Portland.

Ella Stevens got ball-side of Becky Sauerbrunn, just plain outjumped her, and Stevens’ little flick header shot past a planted Shelby Hogan…

…and inside the far post for the matchwinner.

On the other end? Lots of this; beginning with Reyes in possession deep in the Gotham defensive third:

Notice the difference between these two attacks despite the similar locations.

Reyes doesn’t have a drop – or any help at all, really – and the Thorns front line is either even with or close to the Gotham backline, so the Thorns can’t very well run at (or through) them.

It doesn’t really matter, because Reyes can’t get space enough to even put in the cross. Instead she has to turn and dribble back…

…and further back…

…and (I like Fleming doing her best impression of a “this way to the egress” sign)…even further back until Reyes gives up and drops all the way into the backline.

Lots of fans were pretty chapped about leaving Sinclair and D’Aquila out for damn near an hour, and, no, that didn’t help matters.

But when Ken swapped Reilyn Turner for D’Aquila and Payton Linnehan for Sinc? Well…this, starting with Portland (I think that’s Spaanstra) in possession at the top of the arch.

She’s got Linnehan out unmarked to her left and Moultrie a bit tighter to her right. So where does she go?

Straight up the gut inside to Turner, who has Jess Carter on her back touch-tight:

Sophia Smith might be able to turn and shake that sort of coverage.

Turner can’t. She’s not Smith and won’t be, at least not by this match. She has to drop right back out.

The crazy part of this is that the Thorns held possession and…tried to force the ball into Turner again.

And failed again.

The bottom line is that Ken’s pregame talk was absolutely right; since the Thorns had nothing going forward…

…they needed to be a stone wall in back, and weren’t, giving Gotham way too much time and space, and the Joisey Goils took every second and every inch and made Portland pay.

Short Passes

OPTA has both sides as fairly tidy; Portland’s 79% completion (434 passes) to Gotham’s 83% (471 passes)

Here’s our “vaudevillian cane” blogger andre carlisle:

Okay, how about this? An actual 4-4-2 with – if you HAVE to start her at forward – Sinc playing like an actual forward, not a central midfielder or whatever the hell she’s doing farkling around in the center circcle.

That other shit in the center circle, though? Fuuuuuck that’s ugly. Plus Sinc…hey, how about this, instead?

Call it a 4-2-3-1 with Turner at CF, Spaanstra and D’Aquila on the wings (not ideal for D’Aquila, though, so let’s put Linnehan there instead if we can…). Moultrie at the #10 and – gomen nasai, Hina-san – Sugita – because Fleming and Moultrie aren’t good defenders – and Fleming as double pivots.

Sigh.

Anyway, here’s Gotham:

And the backline drops its’ hands and sticks out its’ chin. Yeah, fair enough.

Gruesome.

Turnover and over.

Here’s how things are going

Opponent (Result) – 2024	Turnovers
Kansas City (L)	43
Gotham (L)	30
Louisville (D)	54
Carolina (L)	34
Houston (W)	No data
Chicago (W)	No data
Bay FC (W)	41
Washington (W)	26
Seattle (W)	20
Houston (W)	21
Orlando (L)	28
North Carolina (W)	27
Seattle (D)	26
Kansas City (L)	35
Utah (D)	35
San Diego (W)	30
Gotham (L)	43

A disaster, and tied for second with the Opening Day rout, Kansas City away. Twenty-five in the first half, 18 in the second. Turnovers were a constant problem; they killed off promising attacks in the 11th, 38th, 40th, and 44th minutes, as well as gifting Gotham a dangerous shot in the 19th minute.

The REALLY Biggest Loser Race was lost/won by Fleming in a gallop with a shocking eight turnovers, the highest number I recall seeing so far this season from a single player. Hogan and Moultrie coughed up five each, Spaanstra and Sugita each lost four, D’Aquila, Reyes, and Turner three each.

Corner Kicks

Two. Both long, one in each half.

Time	Taker	Short/Long?	Result
21′	Moultrie	Long	Dropped in to D’Aquila, but she was well defended; managed to boot it out to Muller, whose weak recycled punt went to Gotham
53′	Moultrie	Long	Cleared, Gotham gained possession.

Not much. D’Aquila really didn’t have time or space for anything, and the other went nowhere.

Throw-Ins

I had a LOT of the same problems on throw-ins on this one I had with the San Diego match.

