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The Choice Making Process
Making selections is never straightforward and the worst thing is we are never taught how you can make decisions. No one taught us this life skill as we are rising up. Nobody in school or at dwelling taught us. We only be taught via observation. And more often than not we observe people not knowing the way to make a choice!
And probably the most ineffective processes is within the making of a pros and cons list! And this is without doubt one of the hottest ways in which individuals base their selections on.
So the commonest question I get from my students and purchasers is this: Do I make my choice primarily based on logic or primarily based on what my heart tells me? Ah, this is where we trip ourselves up BIG TIME. We frequently see logic and our feelings as two separate entities, because we have now not experienced them sufficient to be one unit. And we now have not understood ourselves sufficient to know that they are interconnected.
Now let's play devil's advocate right here: what's logic? The definition of logic is right reasoning. However right reasoning is not the final word truth. Our reasoning is based on data we have now at the moment, and so logic expands or contracts depending on available data/information. This additionally implies that logic can change or evolve as we evolve. Once we talk about logic, we appear to have a fixed concept that logic does not change. But once we talk about feelings/emotions, we've got no qualms about accepting that yes, our feelings/emotions do change relying on situations/circumstances.
If both logic and our feelings do evolve/rework, this means that our resolution-making process is definitely a lot simpler than we think. Why? Now we have a higher tolerance for things to vary, and that even if we make a call now based mostly on what we know, that call has room to evolve as well because we are open to the idea that we will have more information over time.
Ultimately, this means that we can only make choices based mostly on the current moment. I know this sounds kinda zen. But this is the only way we will move. We cannot live our lives stuck previously primarily based on previous data, neither can we wait in anticipation of what is to come, and be in paralysis, not knowing methods to make the decision. So we will only make choices based on the current moment. Does this make sense to you?
The problem with us humans is that we are so filled with fears that confront us in our aware and unconscious that it is nearly not possible for most individuals to make selections based on the current moment. Most individuals cannot live like this. They want guarantees in life, they want ensures in success, they fear to be in pain, to be hurt. And so they just need to management everything happening in their lives, which we know could be impossible.
Making an attempt to control everything and wanting ensures will not be residing, and it comes from a particularly egocentric perspective that you simply actually think you've gotten any type of management in anyway, which stems from a narcissistic egomaniac mind! Can you imagine that almost all of humanity working this way?
In the end, what occurs is that folks start making selections primarily based on their fears. "Never trust your fears, they do not know your strengths" this is such an incredible quote! Our fears are brief-sighted and often haven't any depth in perspective, and making our choices primarily based on fears limits us, and prevents us from seeing more and additional, and it certainly keeps us in the loop of our comfort zone. We really feel a temporary sense of freedom, thinking we've made the decision that serves us, however whatever selections we've got made that stems from fear will come back to haunt us, it is only a matter of time.
As zen as it may sound, the most effective resolution-making process is still one that is based on the present moment, that feeds into our empowered state, and provides us a sense of freedom to understand that: hey! I am always free to vary my perspective about things, individuals, situations and that I'm allowed to evolve.
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