The CBS crew must have had the same Prime Video director, because, as I said after San Diego: “The (director) was awful in general about cutting away from the whole field view during live play, but dead balls and throw-ins drove him utterly mad. The typical throw-in sequence included a couple shots of random players wandering around, a coach doing some coaching things, a couple more players, this time running as though the ball was in play, then, finally, a wide enough shot to see what the teams were doing.”

This time I did try and keep track, though, and here’s what I got:

Both sides took about twenty throw-ins; I had Portland with 21, Gotham with 20.

Of Portland’s throw-ins I had ten (47.6%) connecting successfully. Six (28.6%) went to Gotham. Of the remaining five, three were “neutral” – neither being turned over nor advancing Portland possession – and two were cut away from so much I couldn’t tell what happened.

Gotham connected on ten throws (50%) and lost seven (35%). The remaining three were unobserved.

Here’s how that’s going:

Opponent	Advantage gained	Advantage lost	Opponent gain	Opponent loss
Kansas City	62.5%	8.3%	59.2%	40.1%
Gotham	62.8%	22.8%	57.1%	38%
Racing	84.3%	15.7%	43.7%	50%
Carolina	70.9%	29.2%	73%	27%
Houston
Chicago
Bay FC	64.2%	28.5%	71.4%	28.5%
Washington	41.6%	58.3%	62.5%	34.3%
Seattle	71.4%	14.2%	80%	20%
Houston	67.8%	25%	69.6%	30.3%
Orlando	76%	24%	73%	30.7%
Carolina	89.4%	5.2%	57.6%	26.9%
Seattle	85.7%	9.5%	68.7%	28.7%
Kansas City	70.7%	29.3%	72.7%	27.3%
Utah	65.5%	30%	50%	50%
San Diego
Gotham	47.6%	28.6%	50%	35%
Average	68.6%	23.5%	63.5%	32.6%

Player Ratings and Comments

Sinclair (55′- +3/-4 : +0/-1 : +3/-5) The scoreline and Henderson’s xG plot pretty much tells you all you need to know.

But. Here’s the thing. Here IS that xG plot:

We know how immobile Sinc is at this point. If the Thorns aren’t creating more with her off the pitch – as the plot, and the screenshots at the top suggest they’re not – then the issue is not just Sinclair.

Or Turner.

Or Spaanstra, Moultrie, Linnehan, or D’Aquila.

I’ll let you connect the rest of the dots.

Linnehan (35′ – +5/-1) Good shift, just…well, what we just discussed.

D’Aquila (55′ – +4/-3 : +0/-0 : +4/-3) First; not a winger. Second…

…also not a right outside midfielder or whatever the fuck this is.

I see why OPTA says the Thorns ran out a 4-4-2. That’s what this is, but the weirdest in soccer history. Moultrie at LCF? Spaanstra and D’Aquila as AMs? Ken, WTF?

Well, it worked like a lead pool float, so we’re not likely to see it again…

Turner (35′ – +2/-1) Hard to say.

Pulled off a lovely run in the 75th minute marred by a poor final touch and Katrin-Ann Berger coming strong off her line. Also lurking intelligently on the bizarre 61st minute almost-own-goal from Fleming’s lofted cross that clanked off 1) Carter’s head and 2) Berger’s right post before bounding away.

Seems smart, and quick, with good instincts. Hopefully we’ll see her surrounded by better tactics to see better from her.

Spaanstra (77′ – +7/-3 : +1/-1 : +8/-4) I liked what I saw, but, again, the “attack” was so bereft I didn’t see much. Pacey, so hamstrung by having to wait up for Granny’s walker. Supposed to be a scoring threat but only had one shot off-target and two blocked shots, so hard to tell.

McKenzie (13′ – no rating) I literally didn’t know she’d come on when I reviewed tape, and OPTA got the subs disastrously wrong on the stats page so I didn’t know who she’d subbed for until after I’d written this. So…invisible.

Moultrie (+3/-2 : +7/-2 : +10/-4) Took a long time to build into the match, but had the Thorns’ best chances in the 71st and 84th minutes. Still…we need better from her individually, and as part of a unit the Thorns’ midfield was a mess at Gotham; slow, disconnected, easily bypassed and ineffective in attack.

That’s mostly on Ken, not Moultrie, but on her current form she’s not part of the solution.

Sugita (+1/-1 : +6/-0 : +7/-1) What’s telling is that five of Hina-san’s pluses are for defensive actions; four tackles and a forechecking press.

That’s using a thoroughbred to pull a beer wagon. I could weep.

Fleming (77′ – +0/-1 : +3/-0 : +3/-1) Why? Why are you like this?

People who watch you play for Canada rave about you and love you to pieces. I watch you here and I don’t get it. What is it that you do for them that you can’t or won’t do for us? If I had to guess I’d lay it on Ken, but I’m hearing Herdman was no prize, either. So…why are you like this..?

Klingenberg (13′ – +3/-0) When your “impact sub” is a 36-year-old fullback playing midfield..?

Reyes (66′ – +2/-4 : +2/-2 : +4/-6) The backline as a unit did not have a good day, and neither did Reyes. Nothing individually disastrous, but lots of little positioning errors and just not on task 24/7. I’m not sure why the backline is like this; that was supposed to be the big upside of bringing in a post-prime Sauerbrunn; the “veteran leadership” that would put the steel of the Menges Era of 2016-17 back into the group.

Well..?

Payne (24′ – +1/-1) No real impact.

Hubly (+3/-3 : +4/-2 : +7/-5) Kind of the same as Reyes; not awful, not terrific, either. At least no major derps, which given her season to date is not a given.

Sauerbrunn (+4/-3 : +3/-0 : +7/-3) Having called her out for getting owned on the Stevens goal, ‘Brunn was the best Thorns defender and by a long walk. Somehow needs to infuse her fury into her unit, but not a discreditable day for ‘Brunn.

Muller (+3/-5 : +3/-3 : +6/-8) On the other hand, Marie Muller was kind of a mess at Gotham, and that weird on-again-off-again form of hers has been a disturbingly not-uncommon problem so far.

Over her last eight games my Muller comments included:
San Diego: “Lots of good, spiked with some real “WTF?” stuff.”
Utah: “What was this sub supposed to accomplish?”
Kansas City: “Muller was the best of the backline in general.”
Seattle: “Back to her “second half problems” mode…needs to keep her head in for the full 90.”
North Carolina: “My pick for Woman of the Match.”
Orlando: “Best of the backline, tho as usual kind of faded late, making some poor decisions and missing tackles.”
Houston: “Muller seems to lose focus late; made some real howlers after the half hour,”
Seattle away: “Big match, big performance…”

Not sure what’s going on with her. When she’s on? She’s a beast. But it’s hard to tell which Muller will show up, or when, or if, she’ll check out if Beast Mode is on.

Hogan (+0/-1 : +2/-2 : +2/-3) I think Hogan just played her way onto the bench.

I don’t think the club bought Makenzie Arnold just to sit her. I think their expectations are that Arnold is the #1 keeper.

But Hogan has been a good soldier. She deserves a chance to make her case to stay on the pitch, and I think that was on trial in Jersey.

She didn’t.

Though she wasn’t at fault on the Stevens goal her dive on Ryan’s was late and soft. And though I’m a huge skeptic on the whole issue of goalkeeper distribution hers was beyond her usual “poor” and well into “holyshit!” awful at Gotham.

Mind you, if the Thorns backline doesn’t get less shifty most quick it won’t fucking matter if Lev Yashin was between the sticks.

Coach Ken: 8-3-2 now, eh? That six-win run seems so long ago…

There’s so much to pick on about this one.

You knew what your club had to work with, so you knew what it needed to do to have any hope to get a result.

It didn’t, or couldn’t, do that, and so it didn’t get the result.

Your midfield was a muddled mess, without clearly defined roles and assignments. The roles you did gave them appeared to be poorly suited to their skillsets. Look at the passing plot; what the fuck even IS that?!

Your forwards had a similar problem. Sinclair, obviously, most of all since she’s no longer a forward, a starter, or an impact sub, but D’Aquila is not a winger and neither Spaanstra nor Linnehan were effective wide. You kept trying Smith hero-ball – forcing passes inside – to people who can’t do Smith things! The attacking tactics, whatever they were supposed to be, were not well fitted to your roster.

Yes, you were missing Smith, Coffey, and Weaver.

They were missing Dunn, Purce, and Williams. You’re not going to win with that argument, not with a 0.3 xG and a 2.00 xG against.

Amoros convinced Lavelle and Davidson to play a half hour or so. What did you say, or not say, to Smith and especially to Coffey, that left them in the stands when their team needed them?

Everyone goes to the playoffs this year, and this roster should still be able to thrash points out of the Utahs and Bay FCs enough to stay above the red line.

But…what then? Does anyone think we’re going to beat Orlando? Kansas City? Gotham? Washington?

Is the Thorns fanbase going to be content with mid-table mediocrity and an early playoff exit?

Well?

You’re the boss; so now it’s your question to answer.